Today we were told as parents that my other two sons have autism

@jugsjugs (12967)
May 4, 2010 5:20pm CST
My husband went to the school today and had a meeting with a special needs teacher and three other people that have something todo with the school.My husband was told that the two son that are in that school seem to have autism.I have two children that are girls from a past relationship aswell as my four sons from this marriage.My youngest son has a liver complaint aswell as adhd who is 6 years old,his brother who is 8 years old has a heart problem aswell as dyspraxia and now these two sons one is 10 the other is 13 have autism.I could have cried when my husband told me as this autism should have been picked up in primary school.I am upset aswell as angry as the school should have noticed years ago.
7 people like this
34 responses
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
5 May 10
jugs, teachers know a lot, but they are not the judges when diagnosing a child with a disease. That is for a doctor to say. I'd hold off on a diagnosis until a doctor says what my child has. Please try to give your children the benefit of a doubt. They have testing they can do. Make appointments for them to see the appropriate doctors. The best wishes to you and your two boys on this matter. You all will be in my prayers.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
10 May 10
It was the education psycholigist that said he had the problem to the school as he has been monited for sometime now in the school and what with the violent out bursts he now has a repremand that he got from the police and youth offenders are also trying to help him before things get out of hand.He knows all the answers to most of the questions that the teachers asks,but he is no good at putting pen to paper.As long as the school are trying to help that is a bonus i suppose.
• United States
11 May 10
Oh my yes, when the schools will work with you and help with his needs then that is one step in the right direction. A huge one at that. Good luck dear. You are all in our prayers.
• United States
5 May 10
((hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear they are recognizing a possible problem now. My oldest has been tested thru the school for ADD/ADHD & referred to a neurologist. However, we have decided her being placed in LD in January has helped her greatly and feel that unless the school pushes for further testing we will let things be as they are. She's only 7 and I feel it's a confidence, maturity, and possibly the two factors that she didn't speak much til she was 4yrs old wich puts her approx 2yrs behind in some of her verbal skills wich will put her behind in her reading & DH had something similar to dyslexia when he was a kid with his inability to read and remember the high frequency words wich is also something they don't test for til they are in 3rd grade & that's 2 school yrs away. I understand how upset you are. I was pretty upset when the school called and said they wanted to administer an intelligence test and test for ADD/ADHD. We see our kids to be normal & it's tramatic to hear that they are not "perfect" as we see them to be. Keep talking things out and discussing things with your husband an family for a sounding board as well as your friends here.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
10 May 10
I just think it is such a shame as i know from what my son has said that there are lots of jobs that he wants to do when he leaves school and if he is what they call this end branded with autism then he will not be able to go for the jobs and with his violent out bursts there are not alot of people that would want to take him on.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
5 May 10
You have every right to be upset, but now you have to figure out what needs to be done to help them. The first thing I would do is contact a Doctor and find out. I would not just go by the school.
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 May 10
how long have been your sons going to this school. I got turned off too, they should have seen this one from the start. What they are planning to do now, send your sons to special schools? Is the school willing to help your sons?
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
5 May 10
I have never heard of a school that is qualified to diagnose autism. Maybe it is this school and not the other one that is mistaken. Good luck, but I would get a second opinion from someone unrelated to the school if it were me.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
10 May 10
An education psychologist went to the school along with a few other people that did the assessment on my son and the teachers were the ones that told us.They also explained that now my son will be getting a bit more extra support for him as this would also help him.
@sulsisels (1685)
• United States
4 May 10
Hi Jugs..Sorry to hear about the diagnosis. What level of autism is it? When i was in college, my first major was early childhood development and I studied a little bit about autism and worked with afflicted kids..It must not be too severe if you have never noticed it or seen signs of it. I think I would definately get more opinions. What makes them think that this is what they have?
