How Do You Deal With Your Anger?
By npadecio
@npadecio (161)
Philippines
April 19, 2010 9:49pm CST
Hey Mylotters!
Good day. I would like to share what happened to me with my work yesterday that really made me so angry that I felt like quitting.
We had a big event for our clients and I'm part of the Registration Team My job is to assure everything's under control and in the right place. We give out these materials that our client needs and what they paid for. But troubles would just pop-out everywhere, whether it's big or small, no matter what, people keep blaming on me! But from the planning of this event, our team we're not invited to join the meetings and the deliverables to prepare ahead of time for our clients. We're talking of thousands of attendees here, but for every single commitments, we we're not informed.
We will just receive emails from our superiors with the agreements, but on our end, it was difficult to prepare everything when no one's really coordinating at all. We we're not in the meeting to set our standards and lead times per material because it would really consume alot of time.
Again, they just threw every single problem and complaint to me with no pretensions at all or even understanding the scenario. I've been really mad that I wanted to quit my job right then. I know to myself that I didn't do anything wrong for these things to happen. I did everything I can to solve each problems we discovered. I wasn't appreciated but yelled over the phone almost the whole day. I got really mad to the point I'm answering my superiors back and explaining each problems to them, but didn't bother listening. I was so mad that I snapped and just wanted to leave all of them. I said many things I realized that was wrong but that's how I get mad, and it's frustrating that when I snap, I can't control it. I say and do things that is so not me.
I just prayed that afternooon for peace, for me to calm down and for forgiveness. I got really tired. I literally felt the stress and I didn't want to talk with people most especially those who blamed me to whom that they were suppose to be on my side! Good thing, my wife was with me and we just ate the afternoon away from one of our favorite restaurants before going home.
How about you, guys? What do you do when you get angry? How do you handle your anger? Will appreciate your comments on my post. Thanks in advance. :)
1 person likes this
14 responses
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
20 Apr 10
Anger can be a very dangerous thing for sure. Especially when you hold onto it for a long amount of time. I mean, the anger just builds up more and more over time. Then eventually the anger just explodes into one never ending wave. Not exactly good times for sure, I can tell you that much. There are times where I feel like I might not have gotten upset if I had just not tried to push things in the back of my mind.
There are times where I cannot get angry because that would affect the task that I am doing. Therefore I take a couple of steps back. Take a couple of deep calming breaths. Calm down and hope that I can come to terms with the anger. Often times you would be surprised exactly how much of the anger is something that is blown completely out of proportion. Just try not to let things get to me but there are times where it does despite my best efforts.
In the end, I try and figure out the reasons why I might be a little upset. Take a step back and contemplate what has gone wrong. Often times, I come to terms with how foolish my anger might be. So then I do not have the outbursts of anger. I have not gotten angry that much recently, because I have been much calmer and much more likely to not let things get to me as much. I am not perfect however and the outbursts have come far more often then I would have liked them to.
1 person likes this
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
hi megamatt. I get your point you've been seeing the bigger picture and analyzing it before you react. I think you have a matured disposition as far as your temper is concern. I really admire how you manage yourself to think things over and find the reasons why you might be upset. You've also been able to compose yourself by calming down and not to affect the things you're doing. Thanks for your thoughts and experiences, megamatt. I might not get this in an instant, but will surely apply this out little-by-little.
@ejs0316 (28)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
I think you did the right thing by calming yourself down. I do it myself when i get angry too. Being angry is quite stressful and often times if we dont control ourselves, we end up doing things we never expected we can do and regret it at the end of the day. But it is not easy to do. You have to have a place where you can be alone so no one can bother you. Another thing is that having someone to vent it all out is also a good thing to start. Having someone to talk to just to let the things you wanted to say, and to clear your chest on whats the reason why you got angry.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
You're right, it's very stressful to get angry most especially for too long. Yes, when you're angry and can't really get hold of it, I do things as if I'm an animal! It is also true and it's really better to release it if you don't have someone to share with or a place to give you zen and peace. Maybe boxing with the punching bag, playing your favorite video game, reading books, and the like can somehow help. Thanks for the comment, ejs.
@Lylascomments (161)
• United States
20 Apr 10
I was just in a similar predicament at my job. Ya know the saying crap rolls down hill. Well I was at the bottom and none of it was my fault either. I just go home and vent to whoever will listen. Then I try to get info from other people to help with my situation. I still ended up back trying to talk to the boss who doesn't listen to the whole conversation and only tries to cover his own butt. But what he said was basicly grin and bear it. So thats what I'm doing.
