Do kids really need snacks and toys in church?
By vivasuzi
@vivasuzi (4127)
United States
April 4, 2010 6:39pm CST
Church is only an hour. Growing up, we never had snacks, drinks or toys in church. Now-a-days I see parents come in with a full picnic practically as well as tons of toys to keep the kids entertained.
This just happened to me again today - on Easter no less. So the parents are spending 95% of the mass wrangling the kids. They are giving the kids the next toy to play with and then the kids drop it or throw it making all kinds of noise. Then the parents are giving the kid the next snack, drink or candy. Seriously the family behind me today was giving their kids candy, at least 2 different snacks, and drinks DURING CHURCH.
Remind you - church is only an hour. I am fine with kids maybe having one barbie, and I know they may not sit still the whole time but I see a lot of young kids who manage to sit still for 75% of it (which is pretty good if you ask me) so I see that there are a lot of kids who manage to make it 1 hour without toys, games and snacks.
Do kids really need snacks in church? Do kids really need toys in church? If you can't get your kids to sit still for 1 hour with no snacks and no toys, shouldn't you just stay home? Are parents really getting anything out of Church if they are sitting there feeding and playing with their kids the whole time?
I say teach your kids to sit semi-still for 1 hour WITHOUT snacks and toys, or don't come at all b/c you are distracting the rest of us who are actually trying to pay attention.
5 people like this
23 responses
@BL4CK_W0LF (214)
• United States
5 Apr 10
lol what, do they do this while the church service is going on? if so, thats a problem. If the church has a kitchen/separate area for kids then you can take them back for a bit. You can always discipline/chastise your child if they dont behave.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Yes they do this during church while sitting in the pews and 95% of the time - parents that have kids like that don't even think to leave and take their kids to the separate rooms the church has. The funniest thing is hearing the parents say "you need to whisper" instead of saying "you need to sit down and be quiet"
It's only an hour, some kids are spoiled I guess!
@BL4CK_W0LF (214)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Oh wow really??? Thats messed up and inappropriate. Dont let them eat during service hm. After services they can have snacks and play. If they want to talk they can wait till church is out. LOL what kids eh
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
The surprising thing is how many parents are doing this now-a-days. It's almost the norm! There are still kids I see who manage to get through church without all of these things, but a lot of parents don't seem to know how to teach their kids to have 1 hour a week of quiet time.
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
7 Apr 10
I think it really depends on the circumstance. I do feel that if nursery services are available that parents really should utilize this. At the church where I used to attend nursery services, there was an intercom type system in place so that the attendants could still hear the sermon. In some places, the services last 2-4 hours, beginning at 8 or 8:30 in the morning and not ending until noon or later. Others are very small congregations and have no nursery services. If a child can sit contently with a book and a doll or action figure than I see no problem with it if there aren't really other options are available.
What irritates me, though, is when there are no nursery services available in long sermons and others want to criticize semi noisy children but then complain when the parents hand a tot a book.
We can discipline children all we like, but honestly, we cannot FORCE them to sit still and be quiet, as they do have minds of their own. All we can do is teach them what is expected of them.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
12 Apr 10
Yes a lot of parents ignore their kids. As if they think someone else will take care of it. I know the parents are probably worn out from dealing with their crazy kid all day, but you can't just ignore them and think they will suddenly be good. Maybe they hope someone else will discipline them (which sometimes happens, but usually doesn't)
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
8 Apr 10
I can understand having a book or doll or other quiet toy as long as the kid still knows they have to sit still.
If a kid is antsy, and a parent hands them a book and then the kid just sits and reads it, I'm fine with that. I also don't even mind if the kid falls asleep! My only problem is when the parents do nothing but make the situation worse - like giving them more and more snacks, drinks, and talking loud to their kids the whole time. If a parent never even 1x says "shhhh. You have to be quiet", I wonder what the heck the parent is thinking.
If the kid is too noisy, it shouldn't take 45 minutes for the parent to decide that maybe they need to take the kid into the lobby (where there are speakers) and let the kid walk around.
