When your son starts smoking.... where to now?

I would really have a long talk with him. Try and convince him of the repercussions of smoking and getting addicted.

It's very difficult,I think.He is not a child.

Hi Dralon, Well, he is 21 so you can't really stop him from drinking or smoking if that is what he chooses to do, unfortunately. Still, he does live in your house and you can put down rules and demand that he follow them or else. You have every right to demand that no one including your son, smoke in your home. You can also ban drinking from your home and even tell him that he has to find another place to stay at times when he chooses to drink. If he doesn't agree or disobeys the rules then he can find another place to stay. I know it isn't easy but it does work. I had a daughter that partied in my home while I was at work. I didn't like coming home to it, didn't like it around my younger daughter, etc. I finally told her that if it continued she'd have to find another place to stay. She was 21 also at the time. Well, she up and moved out. It wasn't long before she moved back in and did go by the rules.

well friend my son is still small!but thanks for the pre warning!!starting this discussion!

Your sons self-esteem is shot, something or someone made him feel ugly, fat and out of place, he has to realize he's a grown man now and doesn't have to believe what others think of him, he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and you need to quit treating him like a child, sounds like he's also disrepecting you and your home by smoking around you and your son, I find most smokers very selfish, this is a "catastrophic disaster" you're whatching you son slowly killing himself, you don't have to put up with it. it's not fair to you or your other son, tell him he needs to move to, find a roomate, You and only you hold the ball, you can't convince him to quit smoking,but you can help him find motivation to quit just ask him, honey why do you smoke? and ask him to be honest with you and himself, when he gives you the answer, write me and I would love to help you help him. This is my passion, I work alot with women but I work with men too.

At the age of 21 any advices given to a son will be in vain. During this period parents will seem to be unimportant for them. They will try to follow their friends and will be curious know what is happening in the earth. Its better you dont tell him not to smoke or not to drink. Instead when he is in good mood you just tell the problem of smoking and drinking with some living examples. Try to understand from him what makes him involved in this bad habit. Solve that problems and you can bring your son back.

My son is goin to be 17 and has been smoking for a little over a yr..EVEN THOUGH I AM A SMOKER MYSELF..I flipped!! BUT at least he finally came clean with me ya know.. Fact is, your son is an adult and is free to do as he pleases...Unfortunately even if he wasnt an adult (like wiht my son) there is still only so much you can do....but I would most definately DEMAND that he NEVER SMOKE in your home or near his brother but really thats all you can do..aside from common sense things like NOT finacially supporting his habit....You can continue to voice your dislike over it all BUT keep in mind that if you nag him all the time you could very well cause a serious rift in your relationshp with him...

I'm in a very similar situation with my 21 yr old son. We do not condone that behavior and we told him he has to move out. We can not force him to stop what he is doing but we can enforce the rules of our household. I also have a 4 yr old son that is affected. My 21 yr old had decided not to follow our rules and was smoking in our home which is why we told him he has to move out. We do not allow ANYONE to smoke in our home, our adult children included. I'll say all you can do is demand his respect within your home. If he chooses not to give you that respect then it's time for him to make his own way in this world.

Well you need to handle the situation more carefully. You cant be harsh as he is addictive to it. Best way is to take him to the rehabilition care, where most of my neighbours got their hubbys and son cured completely.

when i was in college i used to smoke and drink too. i guess this is normal for this kind of curiosity stage. just stay on reminding him about the consequences of it overtime and he will outgrown it soon. gie him time and give him space, he might be just rebelling, dont you think..