Why People leave their parents at old people home when they reach to an old age?

I dont think it is because they dont appreciate them or love them, but because they simply cannot accomodate or care for them. If my parents were old enough to need a nursing home now, I wouln't be in a position to have them live with me, not even just one of them, and I couldnt move all the way to where they live to care for them, no matter how much I love my parents, I couldn't make room in my 2 bedroom terraced house to care for them here, and so a care home may be the only option, but I would never "dump" them there, I would look into residential homes, where my aunt lives and loves it, small flat like rooms, where you have your own kitchen bathroom living room, but also there is always someone on the reception should you need help, and you have an alarm in your room to cal for help in an emergency. There is also a common room where they have meals you can go to, TV on, games nights, etc so you can socialise and not sit alone all night. I would choose somewhere like that for them, where they could choose to look after themselves or be looked after, and I would know they had people to see and speak to and a helper on hand whenever they needed. If they were sick, i.e. something like alzeimers, I would find the best nursing home I could, and would ensure they were well cared for, and check in all the time, visiting at least once a week. But I can understand why peple put their parents into those homes, they may not have the money or the space to care for them, and if they are ill, they wont get the care they need at your home, and you may even find yourself having to give up work to care for them, meaning even more strain on your family. I know my parents wouldn't feel I was letting them down if I put them into a home, not if it was a nice residential type home or a high quality nursing home, where they were happy and cared for well. But people who dump their parents in dirty care homes and never visit, I cnanot understand that, I find that sick.

I don't know why people do that. How they can become so rude. But my father he respect his parents so much and never ignore them. That's why i feel proud to my parents and i will also do the same things with my parents. I will never leave them. You know the people who do it with there parents the same things there child will do with them.

It can be hard especially if the partner who is looking after their loved one for example is getting old themselves and is finding it very hard to do so. I mean as you get older you just may not have the same energy and strength but also it requires so much work especially if one is in a wheel chair or something but one can only imagine how tough things are but really you have to be in that situation to really understand the whole thing and put yourself in that person's shoes. I know it is not an easy choice but if they don't have the time or energy, at least there are people out there that can help out. I mean it doesn't mean you don't care especially if you visit regularly and make an effort to make things easier at the new place by being there as much as possible. It will be like nothing too much has changed but you have to really make the effort. If, however it is possible to look after an old aged person and do it with lots of love and care then more power to those individuals, because it requires so much that that is really commendable as well. However, it is not right to quickly judge people who just find it too hard and every situation is unique and different so we should know the facts before we do look at people in a certain way. I think it is important to also mention that old people do deserve to be placed in a place that was well researched and you know they do a great job there meaning they have a clean and great track record.

there are so many reasons why they put their parents in those places, but a reason that is for just having not to take care of them is bad. there are selfish people in the world. in our society of fast moving, those who can't fend of themselves will get left behind this is how it is.

well, I guess they do that, because they are asshol*s no one can do that, becaues parents are those who have raised us so many years and they have given much to us and have done without many things just to know that we have what to eat and feel better!

It is not a good idea to leave our parents in a certain institution (home for the aged) when they reach that old age. It is the responsibility of us, children, to take care of them no matter what; though, there are many instances like when some of us gets married (soon) and our partner doesn't want any obligations, then it can be fixed still by good communication. We should always remember that they are the ones who were there for us, in good times and in bad; and in return, we (children) must give back to our parents the utmost respect and care that they deserve.

It saddened me that there are still people who chose to leave their parents in those places. Its worth living, when you live and grow old with your parents, isn't it? We need to remember that this people are the one who took care of us while we are still young. They gave their unconditional love for us. For a country like the Philippines, close family ties is so important. We value each member of the family. Its important for us to see that the family sticks together. As you can see, even when were already married we still stick in one house just to value each member of the family. Seeing them everyday is one matters most. Though, I cannot judge those people who leave their parents in those places. They might have their reason and motives for living them, but whatever it is, I still do not consider living my parents at Home for the Aged as an option.

I think the socio-economic environment has worsen the situation. I am not in support to send the parents in old age home. The reasons which I think are behind this ar as follows:- 1) We became selfish. Te people are thinking on their own leisure, happiness and comfort. The presence of old parents will not allow to live a restless life. 2) We have became reluctance on any advice at home. The outdoor life has become tough and we got irritate on a very simple think. 3) We forgot the duty on our parents. Sometimes the example of parents also teaches us the same. When our parents have not look after their parents, they have established a very bad example in the mind of the child. And they are getting it now. Thats all for now.

People do it because it's more convenient for them and they have more regard for themselves than their parent[s]. We went through this with my exhusband's grandmother, who had dementia. Her son who lived nearby and who brought her groceries and did her laundry became increasingly concerned about her safety when she almost set her house on fire by trying to heat up food on a plastic plate on the stove. This woman had five children, all of them had room for her but none of them wanted to take her in because that would require effort on their part. The son used a hospitalization to trick her into going to a nursing home but she was so upset that we took her in two weeks later. There were four children in our home, we both worked, but we somehow managed to care for her...because we cared about her.

You make some very good points. I hope I can care for my parents should they ever need that kind of care. I think it really depends on what the parents need. Sometimes maybe it's the parent's decision, as they can play games and spend time with others their age and live in a safe social environment. There are also times when their health has deteriorated to the place where it is better for them to be under 24 hour supervision by health professionals. It's not always just wanting to get rid of them!

Hey achool, I firmly believe that when you are taking your parent to an old people's home, unless you cannot support him yourself, than it is really wrong. I believe it is disrespectful and a sign of betrayal for your parents. Imagine them thinking, after all that time they took care of you, you want to get rid of them just like that. If it's for a good reason, i think it's acceptable, but it's just because that you feel they're a 'weight' than thats bad. Personally i would never leave my parents in an old peoples home, even if i go bankrupt - so be it! regards, borg246

That happens in certain cultures. But in our own culture in the Philippines and also in most Asian countries, old people live with their children until they die. I think it's been embedded in our culture. It is understood that parents who took good care of their children will also be taken care of when they grow too old to take care of themselves. It is how it should be.