Boys in the womens' restroom - would you complain??
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
April 16, 2010 6:21pm CST
I don't have a little boy, but I can certainly understand this dilemma. A friend of a friend recently had a very uncomfortable run-in with a... person who had an issue with the fact that her 8 year old son was standing inside the door of a womens' public restroom. Now she has four children, the rest of them are girls, and the rest of them are younger than her son. This was a public restroom, not someone's home, she was alone with the kids so there was no 'friend' or 'spouse' or other person she knew that could stand with her son outside.
Would you - in good conscience - in the town you live in, in stores you shop in - leave your 8 year old son or daughter outside a restroom alone while you were helping 3 other children plus yourself go to the bathroom?
If you were an adult who saw a child in the opposite gender restroom, would you figure they were WITH their parent and the parent wanted them in there for a reason and not CONFRONT the parent or try to make them uncomfortable, or worse, make the child feel uncomfortable?
I can tell you FOR SURE that I think my husband would take our six year old daughter in the restroom with him and just tell her to use a stall.... if they were not with me - or if there was a family restroom available where it was just one bathroom with a door that locks he'd have her use that and stand outside.
I don't know why this woman had a fit - she was an old lady I guess, but 8 year olds are not old enough to stay home alone and they still need to be legally supervised. Kids get kidnapped and lured away from parents in public places, especially if they get separated from their parents, accidentally or on purpose. Don't you think it was wise of the parent to want her son near her? What would you do if it were your kid?
6 people like this
24 responses
@phyrre (2317)
• United States
17 Apr 10
I would've done the same thing. I wouldn't want to leave my child outside at that age. 10 maybe, but not 8. There's way too many things that could happen to them at that point and it would be super easy to lure them away if someone were to try to kidnap them. Besides, a boy in the ladies' room isn't really that strange. As long as he's not peaking under the stalls or anything he won't be seeing anything so it's not really any different from another girl standing in the ladies' room, so there's really nothing harmful. Besides, obviously he would be in there with his parent. Not many 8 year old boys randomly think it's cool to stand in the ladies' room. xD
I think it would be a little weirder having a girl in the men's room, though. As someone else mentioned, if a man uses the urinal then the little girl would be able to possibly see "stuff" and that's not really appropriate for a little girl either. It's a tough decision as you really don't want to leave her outside, but her father should go in and check first that no other men are using the urinal and then bring her into a stall to avoid that stuff.
3 people like this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
18 Apr 10
My husband takes my youngest daughter to the bathroom sometimes, and he obviously can't take her into the ladies' room. There has never been a problem with him taking her into the mens' room, but he does use the "family restrooms" when they are available. I don't think that the little girl would really be able to see anything anyway, but you are right that certain situations might not be appropriate. On the other hand, it could be more dangerous to just leave the child alone or let him or her go into the bathroom themselves than to take them into the opposite restroom with you. I would be more worried about sending my eight year old son into the mens' room by himself than I would seeing an eight year old boy in the ladies' room or vice versa.
2 people like this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
17 Apr 10
I dont see any problem with that. I see it all of the time. Obviously if your son is 16 he should wait outside 
but young kids should stay with their parents. If the option to take the boy to the mens room is not there, then he should go to the ladies room. For crying out loud, there are doors on the stalls.
but young kids should stay with their parents. If the option to take the boy to the mens room is not there, then he should go to the ladies room. For crying out loud, there are doors on the stalls. 
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
19 Apr 10
I know! The little boy didn't see anything! When I have my friends' boys, they come in the restroom with me, they are 4 and 8. Now if I am somewhere with one of the older one's friends, then he and friend can go in the mens' room. Of course *I* myself have no issue with sticking my head in the mens' room if someone's kid is in there and has been in there too long.... I'd even use a mens' room if necessary because the womens' was closed, or the line was a mile long and I was about to pee myself!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
17 Apr 10
I think it's better to bring a boy in the girls room than a girl into the men's room.. considering the women go into a stall before undressing, but the men just stand there in the wide open using a urinal!
