Should I blame myself ?
By elleb0418
@elleb0418 (1107)
Philippines
May 9, 2010 5:32pm CST
Sheena and I are very good friends for how many years now.Eventhough we are far from each other, she work in Manila and I am here in Davao but we always talk and exchanging stories what was happening in our day to day lives.
I know about her relationship with our friend also a guy from iloilo.The guy also is very close to me that everytime I had my computer problem I call him through yahoo and he will help me with my problem and fix it.
Yesterday I talk with the guy, he tell me...Ate I have something to tell you, I am already married through civil rites to a girl who is also a nurse from Iloilo.I was shock, because all I know the guy is still in relationship with Sheena.He told me also, actually Ate our visa for Canada has been already approved and our travel will be in July.
I really don't know what to say that time,but I really had the courage to ask him,did Sheena already know the truth?he told me no.To make the story short he got married without ending his relationship with Sheena.Unfair right?
When I told Sheena everything,she cried because she never expect it.I know what she feel.She keeps on telling me that her dreams for him was ended.I don't want to hurt her,but should I blame myself for telling her the truth that made her cry and broke her heart?
What can you say about it,if she is your friend will you tell her? Or I rather keep it to myself and do not care for a friend hoping for nothing?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Hi elle!!
I think it was the right thing to do. One way or another she will still know the truth. It is best that she knew the situation well.I think it was the right thing. I hope that your friend can recover soon. He is not for her and as for him. She should be happy because the one she knew at wasn't the one at all.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
10 May 10
I agree with that I would have done the same thing and it is the right thing to do....
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
That's why I tell her, because she had the right to know what really the truth is. I always gave her advise that there are still many worthy guy, she will met soon in her life.Today she will cry but I know when the time she will recover she will realize that life is still pretty good without him.
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
10 May 10
If I were in your place, I would definitely tell Sheena about the story of her so-called boyfriend. I would not dare prolong the agony by not telling her. A friend should always think of what is best for the other friend, even if it will hurt her.
The truth could either hurt you or make you happy. There is no other way but to accept the truth in order to move on.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Acceptance is the best way to do so that you can move on. I always tell Sheena that, anyway there is someone who is much better and worth than him.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
10 May 10
i don't think that you are doing anything wrong at all... honesty is still the best policy and what you do to your friend is just telling her the truth... nothing else... so you don't have to feel guilty at all... it is better for your friend to know the news sooner anyway rather than later... take care and have a nice day...
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Thank's so much @ lingli...I did feel guilty when the time I heard her crying, but I told her she must know the truth.
@libramie (562)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Even she know it earlier or sooner its still a heart aching. So its be better to know earlier and admit the situation that they're not meant for its other. Don't blame yourself on what was happened instead give her advises to admit easier and move on. Life is beautiful if you color it.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
I told her that after the storm there's always a rainbow waiting.In life we all undergo pain but it's for us how to manage it.Telling the truth and giving advises is the best way I give to her during this time.
@cobrayogesh (174)
• India
10 May 10
what else could you have done ......it might have hurted more if he had married her so its better u ve breaked the news he was a cheater ...it simply meana he did not have the guts to tell her so he used you
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
In this real world usually guys had no guts or courage to tell their girlfriends that they have another or they are doing a mess in their lives. The girls are the one who usually always discover what they are doing, then thats the time they will confirm that it's true but sometimes they will lie still if you don't have a proof even if it's true.
@kreez21 (52)
• Netherlands
10 May 10
Ahh that is really sad, but if I may say so, you did the right thing. As a friend you have an obligation to tell her the truth, even if it hurts. If you didn't tell her then in the end when she finds out, she might feel betrayed.
In my opinion, the best thing that you can do for her is make her feel that you are there to support and help her in anyway that you can
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
As a true friend I am always here for her. Sad things sometimes happen in a relationship maybe they are just not really meant for each other.I know life must go on and Sheena life's must go on without him.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
10 May 10
I agree with alot of the other responders I really think you did the right thing and you aren't the one that hurt her it was her bf that did the act you were being a friend and letting her know the truth.....Even though she is heart broken as it came from you she will need you now....
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Thanks Blue...as a friend we are also hurt when someone fooled our friend.She need to know what is the truth, what if someday she will know it, then she will know also that I know it for a long time already but I did not tell her. Maybe I will more bad if I did tell her right?
@chiepao (714)
• Philippines
10 May 10
It is better for her to know the truth as soon as possible rather than you already knowing it and cheating her yourself. Being a friend doesn't mean that you have to be happy all the times, there are ups and downs in life and this is just one of your friends downs where she needs you most. It is just right that you told her the truth rather than she still living and believing that the guy still loves him.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Yes telling the truth is not bad, All i wanted is for her to know that the man she is dreaming of is already married to someone else.At least I told her the truth.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
14 May 10
The guy should not let the girl hanging and hoping that there is a chance with their relationship... Iloilo and manila is really far but that should not be the guy's excuse. He should have told the girl about the real status of their relationship...
Telling that to your girlfriend is the right thing you did. The girl must know about this. There is nothing left for her anymore... And obviously the guy doesn't have the courage to tell the truth to your girl friend. I pity her for she learned about this late...
Her reaction is normal. No worries, she really need to know the truth and face the pain in order for her to move on. Do not blame yourself that she feels upset and sad for you are just being true to her and you just wanted to cut the wrong hope of your friend.
She will move on and forget in time. Just make her feel that you are always there for her and willing to support her in any ways.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
10 May 10
I suggest you don't say anything. It's not really lying. You're just not saying anything. Besides, the guy is your friend too so i'm sure sheena would understand why you kept quiet all this time.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Sheena extend her thank's to me because she said also that she realize it's better also that this time she know it, rather than dreaming of the impossible things to happen in the future.
@juggerogre (1653)
• Philippines
10 May 10
You did the right thing. Its her right to know the truth. You don't want her to keep living in a fantasy and still hoping that someday her dreams will be fulfilled. Shame on the guy. He got no balls on saying the truth to your friend. Just be there for your friend. Keep on telling her that he's not the right guy for here and help her move on.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Yes I told her to move on.That's the thing I hate most in a guy, without the guts of telling the girl was the real thing or the truth.They should be fair,It's not easy to plays someone's feelings.
