Why do girls want to be friends after a breakup, whereas guys generally don't?

Okay that makes sense. Two people can't be friends if they still harbor bitter feelings toward one another. I'm glad that you are able to move on with your exes even when they have done harm to you. Good luck to you with all your relationships now and forever.

its a case to case basis I believe. women generally have two minds--we say one thing and we mean another..you can really never tell what we want. Man are more straight on their statements i guess..if they say its finished it really is. what if they get back together..well I think its because they consiously know what they are doing..second chances perhaps

Okay, that is a plausible explanation. Why is it then easier for guys to move on, as it seems that they are not as willing to be friends as girls are. So, by my interpretation of your post it seems that girls only want to be friends because it is a gradual process to getting over the guy. What about the fact that sometimes two people get back together if they are friends and start to redevelop feelings for one another?

Women do seem to have two minds at times. That's what makes them very confusing. How are men supposed to understand women if that when they say something they mean the opposite? This is might be why women and men will never truly understand one another. Second chances do occur and two people get back together. You know the saying let them if you love them and if they come back then they're yours. lol. I got that from an old Christina Aguilara song.

I'll try my best to be the first one to respond on that. :)

I agree that guys seem to have more pride than girls. Why are men more prideful than women? Is it because they are always trying to prove their worth in society and they seemingly have more to lose than women? I have no idea. I'll start a new debate topic on it. What "more" do you think you can get from an ex-girlfriend? I'm just curious in your opinion.

I see, so the guys have broken up with you and they offer/want to be friends as to not just leave you completely cold and out in the dust. That might be a viable theory as they do not also want to feel too guilt for breaking up and want to be friends because they are being nice of for their own conscience. If you break up with a guy would you want to be friends with him after the fact?

Sorry about my post.. just to unproductive.. hekhek.. ^^

Lol. I guess it is a hard question, which is why I asked it. In general I like to start discussions of hard questions or thought-provoking topics. Maybe, like what was mentioned earlier in the discussion girls are just more compassionate and are concerned about the social realm, whereas guys are more concerned with spreading their seed. I guess all we can do is speculate.

Why do you think that girls want to remember the memories and guys want to just forget about them? What about guys and girls makes them so different from one another to actually being opposites? Isn't it easier to move on if one forgets about the memories? Maybe, girls are more attached which is why they try and hold on to those memories as long as they can, thus they are happy with just being friends. Just a thought. =)

Okay I agree that is appropriate to be civil and not downright cold-hearted by cutting someone out of your life. I think that is just sad. I feel that at least maybe some time apart from your ex- so that the two individuals will get used to life without each other and be able to move on. I think the best solution after a break up is to spend at least a month apart and then after that be friends. Maybe that is being naive and too hopeful on my part but that's just how I feel. Of course one does not want exes to get in the way of future relationships. As a rule of thumb just do not invite exes to one's weddings.

Okay that is a very detailed response which makes sense. It makes sense to be civil, in other words treat them as acquaintances. I can see why one would not want to be friends with someone who caused the break up. What about the scenario where you were the one to cause the break up, because you started to have feelings for someone else. In that regard, is it really there fault? Were they not good enough? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Other than that I agree with your analysis and break down of my question. I agree with being friends if it is a mutual breakup and we were friends before, which ironically enough is the current situation I'm in.

At least now you have one plausible explanation to why men and women act the way they do. I'm glad you agree with my post. I have heard it before on some other random articles about men and women. I was just trying to translate their idea here onto Mylot. At least now we know the tendencies of both men and women in the case of breaking up we will have a more informed decision on what we are both to do if we are ever faced with the situation of a break up and its aftermath.

What do you mean by knowing your limitations? You mean once the relationship is over then that is the limit to your relationship? Lol, I'm just trying to clarify what you mean by "know your limitations." Of course everyone is different and some girls do not want to be friends and some guys do want to be friends. Maybe it all depends on who breaks up with who. The one who does the breaking up usually wants to remain friends, so as not to feel bad.

So does it all depend then on who breaks up with who? Your last sentence of a guy needing to gather his bearings around him after an embarrassment, why cannot it be the same for a girl? It is curious how you do not want to be friends with those you love. I would have thought it would have been the other way around.

Werty it was very hard to read your post, due to no punctuation. If you do know how to use punctuation, please do so for future reference as to allow easier reading. If you do not know how to use punctuation I kindly suggest that you please do so. This is no offense to you, this is just so that other Mylotters will have an easier time reading your material. Aside from that, you are saying that it is okay to sometimes talk to your ex- but for you, you usually avoid contact unless necessary. You do this because you feel no more obligation to them before? I just feel that, in reference to love relationships, how can one ignore someone completely whom they've loved before? I, at least feel that once someone loves someone then that love will always be there no matter how small. Henceforth, if one loves someone forever, it is then inhumane to cut off all communication with them.

After the guys are hurt to a point maybe that's why they don't want to be friends anymore. Guys will also try and show that they were hurt by ignoring the girl and thus not being friends with them. You feel that a girl is just trying to trick guys into thinking that the relationship can be salvaged but in reality are just leading the guys on and actually only want to be friends with them. If the relationship could actually be salvaged and both parties want it maybe being friends is a necessary step towards that direction. It is not unheard of for friends to become lovers.

Okay that makes sense that you cannot officially move on if you're friends with them because maybe there might be that inkling of opportunity or hope that you guys might get back together. What if it was the other way around and you broke up with your boyfriend and you hurt them, would you still want to be friends? You still did not explain why most guys in general do not like being friends.