back yard psychology
building relationships
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How open are you?
By Chysom Scott
@CJscott (4187)
Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
April 12, 2010 12:33am CST
So, I was sitting here thinking just a few minutes ago, I share my whole life with the people closest to me, and 99% of my life, I would share with a stranger I met but a moment ago.
I am a young man, full of experiences, both mine, and many others, and I am more then willing to share, experiences, insights, revelations, opinion, thoughts, believes and more with anyone, and everyone who is willing to take the time to ask.
So, from that, I would consider myself a very open person. If you are familiar with my colors personality training, I am not open in that way. You have to ask, I would not just share, and then give and give you the information. You have to dig, to truly want to know, in that way I am very self contained.
So, my question to you of course, is how open do you consider yourself to be? If I ask you do you have any children do you think? Yes, two daughters, or Yes, Samantha, who is a sophomore on the varsity volleyball team and an honor student, and Tricia, who just got into Harvard law school, or Why do you want to know that, or that is none of your business? Or no, I don't have any children. This of course is just an example. But, I would like to know, how willing are you to share all of your life's experiences with anybody?
With appreciation.
2 people like this
17 responses
@Dumpertaker (1187)
•
21 Apr 10
I am pretty much open about me, my life, what I do and what I have done.
I think that being open and honest is something very important, and people know me and there is nothing I am hiding, I don't see the point, I have done bad things in the past, but I can share these experiences with other people to stop them from doing what I did or if they have done something bad, I can show them how they can deal with that.
As for do I have kids? Well the son and daughter of a very good friend "adopted" me as their father figure so I kinda do yes.
1 person likes this
@Dumpertaker (1187)
•
21 Apr 10
I'm medically retired, have been so for almost 9 years, due to depression and knee back and shoulder injuries.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
21 Apr 10
What did you do before you were retired?
Some serious injuries to retire you, sounds like there may or may not be a story.
With Appreciation.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
21 Apr 10
Okay, cool.
I also believe it is very important to be open and honest, and yet, I am not that open of a person, until I get to know you way better. I find that about half the people are open, and the other half are self contained.
It is interesting to try to learn about people, you have demonstrated you are open, in your answer to the children question, so I must ask, What is it that you do for a living?
With Appreciation.
@julier05 (26)
• United States
13 Apr 10
I am open minded as far as not making judgments on how others lead their lives and expect the same in return. But if you were to come up to me and start talking to me I would be extremely shy at first. I do not open up personally until I get to know someone. Which in of itself makes it hard to meet people. But once I do get to know people I will joke around and tell them about me and my life. Will I go into all my deep dark past? Probably not. Heck one of my best friends, whom I have known since college (which was a while ago :) ) just found out something about me she had not known. And as far as your example no, I don't have children and unless whatever divinity, if you believe in one, you believe in intercedes I most likely won't.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
14 Apr 10
I think I may have made a grievous error, putting this in the open minded section. I was not curious as to how open minded people were, but how open they were.
So, if I were to ask you a question, you are saying, you would answer, as shortly and with as few extra informations as possible?
Children was just an example, as for divine intervention, it has happened before, and with faith, it could happen again. And it was just an example. Another would be, What do you do professionally?
And I think, you are more open with strangers then you think you are, because you said, unless there is intervention, it won't happen, whereas if you were more self Contained, you would have just said no, and the rest wouldn't be anyone else's business.
With Appreciation.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
18 Apr 10
I figured the children thing was due to medical complications. It made me think of the how Isaac, Abraham's son in the Bible came to be. That is where it has happened before came from.
What did you enjoy most about being an educator to the deaf?
I completely relate to it being easier to open up in cyberspace. And the questions delve into personalities, that is what I am curious about, peoples main personality types, I maybe used the wrong example.
It is interesting to me, the way different people focus on different parts of the questions, maybe I should stop asking so many questions in one post.
With Appreciation.
@julier05 (26)
• United States
15 Apr 10
Ahh, but to me that is a simple medical statement of fact. It really does not delve into my personality or anything like that, that is why I would be willing to say that about the Divine intervention. As far as my work I used to work with the Deaf community both as an Educator and then in a Social Service agency. But I am no longer working due to other medical conditions. And for me it is easier to talk on here (cyberspace) because the likelihood of meeting you is next to nil. But when I am in the same room with people that is a whole different matter. I guess you could say I would be the perfect example of a wallflower, until someone draws me out and gets me comfortable to talk. I hope that answers your question better.