Perhaps the worse thing I see a lot is parents who actually IGNORE the kid when they are being loud and noisy. I've seen the parent just sit there and pray while their kid runs up and down the isle, talking to everyone, and the parent doesn't even LOOK at the kid. That's a little nuts.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
11 Apr 10
In most Maltese Catholic Churches there are crying rooms for young children and parents so that they won't distract other parishioners. I don't see anything wrong with parents taking young children with them to participate in mass. We all know that the children's attention is limited and sometimes even us get bored during the one hour mass so I don't blame parents for taking some games or toys to keep the children quiet.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
12 Apr 10
They might feel its their duty. The best thing is not to judge others. I was lucky to have a quiet child. I used to frown at others who had noisy children. Jesus said let all children come unto me. so I am sure he would consider children's playing and blabbing as if they were praise coming from grown ups.... That's why I am in favour of having a crying room for toddlers and babies so they dont distract others
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
11 Apr 10
I can see giving them a mint or a jelly bean, but that is as far as it goes. And if they want a toy to play with, they can 'pretend' to read the hymn book or read the church service paper. There is no need for lots of toys and no need for drinks. if they have to have a bottle, we have a nursery downstairs.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
12 Apr 10
Yeah I can see slipping them a small piece of candy but only if they are good for the majority of the service. In this case, at Easter, it seemed the parents were feeding the kids just to keep them from running even more wild then they already were.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Apr 10
That is a shame. Most of the time when the children misbehave, one of the parents take them out, or take them down to the nursery as it is obvious they were not old enough to sit still during the service. Of course, most of the time, the children get tired and fall asleep but once in a while, one of the children starts bawling.
So you have to put up with that. But to give them candy no way. That makes it worse.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I agree w/u 100%. Kids should be made to mind, period. I was never given a snack in church not did i take a toy w/me. Kids are catered to way too much nowadays. They need to be made to mind wherever they are!! I love children but don't like unruly ones. The sad part it's not the child's fault , it's the parents for not making them behave.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Yes they are catered too :) I cannot imagine my mom bringing a whole bag full of toys and snacks for me for church. It just simply wouldn't happen. If we were bored, we had a religious book to flip through or the song book, that was about it.
It really isn't the child's fault, you are right. They are being taught that they don't have to sit still in church and therefore I dread what they will be like when they are older. Hopefully once they go to school their teachers will get them into shape.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
6 Apr 10
My parents would have never catered to me like that & i'm glad they didn't. I would have probably got thumped on the head for misbehaving. I think the parents need thumped on the head & sent to school themselves.
1 person likes this
@lady1993 (27224)
• Philippines
6 Apr 10
My parents didn't bring me and my sister to Church when we were little because we were noisy and always wanted to play or eat. I think it is not advisable to bring kids to churches if they would just play and eat there because they might disturb other people. :D
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
6 Apr 10
I agree with you. Younger kids should not come. Now once you hit 4-5 I think it's good to come b/c you have to learn how to sit still at some point. But I still would say no toys and snacks, and if the kids act up the parent should take the kid outside and tell him he's gotta shush and be good.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
5 Apr 10
When I was a child (long ago!), we went to church and we sat still during the entire service. Children can do things like that, and it doesn't hurt them one bit. I think some parents don't know how to be parents, but let the kids decide too much. A little discipline never hurt anyone.
What will the kids do when they start school? But I guess schools allow kids to do whatever they want any more, too.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Yes children can sit still! I guess a lot of parents now-a-days don't have any faith in their kids. They also don't want their kids to be upset so they give in to them a lot, like you said, the kids are running the show.
It depends what school you go to. I went to a catholic school and we had to go to church as a class on Fridays. The teachers didn't let us get away with anything, but it's probably harder now that so many kids are spoiled with toys and candy.
Thanks for commenting :)
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
6 Apr 10
doesnt your church have some sort of kids program during church? our church actually has sunday school during church but this only started this year. previous years, we had junior church (grade 1-5) and for the younger ones they had a children's church.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
6 Apr 10
When I was growing up, it did have a Sunday school. Now I don't have kids so I don't know if they do. I imagine they still might, but I am not sure. Even so, we didn't go to that until we were 4-5. Before 4, my parents took turns going to church so that one of them could be at home with us instead of taking us. They knew we wouldn't sit still when we were 2, so they simply didn't bring us. I wish others would follow suit.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Hi, vivasuzi. I agree with you on this one. Kids should not be given snacks in church. Nor many toys to play with either. At the church that I go to, we have a Children's Church. The kids will go there and play and read. They have teachers in the rooms for this. They don't have to be in service if they are not a child that can be quiet or stay still. I have never let my kids go, but I wanted to. I did not want them to make noise while we were in service. I don't give my kids snacks. But, I would feed my infant baby milk formula when he/she was hungry. I think that it is very disruptive when kids are eating and making noise with toys, especially when they are not a baby.
