I'm UNCOMFORTABLE hanging-out with my friends with their lovers

well i think you are just taking time to adjust as they are new people in your group?? or do the couple get very cozy together which might make you feel uneasy!??

Hi gambamarcela, I think most of us would feel the same thing especially when it is only three of us there and we did not really know about our friend boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a bit awkward situation. It might less stress when we knew the guy or girl with our friends and we had some common things that we can share. But when that was the first time we meet him or her, we would feel uncomfortable. He or she is stranger for us and unless we are a talkative person, it would make us just sit there in silent. It would be a little bit an ease if he or she talk to us first and try to make us join their conversation.

Hi, friend. Don't bother with it too much because you're not alone in feeling that way. I always feel very uncomfortable hanging out with my friends with their lovers around. The idea that they may want to flirt keeps bothering me, even though they don't really have such an intention. I just feel i'm hindering them. That's why i seldom hang out with my friends with their boyfriends around.

I also feel the way feel it because it feels like you don't belong to the group. its better to go alone than to have your friends with their lovers. every time my friends asking me to go somewhere else ill always asking them first if their boyfriends are going with them also. you will be out of place always because you feel that you cannot relate on their conversation.

Hi gambamarcela, don't feel weird about it, it isn't. I would be in that situation i would not know how to react either lol. If i have my friends around me with their girlfriends, i would try not to make things awkward by being totally silent, just try to be friendly with all of them, total silence would make things awkward too so talk something, try to, i would i guess talk a little with girl friends so that they don't feel as though i am keeping them out of the equation, talk to them just to let them know i am comfortable with her being around with my friend when i am there, so try to talk to them a little, they would feel much more comfortable, they could make good friends too, just think fast but say slow, talk about anything humorous, it could be a cool thing but yeah we can't always hang with our friends with their girlfriends or boyfriends, have a good day.

same here i feel very very uncomfortable not coz of insecurity but how can you enjoy your friends company if they arent even there .. what i mean is that ..they are physically present but their minds are too focus with their lovers that they hardly notice me. It's like a wake up call that I shouldnt be there. That's why when friends invite me to go out i would ask first if they going to bring their boyfriends coz if they do then i make some excuses not to go :P

Hello Miss... From your post it sounds as if you are too young and probably you have never been in a relationship, which is why, you feel it that way... I used to feel the same, when I was single (never been committed!). It was before 5 years or so... After that I have been into a serious relation and many other relations. I can definitely sense the unease of a bacholer or a spinster, when they are around. It isn't unnatural... The thing is that that you have never experieneced it earlier, that is why, you feel awkward... There is nothing wrong with that, if you maintain your personality and grace, even in such tough situations... Have a nice time!

Yeah, as far as I am concerned, I think I am a little like you.just have the same feeling with you that I may feel not confortable to hang out with their lovers.Maybe there is some jealous in my mind.

Well, same feeling and experience here.It's really terrible memory to hang-out with friends and their lovers.What;s worse,I go though this again and again. Actually,I don't want to each time but I just feel so difficult to refuse . Sometimes it because I don't know the guy is her lover.Maybe I look dumb so that they like to bully me.

Your uneasy maybe because you feel that you don't belong to their group. Yes they are your friends but they are committed to their boyfriends. Maybe you're just uneasy because your friends attention is for someone not you. Sometimes I feel the same way too. I don't hang around with my friends if their loves is around.

Hello, Gambamarcela. I'm afraid I share the same situation and experience with you, and I think it is normal for many of us to come across such situations. Haha... I have a best friend who aparted from me since our graduation from university, and she really loves to take along with her boyfriend to our annual meeting. And I am still single, so we three people always sit there and do have nothing to say but leave they two have their flirting. LOL, extremely awkward atmosphere. Have nice time.

Yes I feel the same way, I think it's okay if both of them is your friend but sometimes you will feel awkward and can't think of anything to discuss. I think we are not use to it if we see them flirting and we can't barge in to their topic.

it's really an awkward situation specially when it's just you alone together with your friend and lover for an hour or so. good if it's just around 5 minutes but if it's going to take longer than that then i don't think i can stand it.

I think many people may have this problem. So am I. Dont worry too much about it. You can try to make friends with your friends' lover. Also you should make a boyfriend. That will be much better to play together by couples.

hi gambamarcela I think it is probably because you are sort of the odd man out, as the others have their lovers with them, and you feel like'you are all alone without that significant other with you. Hon its not your fault you do not have a boy friend yet. so try to be yourself and see if they do still not welcome you.,If you want to be included just be a bit pushy and say, hey just cause I do not have a boy friend doesnt mean you are not my friends does it? well does it?see what they all say. I bet they didn't know you felt like that.

I don't think you are that unusual. Be kind to yourself. If they are hugging all over each other and being affectionate and you are just you, it can be awkward. If they are not doing that then it may be that you are feeling left out as far as having a boyfriend. Remind yourself that you are wonderful and who knows maybe one to them will set you up with someone great! You can also learn alot about what kind of a boyfriend you want for yourself by chatting with them and seeing how they treat your girl friends. And it's very very different hanging out with non straight males than straight ones if you are straight. Some guys are almost like a combination of guy and girlfriend if you know what I mean. They can be an escort to a party if need be or help you pick out an outfit and do your makeup. Now if you went out with 2 or 3 of your couple friends and it was just you, then you would feel left out. That's normal since you are not paired up. In those cases, maybe have a guy friend come along as just a friend if that might help. And be sure to set up some time for just the girls to get together too. Take care!

I know what you mean. Its not that I am against it but sometimes its better to go out with only your friends and ask the partners to have their own gathering when they can. Its always fun being with friends and there are so much to talk and sometimes if their partners are there, you become conscious about what you are saying or what's even worst is that the couples are going to have their own conversation and get cuddly with each other. lol

Who isn't? I mean really, why do friends bring their lovers around, and make you watch how they hug and kiss, especially when you are single, that can be very hard. You can't blame them for that, after all but they shouldn't do this all the time and they should at least think about your situation and how this makes you feel. But you know, when someone is in love the relationship always tends to come first, while friends second...

Definently! When I'm talking to a friend about something I feel so relaxed. Then all of sudden his girlfriend comes up to us my mind goes blank. I don't know whether to continue our chat or not. Then he starts talking to her then my mouth shuts and my mind goes blank. Finally, I just walk away and say my goodbyes and tell him "talk to you later."

Hahah, I do feel the same...it just feels like you're sitting there...in the way. It's annoying, unless you have your "lover" with you as well, else it just feels like you don't belong and shouldn't be there.