Me and my brother is fighting over one girl.
By screwdriver
@screwdriver (643)
Philippines
May 9, 2010 1:09pm CST
This happens before, I had this girl who happens to be my best friend. I knew her since I was a preschooler. We became really close until our college years. With that my feelings got so intense and as we grow older that feeling grows as well. On her 18th birthday, I gave her a letter telling her that what I feel for her is more than friends. When she knew about my feelings, she cries out and told me that she is already committed to someone. It broke my heart and saddened about what she told me. I sacrifice the friendship that we have over this feelings that I have. Sad thing is the other person is my brother.
Me and my brother are not in good terms. I still cant move on with what happened. After two years, of not speaking to my brother, the girl come up to me and confess that the only reason why she's with my brother is to get my attention and that after all those years I am the one she loved. Is that unfair? What do i do?
3 people like this
16 responses
@meirhu (363)
• Israel
12 May 10
Wonderful wonderful example of how our society makes something that is really so simple into something complex and wrong and confusing.
What would be sooo wrong for this girl to go out with you AND your brother ?
Why couldn't BOTH of you enjoy her company ? This would bring you and your brother CLOSER instead of pushing you apart.
Of course not - because society says that you (and she) are NOT ALLOWED to have two intimate friends.
And why not ?
Well the polyamory community is saying that it IS possible and in most cases PREFERABLE to have MORE than one lover.
Think about it.
@screwdriver (643)
• Philippines
12 May 10
are you saying to commit with the girl even if shes committed to my brother?
@screwdriver (643)
• Philippines
12 May 10
I think thats inappropriate. I dont think its acceptable to commit to this girl and then his also committed to my brother. for me, thats something that I cant accept. Its like your using one toothbrush with my brother. Thanks shareing your the idea. Its appreciated!
@meirhu (363)
• Israel
12 May 10
YES
BUT
You did NOT have this arrangement before with the girl or with your brother OR even with yourself.
So it just might not work out.
But if you want to give it a chance then TALK to them (separately at first)
Tell them that you heard this idea - that the 3 of you can work things out for the benefit of all of you and that you can ALL WIN.
Ask your brother what HE thinks of the idea. Ask her.
Write to me privately and I'll help you along your way.
My e-mail is meir69@gmail.com (add "mylot" to the subject so that I don't automatically throw it out).
If you have an IM then we can exchange ID's and have a better connection.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Hey Screwdriver..wait lemme get this straight - if the two of you were such good friends, how come you didn't know that she was in a relationship already??? If you ask me, she's a devious girl. Guess she wants the attention of both you and your brother. My advise- run while you can. Don't get trapped by her false statements. She's playing games and you are the one who could end up getting hurt!!! She's taking advantage of the fact that you and your brother are not on good terms so she can have the best of both worlds and both you and your brother would be unaware of what's happening as the two of you don't keep in touch. Just move on , I know its hard and easier said than done but I had to go through it too so I know. There are plenty of fish in the sea, you just have to catch the right one. You'll get someone who deserves you and will be true to you only. So just push her out of your mind. Good luck.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
10 May 10
this is really sad... i hope you can fix your relationship with your brother soon because no matter what, blood is still thicker than water and it is not worth it to sacrifice your brotherhood relationship just because of a girl... and from your post, it sounds to me that the girl is a player and i don't think she is worth of your love... you will find a much better girl than her in the future eventually... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
10 May 10
Just listening to this, without any feelings or emotions tied up in the relationship... I don't like it.
First she says she's committed to someone else.
Then, you find out it's your brother.
Then, she claims she only got with him, to get your attention.
What would I do? I'd find another girl. Yes, you knew her a long time. Yes, you thought you were in love with her.
But she's playing games now. How do you know she's not just saying that, to get your brothers attention?
Why would she need to get your attention, if she already has it? You sent her a note saying you loved her, and told you she was committed. Now, she was only committed to get your attention?
How can you trust anything she tells you? How do you know she is for 'real' this time? Why wasn't she 'real' with you last time?
There are more girls out there. Billions of them. Go find one that is trustworthy.
@rhodalyn (251)
• Philippines
12 May 10
so heartbreaking!!:(
the girl did the wrong thing..if she do loves you then she should have broke up with your brother at that time..
because of what she did,its not only your relationship with your brother that had ruined..its also the friendship between the two of you!!
if im in your shoes,i dont know what to do!!can't move on either..:(
@jacquiline (124)
• Philippines
10 May 10
here is a little thought to keep:
some people decide to be friends even if the feeling is mutual,
not because love is hard to sustain but because
COMMITMENT complicates everything.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
9 May 10
Oh wow! You know, this is not so unusual that this has happened. It seems to go down like this when it comes to siblings. I think that this girl is playing games here. She should be honest with the both of you on where her feeling stands. It is not fair to you or to your brother that she can't make up her mind on whom she really loves and wants to be with. I am sorry that she is taking you on this roller coaster and merry-go-round. It is time that she tells the truth. She has already broken two hearts.
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
9 May 10
Wow, whatta love story... That's a difficult situation for you, especially the fact that your "competing" with your own brother, your flesh and blood. Anyway! Even if it is unfair, as much as I agree with you, I think it would be wrong if you try to "steal" the girl away from your brother cause technically speaking, he got her first. You're gonna appear the bad guy if you do that. Let the girl decide and make up her mind what to do with her relationship - whether to break up with your brother or not.
@kooltiger (848)
• Pakistan
9 May 10
well my advice would be you should not believe on what she is saying.. when you first proposed her she told you that she loves someone else.. and at that time she did not tell you that she loves you. spending two years with your brother.. now she tells you that she loves you.. that means there can two reasons only.. one can that she is fed up with ur brother and now she wants you.. and 2nd can be that she has realized her love for you after the disconnection from you.. i advice you that you should talk to your brother about her.. and let him know that what she wants.. and everything.. that may help you to know what the truth is... trust in your brother.. he is your first relation not the girl...
@charylady (419)
• Philippines
10 May 10
after all those years of friendship, it looks like you still did not really know this girl. some people are really good at hiding their true selves. while you were friends could you not have dropped hints about your feelings for each other? i mean about taking your friendship to another level? anyway, i think it would be best if you and your brother move on without this girl.
@alexies29 (124)
• Philippines
10 May 10
I don't like the idea of the girl of having your brother as her bf to get your attention. If I were you, I'll try my best to move on. Enjoy being with your friends and meet other people. And also, try to settle things between you and your brother. I think that your brother is innocent.
@alocure (370)
• United States
9 May 10
Wow that's crazy, like previous person said, time to move on. and i agree why would she do that and be with your brother and she wants to be with you after 2 years? thats really some bull crap it really is. just move on and talk to your brother get back on good terms its not his fault she knew what she was doing.
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
9 May 10
Well if she is committed to someone else; perhaps there is someone
else out there for you that won't have a divided heart. If she
would marry you loving someone else the marriage would not last.
@Lazzer007 (53)
•
9 May 10
Time to move on, not an issue that you would stop talking to your brother over it and haven't talked for two years. What if she wasn't seeing your brother what makes you think she still would've been interested in you. We can't make others like you. Just like you like her your brother liked her as well, and she likes your brother in the same as well.
Its time to heal wounds and accept the facts. You must be happy for your brother and wish them best of happiness. She's made her choice likes your brother. Thats reality thats life. Trust me you will feel about this way about someone else soon. Just make it up with your brother.