1 person likes this
@missliss08 (766)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Church is way more tolerant than when I was a kid. However, when I was a kid, we went to childrens church, not the adult church. Why churches stopped doing this I have no idea. The church my family attends now they have childrens church at like 8 AM, and then adult church starts at ten. It is so dumb, and a lot of this hassle could be avoided if they just had the children in another room doing childrens church things, and the adults doing theirs. My children are not allowed to have toys, and or food in church. If you can't sit, and be quiet for an hour then they can not go to church. That is my rule.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Our church actually never had a children's church, but we did have Sunday school. However I didn't always go to Sunday school and growing up I remember plenty of times when I was at church with my mom and had to sit still and be quiet. She even made sure to separate me and my sister so we didn't play around.
I did go to a Children's Church once when I was at a sleepover with a friend and her church had this. Honestly I found myself less likely to pay attention b/c it was boring.
It sounds like you are one of the good parents that knows how to teach your kids to respect what church is about. I wish we weren't all so scared to tell these other parents "excuse me, could you please be quiet" when they are sitting there having conversations with their kids! Now-a-days everyone is so worried about offending anyone else that they keep their mouth shut and just give dirty looks.
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
7 Apr 10
They don't need all of that, and I honestly don't know why on Earth this practice started in the first place. I was not entertained in Church when I was a child. The only time I got something to drink or eat was when I was a baby. Same with my sister. You have to feed a baby when they are hungry, but a toddler should have breakfast already and not need snacks for an hour or so.
How are they going to learn to be disciplined for other things they need to sit still for, such as school? It is not cruel to expect your child to sit quietly during the service. They may learn something from the service if they are not allowed to roam all over the place or have toys or snacks or whatever. In my opinion, it appears discipline is lacking in society, as people are not brought up to contain themselves and taught there is a place and time for things.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
8 Apr 10
I don't know why it started either. I think kids snack too much in general and a lot of parents are using snacks to keep their kids "entertained" or happy during mass or other events. Rather than feeding the kids, they should be teaching them the value of church and sitting still.
No wonder so many teachers I know complain about their wild students! The kids aren't learning to sit still for 1 hour in church, how can they sit still for 6 hours in school?
A time and place for everything is correct :) Luckily some people still know how to raise their kids this way!
@fallingfan (445)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Sure, I think that these children should have been raised better to be able to sit for an hour in church, but there are some who take it to the extreme and are very strict with their children in church. I think that it is okay for young children to have a snack and some toys in church if it helps to keep them quiet and happy.
Remember, Jesus loves the little children and He said "let the little children come to Me". :)
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Yeah I think it's ok if a child acts up a few times in church, they all do it, and that's OK as long as the parent reacts and says "shh. Please sit down". But some parents say "here's another snack, here's another toy". And these parents at Easter kept saying "you have to whisper" instead of saying "you have to be quiet".
I would say 1 toy (a doll or a book) is fine, and even some cheerios for real young kids. But breaking out the drinks and snacks and candy was a little much.
@greyz7 (859)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
hi,
i don't think kids really need to have snacks and toys inside the church. because it is so distracting. kids should a a good meal before going to church and toys should no be brought along with them..and better not to bring kids that are still young because os short attention span,,they easily get bored.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Yep they should eat a good breakfast before going and that will be enough. I agree that kids shouldn't even come if they are under 2 or 3 b/c they are so young they don't even know what is going on. Even so, I have seen kids that age that know how to sit still for an hour so it's all a matter of teaching them about quiet time.
@babing20 (48)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
i am a catholic but i don't practice it (particularly attending mass and such, please don't take it negatively). though it is good to make kids aware with the good teachings of the church, i am strongly against bring food and toys during the church hour. aside from the distraction it creates, it also creates a negative impact on kids that they could play and eat during the sacred hour.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
No judgement here, we don't go consistently every week anymore but we do try to go most weeks. I agree, it is like you are telling the kids "you don't have to pay any attention to this, we just have to sit here and play for an hour." It doesn't make sense to me.
