how do you know if your husband still loves you?
@researchconsult (37)
Philippines
April 30, 2010 3:32am CST
I'm dealing with conflict in our marriage and my husband seem to have changed in the past few days. We've had a huge fight actually caused our separation. We still live in the same house for now as I am currently pregnant but he shows signs of rejection towards me. I know that he's still angry and although I have said sorry for the things I've said to him he still ignores me. I've actually given up but I think I still love him despite everything. I think of him everytime but I'm not sure if he feels the same way. How do I know for sure that he doesnt love me anymore and that I should no longer keep my hopes up for our marriage?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@hazelsweetme (199)
• Philippines
1 May 10
I think, you both need space. It is not your fault alone so stop the feeling of guilt. You can ignore him, too. If he realize how important you are, he would make the first step. But if not, maybe he don't feel the same way you feel for him. How can he realize your importance if he is confident that you are always there. People always look for those who are not around. We don't see the importance of a person when he/she is always with us, But once the person is gone, we start to realize what we have lost.
@kaylachan (69370)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 May 10
That can be complicated. For one thing, I feel in a small way he still loves you. Otherwise he would have either done a legel seperation, or filed for devoorice. You may be pregnant, but if your marrige was in that bad of shape, he would have left you. Most men, (at least the ones I know) wouldn't stick around just because their whife was pregnant, if they were in such bad tearms.
What you need to do is give yourself and him some space. Allow you both to sort out your feelings. Then sit down with each other (or a marrige counslour if you think it will help) and talk about what caused the fight. Try to understand it from his point of view, and ask that he do the same.
Now however, you should try not to stress so much over it. Try to relax, and see if you can ease the tension in the household somehow. Think of what you want and try to relax. stressing about this isn't good for you in your condition. Don't want to scare you, but putting too much stress and tension on your body could lead up to misscarage. So you take care of yourself so that you have a healthy baby in however many months you have left.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 May 10
hi research consult why not go to him and ask him to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him you still love him, and ask him if he still loves you or is it too late or too little? make it clear you are sorry for harsh words said in anger but want to know if he feels like trying to mend things between you and start fresh without any recriminations from either of you. ask him if he feels that going to a marriage counselor would help you to mend the broken bridge between the two of you? it seemsto me that he is being childish because he owes you some kindness due to your pregnancy as the child is also his too. bring up the subject of the coming baby,the two of you need to talk calmly and rationally now.
@piya84 (2581)
• India
30 Apr 10
hiiii researchconsult
Its better you guys go away from each other little bit.Dont you have any one form your immediate family or your friend where you can go and live for some time.I think you both guys are angry and upset and thus true emotions are hiding below it.You both need to clam down and then think about it if there are some strings still left between both of you carry your relationship further.
@borgiefame (166)
• Philippines
1 May 10
I'm sorry to hear this from you. I'm still single but committed to a women. We're together for almost three years now. And whenever we are caught in misunderstanding, I always find way to talk to her and we solve the problem together. In your situation, I think you guys need to talk. Make the first move, forget your pride. Tell him that you care for him and tell him again and if needed, how deeply sincere you are sorry for what had happen. Talk and solve it.
I hope you guys can fix the fracture between you. Likewise, don't forget to love your self.
@vinne22 (5)
• Philippines
1 May 10
I think your husband still loves you. Love don't fades away instantly. It's just that for now maybe he's still in pain (maybe from what you've told him when you had a fight). Give him time to think and heal his own wound. And maybe when things are already fine then you both have to talk about your relationship. For now you have to take good care of your self first cause your pregnant. You have to stay healthy for the baby. And you really should be stress free.
@researchconsult (37)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Thanks for your advice and for all those who went out of their way to comment on my post. My husband and I have decided to give it another try as we both still feel for each other. I really thank the Lord for this blessing and I know that by his power, he'll heal our relationship. We're now trying to stay calm but I let him go out with his old friends as he let's me go out with mine too. The talk we had was very helpful but all will take its course in God's time. As of now, we're trying to serve the Lord and our church throught our ministry. Praise be to our Lord. Amen.
@mjanakha (479)
• United Arab Emirates
30 Apr 10
Forget about your fight. Start again as a new couple. Even if he doesnt talk to him you voluntarily go and talk with him. Do something he likes. Dont complaint him about anything. Some men will have the problem of starting. He may think you should always agree to him.
As you are pregnant its more easy for you to change your husbands mind. Try to talk about your expected baby.
Best of luck
@tolted (190)
•
30 Apr 10
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Two wrongs don't make a right so keep doing good to him. You have said sorry but start showing you are sorry by being kind to him and not say things that will upset him. It might take a while but with time goodness will prevail and I believe he will come around. It is not easy I know but marriage is hard work. Love conquers all.
I wish you all the best.