So I guess you just try to do your best and don't sweat the little things. Everyone has to point a finger somewhere and sometimes it's just in your direction.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Hi Lylascomments. Yeah, and I've felt the same way too. The feeling that whatever explanations you do, you're still wrong and you're being the one blamed almost all the time. That's really frustrating and I got really pissed that day. You're right, someone will always have to pinpoint others to save themselves from troubles.
Just a suggestion for what we can do with regard to this matter is just to adjust our expectations to people who may have done something these things to us. And if same scenario happens, we know how to react on it being cautious enough and expectant for us to be upset so much at least.
@gaurxua9 (16)
• India
20 Apr 10
Well in your situation I would have told my superiors that I have tried my best and all the shortcomings are not entirely because of me. Next time if I am allowed to handle the situation my way, I can prove my point. Also I would suggest some improvements and would accept the mistakes on my part, with a commitment to join hands to take the future of organization to greater heights.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Hi gaurxua! I wish I could say that to my boss but before I would be able to say my side, she would cut me or should I say, cut me all of the time while I'm still talking. She will just focus on the problem itself and blame it all to me as if I was the culprit. It's difficult because it easy for them to notice the problems than the solutions and the achievements. And I'm not sure if it's normal because it's not for me. The bad part is that because of what my boss does, I'm getting and getting bad images to out BIG BOSS.
You're right, I do accept my mistakes and learn from it and take the next step for improvement and I believe there's always a room for it.
@Debsykins123 (26)
•
20 Apr 10
Aww poor you np, I really feel for you, I've had days like that myself, in fact I'm amazed that I haven't been blamed for the icelandic volcano! :o)
When you have a day that starts like this, and you can usually tell....take yourself out of the situation that is winding you up, even if you only manage a few mminutes, as you are of no use once you are THAT annoyed. Talk to yourself if you have to, I do it a lot lol. Reason it out with yourself, take some deep breaths(but dont hyperventilate), it gives you enough time to become rational, and appreciate that you are on a hiding to nothing if you start giving your superiors grief, it's a rare thing that they will admit THEY have contributed to the situation. Bite your tongue and perhaps in future put your grievances in an email, at least you have the opportunity to delete anything that might cause offence.
It's really unfair though that you should have to carry the can for their mistakes, but sadly they have the upper hand.
Stress can be a dangerous thing so you don't need too much of THAT. Nice that you and your wife could chomp all that stress away....probably the BEST way to alleviate stress.
Good luck in the future, and I hope you don't have too many other days like that!
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Hey Debyskins. LOL good humor right there! Yeah, that's what I'm going to do if the same things happens again (for sure it will, it's part of my job). Like what I've said to my reply earlier, I should set my expectations to these people for my body and emotions know how to react on it. I'm being rational that time because I know that I'm innocent, I have my proofs and I had nothing to do with it. It's just that I'm the head of the team and the only person they can pinpoint is me KNOWING that it's not my fault. Ironic isn't it? I sure can't understand it, too. I've felt being betrayed and left alone when instances like this came along. It's not actually the first same, but so far, this is the worst.
Looking at the brighter side, my wife is always there to listen, to support with my endeavors and to comfort me in times like this. I'm just blessed to have her in my life. With her,
Thanks for your suggestions and for being able to understand my part. Will surely try this one out most especially biting my tongue, I just hope it's not that hard for it to cut-off, LOL.
@Triper (71)
• Portugal
20 Apr 10
EMO CORNER SET READY GO!!
Stay there for some minutes.
Wait anger goes off.
Back to life.
Feel the world again.
Forget that emo corner moment happened.
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
20 Apr 10
As far as I am concerned, I think I seldom get angry with other things beside me. For me, I think I am a easy going person, who usually has a lot of friends beside, and seldom get angry with others. But actually, sometimes it will some thing happen to me makes me so angry with it. I still remember that it was last year, when the new year was coming, one day, when I was wlaking on street, suddenly, a car ran by and spoilt a lot of dirty on my clothes which I has just worn from my house. But the car just ran off with a stop. I am so sacred about this thing in my daily life.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Hey caliya! Yeah, it's really hard to contain upon exceeding your tolerance level. I haven't tried counting yet, will do that too once I would encounter such in the next few days maybe, LOL. I talk to myself also telling the anger side of me to calm down and recompose before I act on it that I will soon regret. Thanks for dropping!
@nehmer (607)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
If im angry at someone. I usually sleep too cool myself down and when i wake up i partially forget why im angry. try it and you'll see the effects.. ^^
@ytinummi (57)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
When I am really mad and I need to control my anger, I go out somewhere that has something green like trees or the like. I can get by just looking at mother nature's creation and it seems to ease the anger. On the other hand, if I get really, really mad and I need to release it, I hide under the pillow and scream out loud. Both usually works for me. You don't necessarily need to get over the anger, you just have to at least lessen it and ease yourself.