1 person likes this
@Auntiescarf (842)
•
12 Apr 10
Im quite open with people I know, and the same with people online that I dont know, if I was posting under my real name and you could see my full address then I wouldnt be so open, as you have to worry these days about what people can do with your information. But posting under a made up name I am more than happy to share most things with you, I wont however give names of relatives or but I will give some information about my life. When it comes to others that I just bump into then I will talk to anyone, I will be careful about what i reveal but Im happy to sit there and chat to anyone!
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
And I am sure you just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. Always the center of attention, stylish in every sense of the word, always having fun, and just a natural promoter?
I may be wrong I frequently am. Let us examine the facts. But that is for another day, What is the best thing that has happened to you in the past week and what makes that special for you?
With appreciation.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
18 Apr 10
I usually avoid blanket statements, such as in every sense. I am sure you are, maybe not to yourself, and that is just my opinion.
I am surprised, that you don't like it when people listen to you talk.
Winning things is great, thanks for stopping by and participating in my game, I appreciate you for it.
@Auntiescarf (842)
•
18 Apr 10
Best thing that happened to me in the past week? Well its been a pretty uneventful week but I went through some lottery tickets for the past few weeks and found out that I won £5! That put me in a good mood. I also won a free pen in a raffle! So its been a week of winning things lol!
Your slightly wrong, I do talk and talk and talk, and if Im nervous I will talk even more, and I do try to always have fun, not at all stylish in every sense of the word, and actually prefer not being centre of attention. But you were right about the amount I talk! So 50% Not bad for a first guess!
1 person likes this
@goblin118 (22)
• China
12 Apr 10
My principle is never tell others all your things ,even she/he is your best friend,every body should have some secret.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
Secrets do seem to be important to a lot of us. But, what about things that are not your secrets.
What do you do professionally? What do you like most about that? What are your biggest struggles in your work?
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
18 Apr 10
You share more then I do sometimes miss. I can understand that you don't want people to take advantage of you, by knowing your secrets.
With Appreciation.
@goblin118 (22)
• China
15 Apr 10
I don't like share my secrets with others very much,but sometimes i really really need to tell to another person.Whenever this time ,i choose the things which no important to tell to another.
If the things are not my secrets,i will not take more care about it,i think i really is a selffish girl.The things i share with my friends or others are all the things are not important for me.I just share the most important things with my bset friend.
1 person likes this
@charylady (419)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
i am a very private person and am inclined to keep people at a distance. myLot is my first social networking group (i just joined a few minutes ago) and this is my first response to a discussion. i am way out of my comfort zone doing this but i guess it's a first step.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
I noticed it was your first post and I am honored to have the privilege. I hope you find the answers to the questions that dwell deep with in your mind during your stay.
I heard once, that we never grow when we are content. May be a new way to look at it.
Do you like to answer questions with questions, I bet you do, and also to have as much information as you can gather, before making a decision. Just a guess, let me know how accurate I am.
With Appreciation.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
18 Apr 10
I understand, that is most like I am.
What do you do for money other then MyLot?
@charylady (419)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
not so much answering questions with questions but i do need to have lots of info before making a decision. i'm cautious and have a tendency to over-think things altho occasionally i surprise myself and act spontaneously/impulsively.
1 person likes this
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
22 Nov 10
i'm very open minded, sometimes i spend years studying something that has nothing to do with career or jobs, just out of curiosity, that could be science or paranormal
i don't dismiss anything without studying it first and also don't accept
people like us like to learn alternative therapies and stuff like that, it's really intersting
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
22 Nov 10
How much of what you learn do you share willingly, and with little encouragement to do so?
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@AndrewFreyne (6281)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 10
I'm quite an open minded person myself although I have to admit that I am reluctant to disclose personal details about my life to total strangers. I think that a huge amount of trust needs to be established first. I know that it may sound like paranoia but you just don't know whether others will share information about you and your personal life! This could well happen and so I'm very cautious when it comes to disclosing anything about my life. However, if I do have a tremendous amount of trust possibly with close friends and so forth then it's highly likely that I will share information about myself and be quite open about it. Andrew
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
Have you ever met someone in an elevator for the first time, and by the time you got the 5th floor, you knew the name of the their grandmothers therapist? That is the kind of "open" to which I was referring.
Open minded has many connotations, just as, Are you married to your job or are you open minded? Or, this is my twin sister, are you open minded? So, it can be taken different ways, and quite obviously, so can "open"
I understand the discomfort behind telling others about our personal lives I am the same way.
What is it you do professionally? And, do you keep your business options open.
With Appreciation.
@sumanadep (1228)
• India
12 Apr 10
I am not at all a person who will open up in front of new people... I would there are very few people who know me well and even fewer who know me completely..
I keep keep my secret to myself...
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
Interesting. Of course we should keep our secrets to ourselves. It is good to have a few real good friends, then a lot of fake wanna be friends.
