KIDS..is it enough reason to stay in a battered relationship?

Look-a-here Zip, tell your friend to start doing push-up about 10-15 a day for a week, buy a bat, some lemon juice/ red pepper powder & a nice thick belt. Then, between him using her as a punching bag sessions wait until 2a.m. when she knows he's asleep and take the bat an hit him in the stomach with all her might (DON'T KILL HIM...NOT YET ANYWAY)! then when he jumps up to see what going on yell out, "Get Your Azz Outta that Bed Fool!" When opens his eyes throw the lemon juice/red pepper mixture in his eyes and take the belt an start wiping that azzhole till U don't see no more azz! Then call the police an say someone broke-in and attacked your husband. Just as the police are arriving look him in the face and say, "Tell the police one word about WHAT REALLY HAPPEN and next time it'll be Boiling Oil/Machette Salad... U hear ME?!

There are shelters available for women to go to. It is better than nothing, and they do help find housing and employment. Most importantly they provide counseling. The children are in a pickle because they witness the abuse. They may grow up like either parent. Some become abusive, some become passive. Some do break the cycle. It is not fair for the children to witness such things.

Never ever ever ever!!! Staying in a bad relationship, especially a physically abusive relationship, "for the kids" is ALWAYS wrong. An abusive person or environment WILL damage the children. If this man has no problem beating his wife, what makes you think he won't beat his children? If she doesn't have the financial means to take care of herself and her children, she should look for a battered women and children organization.

Do I think that love is present in this kind of relationship, no I really don't. I think that in addition to the fact that there are children involved in relationships like this that the other reason that people stay in these relationships is because of the fact that the person that does the abusing breaks the abusee down so much that they start to believe that it isn't possible for them to exist outside of the relationship. That is really the main reason that I think people don't leave these relationships.

Hiya zip, I cannot say I have a relationship like this and it must be very difficult for the Woman involved as to know when to get out on time of this love hate affair. Not only for the Children it is something we have not been taught how to cope with yet so I cannot blame those Women who feel stuck and don´t know which way to turn. Sometimes they might strike lucky and everyone around them will help them out. Other Women are not so lucky. Far away from their close Family and with no one to turn to it just has to desperate for them. I saw a very pretty Girl yesterday in the Shop and she has a beautiful Daughter, the Husband well I won´t mention that. What I did see on her face and she hid it quite well as she is quite dark skinned anyway was a nasty bruise on the Cheekbone. I was´nt staring at it but she thought that I might have been and struck up a conversation with me something not habitual in her. So now the feeling I had about this Man is right unfortunately. She covers the bruises with make up of some kind but yesterday you could see it clearly although I looked the other way and talked to her about something different. I just hope she has the courage to leave this Man sometime or another.

No get out if you can, It makes the children become abusers, and think it is okay if they get abused. Break the cycle I would tell her. The abuser still loves her but the abuse is not worth the love.

No, No, No - She really doesn't know how to leave him and having to leave her comfort zone. It's embarrassing and humiliating to her if family and friends found out what she is going thru but she needs to take a stand and make a move now. Maybe you can help locate a shelter that takes in abusive women with children, help her with a plan.

I would understand that some women would think that by staying in abusive relationships is better than going out alone or having to subject their children to a divorce. In fact this is a common excuse because most women don't have the courage. The abuse really damages their self-esteem and so they become afraid to face the world again. In truth staying in an abusive relationship is far more damaging for the children in the long run as they too might become the abuser's next victims. And NO, it makes no sense but without the right support network the woman will stay. All it takes is some long term support and help so that they can rebuild themselves up.