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
• Craig, Alaska
5 Apr 10
no I say kids should have a book or paper and pencils or crayons to draw with and that's it. My son don't bring toys to our religious gathering.
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Sounds to me the children rule in the family that was behind you. It's too bad so many parents have given their parental rights to their children.
Does your church have a nursery? The church I attend has a nursery and children's church.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
The thing is, I see this happening more and more lately. Maybe some parents saw other kids have snacks so they started bringing snacks for their kids. Today at Easter Mass was perhaps the worst I've ever experienced, but I have seen plenty of kids with food in church.
We don't have a nursery (a lot of people complained when they got rid of that separate room), but we do have a really big entrance area with benches and speakers so parents can take their kids out there and still hear the mass. A few parents do this, but many parents don't. It's insane. I couldn't imagine sitting there while my kid eats and drinks. I'd be so embarrassed to be like these parents!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
5 Apr 10
awh my gosh, that is too inappropriate indeed...the same thing is happening here in the mosques..the mosque in campus is really driving us feeling awkward because of the noise the children do, and their parents never punish them or anything..they would just leave them on their own to do whatsoever they want!!
in regard to the church, why don't they just feed them before the opening hour so, they will not feel hungry during that hour..my gosh, it is just one hour and no more nor less ...
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
I'm so glad to hear others say it is inappropriate b/c I see so many parents doing it and was starting to think I missed the memo that said "bring snacks to church".
It is awkward and you feel like you can't do anything about it except maybe give a look or act distracted everytime the kid makes a noise. However I've noticed many parents don't get the hint and just apologize for their kids.
I don't think the kids are hungry during church, I think the parents are bringing snacks to try to keep the kid occupied for 10 minutes here and there. I think these parents are so worried that their kids will act up that they end up bringing all this food and toys to entertain them. AND that means the parents end up not paying attention to church at all.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
5 Apr 10
That would depend on the church and how long services are. When I was a kid we got 2 cookies each and a cup of apple juice. The services at the church I go to is suppose to last about 2 1/2 hours but we've ended up staying there for much longer when ever the preacher invites a guest speaker. They don't give snacks though and there are already plenty of toys provided by the church.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Wow that is a long service. Ours is only an hour and most of the time it ends at 45minutes so it's really not long at all. I can see why you might need snacks and toys if you are there for over 2 hours. But for our church, I don't think it is needed.
@magtibaygom (4858)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
I also question that. Maybe the reason why some parents do that is because, kids are easily bored. And when they become bored inside the church, they begin to make noise and behave abnormally. To avoid that from happening, and to maintain the solemness of the church service, some parents bribe their kids, they put something in their mouth so kids can no longer make noise! :)
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Yeah but the kids I've been around make more noise. They see toys and think it's play time, they see snacks and think it's lunch time. While 1 snack may keep some kids quiet for an hour, other kids are getting the snacks without being asked to sit still. THey are just giving them to them.
Now if they would say "sit still in church and be quiet and you can have these cheerios", I'd be all for that, as long as they enforce the rule and take the snack away when the child acts up. But these parents I was around on Easter never once told the kids to sit still. I got my hair pulled a few times by the girl running back and forth and bumping my chair. I don't think I heard a word the priest said but I heard everything happening behind me - including the fact that the little girl farted a few times and screamed "I Farted!"
@apple041 (12)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
I don't think kids need to have snacks and toys in church, but if it will help them to keep still and wait until the service is done, then i don't see any problem with it as well, it only take a matter of discipline i think. Like for example, if they really can't keep on sitting, and listen to the sermon, give them the snacks but before giving it to them make them agree that they will avoid to make a scene or disturb someone. You cannot keep a child in one place they will always look for something to do. If your church doesn't have a kids room in where they can understand better their faith. Then i'm not seeing any problem bring stuff that can make them occupied and not to wander all over the church for an hour or so.(children will never listen to sermon, i think they will understand it either even if they will listen.)
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Well it seems to be the opposite - the snacks and toys actually have them running around MORE. They are begging for another cookie, or they are dropping their toys and having to go after them. Or worse yet they throw the toys. With snacks and toys, they think it is play time!
It's not so much about listening to the sermon, it's about teaching the kids to sit still for 1 hour (it's only an hour, most the time it's closer to 45 minutes!). I do see kids that manage to sit still for the hour, and yeah they might act up once or twice, but good parents get them to shush and sit still for the majority of the mass.
