How do I keep a friend like this?

Wow, this is huge, for you. I have been involved with people like this. Try a sibling so what is worse? Sometimes maezee, you just have to let go and hope for the best. I know that sounds like the hardest thing ever but for your own sake, health and well being. No matter how much to wind yourself up, how much you yell and cry, he is going to do what he is going to do regardless. There isn't a thing that you can say or do to change that. It is he who has to one, want to change and two, do better, for himself! Not for a friend, a lover or otherwise. Even if he made what would be a lame attempt, for the sake of a friend etc, it wouldn't last. He needs to work through his own cr*p, on his own time. I understand that you have known him since the earliest of years but perhaps it is time to look him in the eye and say hey, you know what, I can't be a part of this caos anymore and remain sane. tell him that he must go his own way as you are going yours. Be sure to let him know that if and when he ever cleans up his act, figure out what is compelling him to make the crazy decisions that he has been, deal with it and get on track, that you will be there for him, as a friend, that for now, he is in too deep for your likely and that you do not want to be a part of it. Good bye. Go your own way. Be strong and don't look back. If in five years or more he wanders back, has a good job, is paying for his place and doing good, without messing on the bad side of the law and in good health, welcome him with open arms. Problem is is that he is an adult, he is going and getting arrested (for who knows what) and so he now has a criminal record to boot. Great. That is going to make his life much harder to handle. Convictions do not work in anyone's favor when it comes to working and such. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have completely understood your post. That is what I would do. When my one sibling is in a fase where they are carrying on less responsibly than what I would like, I avoid them like the plague because the stress it causes me, the worry and concern just isn't good for me or my heart, my health and for those around me. I can not take one the baggage, the problems and all that goes along with living that lifestyle. I let go and hope for the best. I let go because I can;t handle it and remain in tack to look after myself and those who depend on me. Mainly myself! So that is what I would do and is only my opinion.

Hi maezee, you have been an amazing person and a friend to him. But putting that burden on your shoulders is also keeping you from opening yourself to other people who could equally care for you and be responsible for his own self at the same. It seems like your whole life revolves around him but in the long run you are only hurting yourself.

You are in a dilemma there but you need to either get through to him or tell him the consequences if he does not stop getting himself into trouble and worrying you so much You have to think of yourself to and this will make you sick in the end, also the other thing that could happen further down the road, is that you will start to resent him because of what he is doing to you and himself I hope that you can work this out I really do

i have a cousin who is also attracted to those kinds of guys, guys with problem, sometimes people want to be with other people who has a bigger problem than us to make our problem look small. And having a friend like that and attracted to is not good. But everybody needs a friend right? including him, but sometimes it doesn't have to be you.

I think we've all known someone at one point or another that we knew was bad for us but we couldn't help ourselves. With me it was a boyfriend. He hurt me badly, time and time again, but I just wouldn't let him go. Personally I think you're too emotionally invested in this guy. You understand that people change, and this guy has changed in a bad way. Just like people change, friendships do as well. If he is just a friend, then it's time to take a few steps back. Let him live his life, but stay out of it. You can't allow him to pull you into it. But remain available to be there for him when he gets his sh*t together so to speak. But to me it sounds like it's more than a friendship, which makes it worse. If you're actually in love with the guy, then you need to sever all ties completely and get away from it! It will be hard for awhile, but as time goes on it will get easier and you'll meet someone better for you.

everybody have their strengths and weaknesses.his not growing up is not a reason you should leave him.at least he does understand you and your situations.people like him are hard to understand.you consider him a good friend and should keep considering him a good friend whole your life until and unless something bad happens that affects you personally.right now he needs you.don't leave him.already he is in jail and i don't know how bad he is feeling.he'll be more hurt if you leave him when he needs you the most.i have never had a friend like this so maybe my advice maybe senseless but i have gone through a situation where i have thought the same way you are thinking now.i even ended up leaving that person and that was the biggest mistake of my life and i don't want to remember all that again.i would simply say that its better to prevent the breaking of relationship rather than regretting it later.if he continues to keep going to jail you in a way don't have anything to lose but if you consider leaving hi then you will lose a great friend.he needs you now and as a friend you have a responsibility to help him out.rest is your choice.hope you have understood what rubbish i have written.take care.god bless you both.

I don't think it is selfish to leave your friend. It is healthier for you to move on to better things. Life is to short to waste it on someone who is determined to wreck their own life. I agree with the previous post. If he comes back after 5 years totally reformed, welcome him with open arms. If not, forget about him. It seems like you have done everything you could for him. I do understand that it is very difficult to leave someone you love very much. But life has to go on. You can't let yourself down because of him. Do the right thing and live your life and if he does change, may be you can have a better relationship. And sometimes people change because of the unexpected. You leaving him might make him see things a little clearer, in a way that you are not going to stand by and watch him destroy himself. Be firm, and let him know that eventhough you love him very much, you can't suffer anymore by watching him do the wrong things.