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (12967)
10 May 10
My oldest son is in his last year at middle school he is at the moment 13 years old.When he was in primary school he used to be violent towards the dinner ladies aswell as other adults.He used to fly into a temper aswell as not want to learn.When he went to his middle school they tried soo hard to help him aswell as we did with catching up on his learning.What made it worse he was left handed and us aswell as the teachers were right handed so i paid a girl to try to get his hand writing up to scratch as she was left handed thinking perhaps that was a problem aswell for him.He has got a repremand now as he is violent and cannot socialise very well.He is being offered help from the what they call youth offenders team as they are going to try to help him with his out bursts aswell as get him to think more of what his actions may cause before he acts.It was the school aswell as a parent support advisor had said aswell as education person in the school.I had noticed problems with him when he was younger and i had been trying to get him help with his out bursts but with no success.
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
4 May 10
You are not alone. My son was originally diagnosed as having ADHD even though he did not "fit" the diagnosis fully. We were told it was "atypical" ADHD. Autism was never even mentioned as a possibility. He was in 7th grade when I read an article about an 8 year old boy with Aspergers Syndrome (a form of autism). The article I was reading could have been written about my son - all the symptoms matched! (60% of Aspergers children also have ADHD symptoms and they are commonly misdiagnosed.) I went to our pediatrician with the article (he had never heard of this condition)and he referred us to a specialist who ran full tests on our son and determined he was actually autistic (high functioning or Aspergers). When we took his correct diagnosis to the school they had to do research themselves because they had never heard of this condition! For your school to have been able to identify this shows how far information about this condition has spread since my son's diagnosis in 1998. It is possible that when your 13 year old started school, they did not know about this condition or how to identify it. Be glad that they are now able to recognize this problem as well as many other disorders. At least now, you have a place to start and can get your sons help while they are still in school.
1 person likes this
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
5 May 10
Aspergers Syndrome did not become well known until after 2000 and most people thought of autism only as the very severe disorder where children were unable to communicate and had to wear football helmets to keep them from banging their head into walls, tables and floors. The UK was diagnosing Aspergers Syndrome routinely almost 15 years before the US even admitted it was a disorder. When my son started preschool, he was actually seen by a developmental psychologist (a professional; not a school teacher or couselor) and no form of autism was even mentioned. Since 2000, autism and Aspergers have become household terms and there are celebrities and organizations that are actively promoting this problem and trying to help. Before that there was little or nothing. Amazing how fast the world changes and things we take for granted today did not even exist just a few years ago.
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
5 May 10
He was doing well in school until his Junior year; then, he stared having problems. He did graduate high school; but, his grades were not good enough to get into anything but community college and he had problems there. He tried to go into the military; but, was informed that any form of autism is grounds for permanent ineligibility for all branches of the armed forces. He has had several jobs; but, has been unable to hold a job for more than a month. He is currently 25 years old, unemployed, and living at home.
@jugsjugs (12967)
10 May 10
I wish my sons problem had been picked up sooner as then perhaps he would have got more support for his learning aswell as maybe a bit of help on the temper aswell.I will give my son some credit as at home he walks away from his brothers even though he shouts at them and that is good it is a shame that he can not do this at school.Thanks for the info.
@AmbiePam (93855)
• United States
5 May 10
Is it Aspergers?
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
31 May 10
I wonder how your two sons are that the school think have got autism. There are different sorts of autism. I have taught a little boy with Asperger syndrome. For the boy with autism I had a special needs learning support assistant. My toddler son has got Spina Bidida and Hydrocephalus. My oldest nephew has got Dyspraxia and my youngest nephew is an elective mute.
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
5 May 10
an they are finding out now I would say you sure I took care of two boys with Autism an they displayed signs before the even started school I would think the school would of figured out a long time ago I will keep you an your family in my thoughts good luck
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
5 May 10
by the way i would ask my doctor what he thinks The school could very well be wrong
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
5 May 10
jugsjugs how can a special needs teacher and three other people from the school system diagnose autism? I think I would take my sons to a reputable doctor and get another opinion as autism does not just all of a sudden happen, so they are just now saying that? I think they are not really medical expertsI would take a good doctor's word first over all these so called teacher experts, they are not medically trained. I really would not accept their diagnosis with out input from a medical specialist who would know a heck of a lot more than teachers do. ah yes the weasel word seem look Jugs jugs really I would seek another opinion or even two opinions first before just accepting that label.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
5 May 10
I am very sorry to hear about this. You are not the only parent that is going through some things too. Please don't feel bad about your two sons having Autism. I am sure that this is very hard for you to deal with as a mother. Lord knows, we have enough of stress that is going on in our lives. I would be angry too if your sons have been in school and they just found this out now. I wonder why they haven't notice this before. I thought that Autism is supposed to be present at birth. Either way that it goes, this still is sad. I hope that you will stay strong so that you can be there for sons. How is your husband feeling about this? It must be very hard for him to have to hear this about his two boys. I am very sorry, jugsjugs.. I really am..
