husband wants to leave again
By poppoppop111
@poppoppop111 (5731)
Canada
March 18, 2010 3:24pm CST
well for those of you who read my discussions a while back about my husband leaving when we found out i was pregnant. well we ended up working it out. now i have the opportunity to get my dream job out of the country for a 6 month contract. he said he'd always support my work, well different story now. he says he wants me to go but then says well if your going to continue doing jobs like this there is no point in being together cause i can't see you. it always seems something is comming up. i can't pass on this job and i can't take him with cause it's on an archeological site and living conditions are camping in tents in the antarctica. life is getting confusing again. i told him though i'm not going to let anything stop me from my dream job.
4 people like this
16 responses
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
Dream job, selfish husband... dream job, selfish husband. I think the choice is clear. I agree with one of the posts here, if he keeps coming up with excuses not to marry and stay married, then there will always be something or other that will make him leave. He must be really insecure because at your young age (young to me at least), you have your dream job. How many time in your life do you think this will come up? As for men... you know the answer. Good luck! Seriously, you're like Indiana Jones, lady version. Go rock the world! A mother with a fulfilling career is more inspiring to a child.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
18 Mar 10
I think that if your husband knew what you were planning todo with your life before you got married todo with the job thing then he married you knowing that one day you may get the job you soo badly want.If that is the case then he is in the wrong for the mind games trying to stop you going to your dream job.I think that you have todo what you feel right and not anyone else as no matter what you do you will feel bad about what choice you make.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
18 Mar 10
Men. You know sometimes they can be so damn irritating. I would say go. This is a opportunity of a lifetime. If you miss this you wil never get this chance again. He can make of it whatever he want. 
Now it is your time. Use it wise and well.
Good Luck. TATA.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Is there no way that you could settle this without being divorced or separated? You also need to do something for yourself, to fulfil your dreams. You have to meet half way, like you coming home or meeting him once a week if that is possible. You also need a break, and this kind of work which will make you stay away from family life for a while will give you plenty of time to ponder on what you really want out of life, whether it's really worth being away from your family or not.
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I think your husband is being selfish again! He doesn't want you to get the thing that you have always dreamed for. I can't say you should leave him because you already have kids. If it can't be helped I think it's time for you to move on with your life without him.
2 people like this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I say let him leave. You are a strong woman, with a job, and you DO NOT have to put up with his games. Don't take this BS from him. He is playing your. He is just going to bring you down if he keeps acting like this. If he really loved and supported you, he would do ANYTHING to make it work out. Obviously, he doesn't care, so don't waste your time on him. You better than this. You better than what he is putting you through. If he cannot handle your job and your life choices, then that is his problem.
Honestly, what is he doing with his life? You are the one with the great job, and the income, and you are the one going places. What's he doing?
1 person likes this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
19 Mar 10
ya and he's not even working, i'm the one supporting us and this is a better job wich will help bring me up the ladder in the future.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Okay, you are CLEARLY the ONE with power in this relationship, so you have the power to leave this guy. I am sure that everyone on MyLot will agree with me on this because you have more going for you than he does and you have more ambition than he does. You need a man who is going to be supportive and who loves you no matter what. Your current husband doesn't get you, and probably never will. Again, you are so much better than this and you don't need him.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 10
I remember your other discussions about your husband. You have done really well in staying in your marriage and have tried your best to make things work. Your husband can be very unkind and thoughtless. You have a right to be happy in your life. He should be happy that you have a chance to do your dream job for six months. Maybe you should go to the job and then with some distance from your husband you will be able to think clearly. I hope that your husband will let you reach your dream. You and your husband would be able to make things better in the future. If you do split it might be the right decision for you. Only time will tell so good luck my friend.
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Wow, that again. I can't believe that now he is making you choose between your dream job and staying with him. Yeah, if he truely love you he would stick around. What is this guys deal? Craziness I tell you, seriously craziness. Continue with your dream job, if he doesn't want to stick around and wait for you that's his lost, not yours. 
Maybe you should ask him why is he making you choose between him and a job that you have always wanted. Like, tell him I thought you loved me. I mean really, let him know how you feel. I don't know, seems like he doesn't like change at all and when it comes around, he'll run away. 1 person likes this
@Louc74 (620)
•
19 Mar 10
Hiya, Poppo. I remember your last post, and thinking about how much better treatment you deserved. He kind of sounds like either a bully, or a petulant child not getting his own way. Have you tried couple counselling? He might just need a little bit of advice about realising that other people want and need things out of life as well, and he can't always have it all his own way.
I don't think you should sacrifice something just because he's changed his mind about something you've already agreed on. Changing the goalposts is really unfair - how on earth are you supposed to know where you are?
Good luck, honey. I hope you work it out for the best, whatever you decide.
1 person likes this
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
Well it seems to me that your husband is not supportive of you. I bet he knows already how much you want this job. Is he insecure of your achievements? or what you are about to achieve? 6 months is just a short time, i can't see any reason why he can let you go considering that it's your dream job. You have to make your choice. Sticking with your husband means the uncertainty and frustration he will caused you, or go and add that experience to your resume.
1 person likes this
@blummus (451)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Seriously, pop, do it. Go and do what's important to you and let him adjust or move on. You have a life and a very exciting one from what you've written, and he's putting the dampers down hard.
Cut through the confusion and do what you know is right for you. He's not.
1 person likes this
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
19 Mar 10
Yes, I agree with you. Her husband unexpected act indeed threw her into total confusion. I think she should decide her future only by which decision would be one she lives to regret, she should ask herself this important question, then she knows what to do.
1 person likes this
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
19 Mar 10
well if he is true lover and husband who really cares for you then he can wait or else if he himself is saying that i cant wait then let him go!you can wait for him he cant actually women are more stronger then men they can live alone but a man cant,so let him go!one of my friend suffered from the same problem but they were united aftern 5 years both of them waited for each other!and united
1 person likes this
@MaryO06 (2)
• South Africa
19 Mar 10
I'm sorry about your problem and I admit I don't know the whole story but it seems like he is just looking for an excuse to leave you. Is it worth staying with someone who wants to leave you every now and again? You are the most important person in your life and it's not just you you're looking after- you are teaching your child that it's ok to give up your dreams and self-worth to have a partner. He should just be clear about why he's leaving you, jealousy or because he thinks he won't be able to survive without you (which doesn't make sense).
Good luck to you, I hope it works out for the best- it usually does even if we on't know it at the time.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4709)
• Germany
18 Mar 10
Good for you! Don´t let him stop you from your dream job.
If you do, you will end up hating him for it in the end anyway.
I think I remember your converstation. If I am not mistaken, I was advizing you
to leave him???
What are you going to do know?
Good luck, wish you all the best,
1 person likes this
