What If Your Spouse Not Help You Care for Your Elderly Parents?
By zim1fW
@zim1fW (285)
Philippines
April 17, 2010 8:02pm CST
One complication with marriage is that you cannot predict or anticipate if your wife/husband help take care of your aging parents. What will you do should that situation happen and your parents have no one to turn to?
3 responses
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
Under normal circumstances the partner will can not be expected to take care of the elderly in laws. Like for example I will marry someday I would expect that my wife will help me to take care with my elder parents. But if we both are working we can always hire someone to help us take care of our parents. So problem solved. If my wife is not working then she will be obliged to take care of my parents.
If in the case that my wife will not likely going to do it then hiring somebody to do the job is the best option. I don't want to further complicate things because I have a family and I can't just divorced my wife because she refuses to take care of my parents.
1 person likes this
@zim1fW (285)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
The realities of a working life somehow make things complicated in taking care of elderly parents. And getting a help indeed can be the only way to manage the situation. The danger of this however is that you can get too busy with work to the point you will have no time to be physically present with your parents. If they stay with you, the chances are better than placing them in a home. But still we can only do what we can given the situation we are in.
@sheanne (440)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
Hello zim1fw, I do think you just have to rely on yourself then if ever your partner won't help you at all to care for your aging parents. But if it's in my situation I will feel so sad, heartbroken knowing that I do care a lot both my parents and my partner.
I think when your wife/husband accepted you for life, he/she accepted your parents as well, your parents became his/her parents too. Don't you think he/she ever met you in life if its not because of your parents who brought you into this world? Maybe we should have a sincere talk all about the situation and he/she should accept the fact that if he/she ever do care about you he/she should understand. But if it won't be resolved at all, no matter what happened I think I will choose my parents... I believe blood is still thicker than water. I could still find a partner who could accept me and my parents. We do only have one parents in life.
Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@zim1fW (285)
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
It is really helpful to discuss that issue before taking those matrimonial vows because at worse you may have to take care of your parents alone and he/she would have to do that to his/her parents too... and both of you ends up alone instead of being together--one mind, one body. It pays to be smart in choosing a spouse.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
24 Apr 10
Well luckily my case, my wife is really caring towards my parents and so as my parents to her. Somecases, its true the spouse will not be caring to the hubbys parents. I believe we should take the double responsibility to take care of our parents rather than depending on the spouse after all they are our own parents.