Let your relationships grow, nice and slow. I bet you speak soft and polite, are well organized, a good planner, and are probably in engineering.
With appreciation.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Apr 10
It really depends on to whom I am talking. Overall, I would say that I am a pretty open person though.
For example, in answering the question that you listed above concerning children, I would answer like this: Yes, I have two children. My oldest is Kathryn, who is seven years old and in the first grade. My youngest is Paul, who is three and very honory. I am willing to share about experiences that I've faced in my life as well.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
14 Apr 10
I would have to agree with your being open. From what I can tell of you, I have decided a long time ago that you were Open, and Indirect, it now seems that you may be more Direct then I thought.
I like to bring my trainings here to mylot, to see the kinds of responses I get from people, it seems to help me better assimilate my information.
With Appreciation.
@jiraiyasanin (642)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
well for me i will just share my personal info to my friend close to me, i will never share my story to somebody whom i didn't know, why should i do such thing i can't guarantee that he/she is a good person, and also for security purposes i will never share my life story and personal info to stranger
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
This seems to be the theme today. People are unsure of the trust of others.
Thanks for your interest.
@caliya (1169)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
i am pretty open to people that are really close to me but sometimes you tend to hold back on sensitive matters since it's really hard to give your full trust to anyone. if then person seems to be open to me then i will also reciprocate by being open.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
That is awesome.
I have a lot of trouble giving my full trust even to me, and if I can not trust myself how can I trust another.
It is nice that you return the favor of openness. Do you tend to use short vague answers, or long specific, and slightly off topic answers?
@forteafuture (105)
• China
12 Apr 10
Most of the time,I am open.I shared 99% of my experience with my friends.But I would tell different people about my different experience.I am a simple girl and I want to be a simple.But I still have a lot of experience that nobody knows even my parent and my boyfriend.I do not want to tell anybody,I want to forget them,they hurt me.So some things I will keep them in my heart.They will be my secrets in my whole life.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
There are events in my life that I would sooner forget as well. I am glad you are so open, and I would be just as glad if you were more self contained.
There are many experiences to share to ourselves, and many that we should share. Would it be okay if you shared what you do professionally?
@farashadine (29)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
Yes I am an open person, but with those people whom I've know for so long. And for those whom I can share my life with, like my parents, my friends, my bestfriends and my someone special. All of us have the right to decide what we want to do with our life, we can open to everyone, and we can keep ourself or own identity for a secret. If I have a daughter? Don't have yet, hopefully next year. I can share my life, but not all about my life, have to keep a little secret for myself.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
This is most understandable.
You are right, we are free to decide. Some of us, offer more with out thinking any of it, and others you have to ask and ask, to get even a little bit of information from.
Everyone needs their secrets. I understand this as well. I appreciate you responding.
@latexfreak (117)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
It's depends the topic to discuss, if more sensitive that time I am not open to share with.
1 person likes this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
9 Dec 10
Hello CJ.
I was reading yesterday on your most recent topic, about ideas but failed to come up with a response so i turned my attention to this one for the moment.
I would lie if i would say i am 99% open regarding all my life and all things i have done in it, but a percentage over 80, up to 95% would reflect the measure in which i am ready to share my knowledge with others. This may be higher with closer friends and family of course an under 80% with people that don't like me - yes, i am sure those exist as well.
I as well am open to questions of course and will be gladly to give an answer even if this may turn out to be something you did not expect :)
with appreciation,
Alex.
1 person likes this
@Beautyfactor (1512)
•
12 Apr 10
I am not a very open person at all. I'm one of those who keeps herself to herself. Infact I very rarely confide in anyone, not even my own mother or sister. So, you are asking me if I have any children and I would simply say 'yes I do' and it probably wouldn't go any futher than that.
The better I get to know someone the more I am likely to share but I doubt if anyone would ever be able to get down to the real nitty gritty stuff going on in my life.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
13 Apr 10
Awesome, this may be random, but I would like to try a neat thing I am learning.
Do you speak soft and politely? Do you need as much information as you can gather before you make a decision? Do you dress conservatively?
I imagine if you respond at all you would prefer to use short answers.
With appreciation.
@vidhi169 (108)
• India
24 Jan 12
Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Personality is generally defined as feeling and behavior. I will suggest you to join personality development classes. These classes are helpful for you to build up your personality.
http://www.personalitydevelopmentcourses.in
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
10 Feb 12
I will check it out, I understand how a person can change their behaviours, but I don't think it will help out to much on how we are naturally wired towards certain things, such as they way we dress, and what we find fun.
It would probably greatly help with interacting with others though, thank you.