1 person likes this
@quita88 (3715)
• United States
5 May 10
ah? excuse me! Since when does a special needs teacher diagnose a kid??? Take the boys to a REAL Dr and have them tested. There is no way a SCHOOL can pick up on autism. They might SUGGEST it but it's up to a professional to diagnose them. Take care to do the right thing by your boys by providing them with the proper medical diagnosis. God Bless, quita
@karen1969 (1779)
17 May 10
My 14 year old daughter has Aspergers and it wasn't diagnosed til a year or so ago. The earlier the diagnosis, the better it is as these things are a slow process, but at least if you have a diagnosis now, you can use this to find out more and get help. A diagnosis can be a positive thing as now everyone knows what they are dealing with. Good Luck!
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
6 May 10
Sorry to hear about this. You must have your hands full with all your children and all the problems that plague your family. I don't understand though why you are angry at the school. How could you and your husband miss it? Do you read with your children every day? Did your husband have normal converstions with these boys, such as telling stories, talking about sports, the day's events etc. Can these boys talk, read and write? What are their grades like? Remember each teacher in school has up to 30 students in class. School is also only a few hours a day. Parents are with their children at night, at breakfast, at supper before bed time and on weekends. Did you not notice anything amiss?
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
6 May 10
i have a nephew that i think has autism but i can not force the parents to take their son for a check. i just think he has i am not sure for i am no expert, but i agree on what you said that the school have noticed that years ago. autism is detected around 2 years old. i will be upset and angry also if the school will tell me something like that but late already. but cheer up. there are schools that can make them achievers.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
6 May 10
I am sorry you received this news. It sounds as though you have enough to deal with your other children and it must feel like this is the last thing you need. The one thing that I have to wonder about is whether there were doctors who diagnosed your sons because if there wasn’t I would not accept an opinion instead of a diagnosis. Either way I would take your boys to a professional because a second opinion is always worthwhile. It is important to remember that nor all degrees of autism are life debilitating and there are many who live full rich lives despite a touch of autism.
• Philippines
11 May 10
I have heard that there are some kids that grow up normally but at a certain age, something triggers and suddenly they exhibit symptoms of autism. Maybe this is the case with your 2 sons. But it's best to see a developmental pediatrician or neurologist who can assess if your sons do have autism. It could be that your sons' violent behavior is due to hyperactivity. They have this excess energy that need to be released, thus the violent behavior. Through therapy, this excess energy could be directed towards something more positive like engaging them in sports that require a lot of physical activity. I have a 5-year-old daughter with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). It was hard to accept at first but time is of the essence, the earlier the intervention, the better for the child. So we really didn't have time to dwell on our emotions. We had to move forward and do what's best for her. She's been in therapy for 3 years now and I'm happy that she has improved a lot and shows signs that she is high functioning.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
15 May 10
I think that must have been really tough to absorb. I was in a relationship with a woman who has 3 kids and her kids were diagnosed with Autism too, but I don't see why you all blame the school. As a parent one knows who the kids behave and with some education about behavior, one knows better and when to have a doctor evaluate your kids. She knew way early in their lives.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
7 May 10
Really sorry to hear this. As a parent, we would always want our kids to have the best chances in life. Whatever ailment they have, we want it diagnosed early so we could give them the best of possibilities. It breaks my heart to know that as parents we are sometimes rendered helpless. I'll say a few prayers for you and your family.