No; My ex-husband physically and mentally abused me for 14 years.... when he started doing it to my son I left...... Now my son lives with him because he is scared of him...... he does anything his dad ask of him because he knows what the consequences might bring..... I can't have him here with me because of some of the things his daddy has got him to do and say..... It is really sad to me.... the last time we did go to court I told the judge what was going on and his motion was denied..... the judge also told me he did not blame me for not having him here at my house under the circumstances..... my son is almost 18 in january 2011 so i hope that morals and values i have given over the years will kick in one day......

no no no she is not doing her kids any good either she is showing them it is ok to be abused and its not maybe she needs a close friend to help her get out or money to get out and has any one asked the kids about it being abused is scary and it harm you for life i know i lived in one for 9 years get her to some state help please please help her because if he done it once he will do it again. once a hitter always a hitter

look tell your friend to start doing push-up about 10-15 a day for a week, buy a bat, some lemon juice/ red pepper powder & a nice thick belt. Then, between him using her as a punching bag sessions wait until 2a.m. when she knows he's asleep and take the bat an hit him in the stomach with all her might (DON'T KILL HIM...NOT YET ANYWAY)! then when he jumps up to see what going on yell out, "Get Your Azz Outta that Bed Fool!" When opens his eyes throw the lemon juice/red pepper mixture in his eyes and take the belt an start wiping that azzhole till U don't see no more azz! Then call the police an say someone broke-in and attacked your husband. Just as the police are getting there look him in the face and say, "Tell the police what really one word about WHAT REALLY HAPPEN and next it'll be Boiling Oil/Machette Salad... U hear ME?!

World has changed a lot over period of time, so do our men and women. Your friend's excuse of staying with her husband for kids alone, doesn't appear wise enough. What is the surity her husband will not drive her away, retaining the children with him. If there are male children, the father would very well depend upon them for his old age sustenance. Secondly, your friend, if an educated woman, can support herself with some decent job or work by which she can bring up the children. Men beating women, torturing them etc. have disappeared long time back. But if it still remains in some part of the world means, that women folk are not confident of themselves about what they can achieve in the absence of a male member. so I don't think enough reason is there for a wife to stick on to a husband like this, nor there will be any love between them. It would be only a lust for flush, so to say.

I feel sorry for your friend.I have responed to one guy that people shouldn't divorce if they're married.but I haven't notice that there is such condition if they have no love but admonity.What should they do.My friends talked about such things if our husband hit us ,what will us do ,divorce or hit him too.what about children.It will be hard for us to bearing and rearing them alone.I haven't involve the thing like your friend but ,in my opionion,they should divorce.

For me its not a good enough reason to stay just because of her kids. Its not a good example for her kids that his husband is beating her. Because hes just jealous it doesnt necessary mean he already has the right to beat her. I think when you truly love someone you wouldnt hurt or beat the one you love. When you love someone you wouldnt like to give her/him pain and see her/him suffering.

KIDS are the BIGGEST reason to NOT stay in a battered relationship! Are you kidding?? I have a friend that I repeat this to all the time, she always says 'I stay for my kids'. Well I would NOT stay FOR MY KIDS... I would LEAVE FOR MY KIDS! Hello, if you are getting beaten, don't you think the lunatic would also not give a care if he injured or killed the kids? If he has no issue laying a hand on you, the children are NOT SAFE. Neither are you. GET OUT.

No because kids don't really understand whats going on and they get the idea that its ok for someone to do that to them or for them to do to someone else. It wasn't my only reason but I stayed with my ex because of my kids because he threatened that I would never see them again if I left him and I found later on that this is a common threat used by abusers. I'm actually lucky that I have my girls because of who he has for his family I believe he could have carried through on that. Love is never present in such a relationship as abuse is done intentionally and not out of anger as people would believe.

Love is still present in the relationship that's why she's battered. He loves her so much that he still feels jealousy towards other men she's flirting with or talking to. She shouldn't have made him feel jealous. If they have a problem they should talk.

You said husband's jealousy led him to hit her. In jealousy, too one displays an extreme cupidity, because he or she is painfully desirous of anther's advantage. Person feels jealous because he or she is unduly suspicious or fearful that his or her rival might displace him. In the type of relationship you describe the love is present in extreme volatile form.

Having kids is the best reason to LEAVE that type of relationship, maybe she doesnt realise it but those kids are affected by what is happening in the house, they could grow up constantly afraid, or thinking that its normal. My auntie was in this type of relationship with kids and it was only when she realised how much the kids were seeing that she left him, hopefully your friend will realise this soon as well.

its not easy when you stayed a life being battered seeing their mom being hurt..we should always be a good example to our kids for a better society.