My oldest is 13.. when I need to use the restroom I'll leave him in charge of my 7 year old twins, but bring my 2 younger sons into the restroom with me, because they cannot be controlled by their siblings and I don't want them getting into trouble.
But honestly I'd say it depends on where we are. If we're at Walmart or someplace that busy I'd bring the child in with me to be safe. But if we're someplace smaller, where there aren't a lot of people, I'd probably have him stand outside and wait.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
19 Apr 10
This happens to be the Target I shop at most often, but a lot of people think it's kind of 'ghetto'. I'm not going to argue with that, at this particular Target, two friends of mine have had cell phones stolen right out of their kids' hands (I don't let my kids play with my cell phone so that won't happen to me lol), I witnessed an actual fight between two couples because ONE of them hit the other one's cart - the women started yelling and then their husbands joined in with a physical side.... I got away from that aisle as fast as I possibly could without being noticed.... and I have seen a few people try to steal things.
I don't think I would be comfortable leaving a child younger than 10 or 11 outside the bathroom there, regardless of gender or how old they looked.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
19 Apr 10
Ok, see, I wouldn't bring a child into a store near the "ghetto", or into a store where people acted like that. Then again, I'm too terrified to enter a store like that myself! I live out in the country, and the worst kind of people we get at my Walmart or Target is your typical "trailer trash" who are not violent or dangerous.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
18 Apr 10
In this situation the mother did exactly what I would have done if there wasn't a family restroom that was available to be used. Now, if the son was the only one that had to use the restroom, then I would send him into the men's room and wait right outside the door for him to get done, but since it was the girls that had to use the restroom and since the girls needed assistance with it, she did the right thing. There are some times that my husband will take my daughter into the men's room but it isn't a really normal occurance. I do take my son into the ladies room but that is because he is only three years old and still needs assistance.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
18 Apr 10
I would definitely bring my eight year old son into the bathroom with me regardless of whether it was me or him that needed to use the restroom. I would not have him stand outside the bathroom alone nor would I let him use the mens' room without anyone to go in there with him. I think it is far safer to keep him with me than to send him into a bathroom alone or leave him outside, and if somebody can't understand that then they are the one with the problem not me. They are public restrooms and as long as he isn't doing anything inappropriate then there should not be a problem. On the other hand, if there was a "family restroom" option, then I would choose to use that to avoid any potential problems.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
18 Apr 10
Yeah, I will never leave my son outside alone. I always do not really feel comfortable when I saw boys in the ladies' restroom, I thought they should be old enough to go to the Gents'. Yeah, I didn't consider that the mother might be the only adult who brought the little boy to the shopping mall, and she definitely wouldn't let her son waiting outside of the restroom.
I will not leave him alone outside, but I'll also explain to him why I'm bringing him to the ladies. As a 8-year-old boy, he already knows he should go to the Gents' room but not Ladies'.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
•
17 Apr 10
Yes, I have seen this at our local swimming pool. Father's bringing little daughters into the men's changing-rooms. I don't think this is fair on the young child or perhaps us men getting changed in there. But these days it seems to be more acceptable. If I had a young daughter of that age, I would have to ask her mother to bring her to the swimming pool and take her into the female changing area as my young sister did when we were young kids. If my mother couldn't come to the swimming pool with us, then my sister would either stay home or find someone older to take here. 
_Derek
_Derek1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
17 Apr 10
Hi, mommyboo. I can see where you are coming from. If I saw a boy in the womens bathroom, I would not complain at all. Because the mom may need to keep an eye on him. No other parent may never know the status of why the mom feels that she has to watch him. And, if I needed to go to the bathroom, I may have my son wait outside of the bathroom like if we were at the park and it is secluded. But if we are at Walmart, I may let him come in there with me. It was many of times that I have let my son come into the bathroom with me when he was very young. But as he has gotten older, I will let him stand outside until I come back from the bathroom. Of course, I will tell him to stay right where he is, and not to leave. This woman did not need to complain about the son being in the bathroom. That was just unnecessary. But, I would never go into the men's bathroom alone with my son at all.
