Family Issue

i may not be much help, but if your ex is willing to do as told. he should go to the graduation, but not talk to your son nor make him self noticed stay long as he has to then leave. this happened last yr at function my sons school was doing. the mother did not have a good relationship with her son he had grown up with his dad, and only found out he was in the function a few days before it. she spoke to the lady oragnising it and we had to keep an eye on her if she tried anything. cause there was a parent child dance, and they was the possibilty of troube if she wanted to get to close to her son. least then he can see his son graduate and be proud. it's better than him not wanting to come at all.

if he s uncomfortable with him around then just don t invite your husband. it s his day, his graduation, for cryin out loud. let him have what he wants. don t ruin his day.

hi gerry 101 another mylotter has stolen my thunder but I really was thinking that you could please both father and son, your son should not have his graduation spoiled by having his father where he could see him. but on the other hand maybe just once you could prevail your ex to hide among the crowd and be there but not seen by your son. After all you state his father was not really there for him, so the ex should not feel he is owed any big favors now. hope this helps. good luck. God bless.

If there is no reason for your son to be uncomfortable with his father around other than him not being around then by all means, yes you should try to convince your son to let his father attend. However, if there is something more going on and a major reason that your son is uncomfortable with his father, then maybe it would be best if he does not attend. However, this is a huge milestone in your sons life and whether your husband is living with you or not, he is still your sons father. It is a big deal for him too and something that he should be a part of if at all possible.

I don't know if you should try to convince your son to let his dad attend graduation. I think you should have a discussion and let your son know that regardless of how he feels about his father now, he may feel differently later on in life. He doesn't want to regret his choice in a few years. I also think that it is important for you not to over emphasize your own opinion too much. you may have a deep dislike for the husband, but your son needs to know that the decision is his to make. You may want to talk to the father if possible and suggest that he attend the graduation but stay in the background. Your son can be told that his father was there later if he does regret his choice. I have always encouraged a relationship between my sons and their dad. When the boys have had questions, I have always told them that they should ask their dad why he wasn't there at certain times.

yes, i think you should try to talk your son into allowing his father to attend. Unless, does he have other reasons for being so uncomfortable around him? or is it just that he hasn't been around much? it is never too late to start a relationship, maybe now is the time!

Hi gerry, I would probably talk to him about why he feels uncomfortable around his dad. I might even play mediator and talk to his dad about his son's feelings. A kid's relationship with both parents is very important and if it is possible to mend whatever is wrong in it then it would be so much better. Has he not spent time with his dad for the past 4 yrs? Graduation only happens once. I know that as a parent, I would be devastated and deeply hurt if one of my girls did not want me to attend such an important ceremony. No matter how strained his relationship with his dad is does your son really really want to hurt his dad that badly? I think he would feel much better if he could face his dad and tell him why he feels the way he does.

Why convince your son of anything. You have been seperated from the man for four years. That says volumes. If the boy is that uncomfortable around him and choses not to have him at his own graduation then his wishes should be respected. Respect the boys boundaries and tell his dad that the boy doesn't want him there. His dad may at some point realize that maybe HE has done something wrong but only when people quit letting hedge his way in where he obviously isn't welcome!

for your problem you have to say to your ex-husband the true feelings of you child so that he will be discouraged.

Yes try to talk to him. I believe that your ex husband has the right to see his son graduate. I think it's what all parents want.

welif father wants to see then you can try to convince the child for some minutes he can meet his father!as it may help you to again manage the bond between you!for father sake you can do this!

whatever the reason of separation, even if you throw your husband out of the earth, he is still your son's father..You have to explain to your son that no matter what happen in his life he remains his father, explain him in a positive way that will think him and open his mind that without his father, he won't be in this world to graduate in few days from now..

This is a tough one. But your son is a young man now and I think you have to respect his wishes. It doesn't sound like his father has really been a father to him and they don't have a relationship. If there's anyone you know with a video camera could they video the parts of the graduation involving your son? Then you could let your husband watch that. Our graduations were ticket only. I'm araid if your husband stayed back in the crowd that he might later be tempted to go talk to your son.

I think that you should talk to his father to marry again for your child? But if his father dont want to marry you again,you should say him that leave his son because your son is want to live with you.

Yes, I think you should try to convince him about it. But please make sure that he doesn't have any tough argument or a reason for which he doesn't want his father to be there. I think both of you- you and your son, should have a little conversation about this. It will help you understand what he actually feels and what is it, that makes him feel uncomfortable. And maybe, during this conversation, you'll be able to explain your side and convince him. I am not sure whether he will be convinced though, because some kids are headstrong about such serious issues... I wish you Good Luck!

It's really a tough one. As I see it, since your son doesn't want to see his father, you'd better convince your husband to give up...... I know it's kinda hurt, but you know, you son is closer to you than your husband... hope it'll help

i guess that you must tell your husband about it so he will talk to your son personally of whatever issue they have. like if your son still felt bad about your broke up with your husband then at least he must know that both of you are happy with the decision. perhaps a dinner for the three of you is good, then talk a lot of things and only happy things, its like a bonding moment together, for him to feel that even though your separated theres still bonding together. thats the only way he will feel at ease with his daddy. or maybe your husband will invite your son to go out to watch movie or dine out to have bonding, communication is still best so maybe after that he will be feel at ease with his father. good luck

For me let your son that no matter what your dad want to be there in your graduation if he doesn't want just let his dad or said his that if you want to see don't let your son know about your present.

Yes try convincing your son to allow his dad to attend. Even if you haven't been living together with your husband, this must still be important for him. If in case your son really feels uncomfortable, or there is a hidden question somewhere, maybe you can arrange for the dad to see his son graduate without your son knowing. And then maybe his dad can make it up to him some way. Your husband must really love your son to want to see him graduate. There shouldn't be any reason why this wouldn't be fixed up with a good talking to! :D Hope everything works out for your son and his dad! Good luck, and congratulations on graduating to your son! :D

I think you should convince your son to accept it. because if you let him do whatever he likes, he may think it is OK not to see his father again if he doesn't want. There may be a strange feeling in his psychology when he grows up that his father doesn't love him for he never attended importante cases. You may talk with your son about responsibility. His father has responsibility to attend the garaduation, and he has responsibility to be a role of father's son, one day he will be a father, too.