1 person likes this
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
17 Apr 10
That person obviously doesn't have children or at least I hope not for the kids sake. I've seen moms enter the restroom quite a few times with their young sons and no one else says anything about it because its kind of common knowledge its not safe to leave a child by themselves. I mean its not like we're all out in the open with our junk hanging out as the men love to do in their bathroom anyway so I don't see the problem.
1 person likes this
@teacherplacer (28)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
I never let my boy out of my sight. I always make sure about his safety. Whenever I go to public places, especially if I need to go inside public restrooms I keep him with me. It's not an issue in my country at all, parents here understand what responsible parenting is all about.
And should there be a case of someone disapproving the idea, I don't care at all. I care about my child.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
Hi mommyboo! It's best for her to get them all inside the restroom for her to assure their safety. People around and inside the restroom should understand that already but if someone complains, like who cares, right? These are children and they should know that children should be looked at all the time.
1 person likes this
@mjanakha (479)
• United Arab Emirates
17 Apr 10
Seven year old boy is a child who must not be left alone in the house or outside the restroom. There is no problem to keep him inside the restromm. I hope all the mothers will think him as their own child only. If any one complaints those people have to be made understand the circumstances and he a small child. Some mothers who dont have a baby boy may think all the boys as grown ups. But we must make them understand. Please dont leave your child alone.
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
17 Apr 10
The mom did the right thing and shame on whoever would complain about it. More and more stores have family restrooms for that problem, its good to have the family restrooms. I don't think a dad should take a small girl in the mens restroom, mostly because of the urinals, and men using them. At least in the women's restroom they have doors on the stalls. If a dad has to take a small girl in the restroom, he needs to check and make sure the urinals aren't being used. He can also ask a clerk to check the ladies room and see if is clear to take the little girl in there. Is easier for the women to take the boys in the ladies room, I don't think most people would mind that.
1 person likes this
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
If the little boy was just standing by the door, I have no problem with that. I just feel irritated with young boys who know that they are in a girls' public bathroom and peep underneath the doors. The mother does scold them, but I don't like kids who do this. Some public toilets here in my country have a urinal for small boys installed in the womens' bathroom because they know that most mothers who shop cannot just leave them outside. I guess it depends on the behavior of the little boy.
1 person likes this
@4mymak (1793)
• Malaysia
26 Apr 10
hi mommyboo.. i used to do that myself (take my son into the ladies toilet with me), so i definitely find nothing wrong with it.. my husband says i watch too much hollywood movies (or US shows) that make me paranoid - but hey... better be safe than sorry - malaysians are no different species - we're all human.. and maybe the cases / horror stories we dont hear as often, i think the danger / risk is always there.. and i will do my best to keep my kids safe and within my 'eye-range'..
@wonttakelong (3555)
• United States
17 Apr 10
I do not understand why the woman would have a fit
I have 5 kids; 3 girls and two boys
usually I am the one to take the kids anywhere without my husband so the boys had no choice but to stand by the door of the restroom and wait for me and their sisters
although last week I let my 9 year old boy stand outside the restroom by the door and I gave him stern instructions to NOT talk to anyone and if anyone tries to talk to me he needed to yell into the bathroom for me
and even at that I was nervous the whole time I was in the bathroom
I would rather see a little boy in the women's bathroom than hear about a kid getting snatched outside of one
1 person likes this
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
Yes if there are two restroom for boys and girls
then I will bring my son to the rest room where
he is fitted to do so and vice versa.
I will the boy to transfer to the room for male
in a very good way. And if he will react on it
I just listen and consider. Might be something
on his mind is uncommon. Might be there is
problem in his own or non reader.
@msmrisk (15)
• United States
26 Apr 10
My sister has an 8 yr old son and she still will make him stand inside the door of the women's room in a busy public place. It's not worth the risk to leave them outside the restroom alone and have something happen. I've let him go into the men's room himself, yet I stand outside the door and say his name through the door if he's not out in a short time. If it makes others uncomfortable, oh well. A child's safety comes first.
