Living together first before marriage
By eM
@eLsMarie (4345)
Philippines
May 26, 2010 8:16pm CST
I think this matter is very much common nowadays especially to lovers living in other countries and I think Philippines also. I just wonder why people tend to practice this kind thing (I'm not against it) because I wanna know what is it's advantage/s? Do you think this is the best way to know your partner well? Is this right? Because there are still a lot of couples who end up having divorce or annulment though they had experience living in together with their chosen partner.
2 people like this
11 responses
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
27 May 10
me and my wife are married for 7 years now and before that we lived together for 3 years. older people say that you wont really know a person unless you live with that person. be with that person from sun up to sun down. me and my wife talked about that, that we dont like t get married and then realize that we cant stand living together in one roof. so we decided to live in together, of course like any other couples there were adjustments, and we faced it like an adult. we made the adjustments and when we think we are ready we saved money then got married. now we have a four year old son. we still have our ups and downs and face it together holding hands and like adults. we can say that we are thankful that we tried to live in together before getting into married life, atleast we know already what we want and what we dont want and our moods. now we still have adjustments to make specially now we have a child. its a never ending adjustments but we have to face it in a matured way.
@xeroeight (1060)
• Philippines
27 May 10
wow that's great to hear a couple facing ups and downs together, well I guess having know your partner very well helps a lot, I think relationship is really continuously self adjustment, well have a great family and never stop adjusting for your love one mostly for your child.
@shibuuya_yuuri (71)
• Philippines
28 May 10
hello there guys!!!
hi xero!
hi els!
hi se7enthbird!
i like this discussion because as of the moment i am living in with my partner. we have a three year old daughter. it is hard to face all the adjustments and the ups and downs. it is true that most couples nowadays ended up with a broken heart and self. it is the influence of the environment and the massive and abrupt changes in our norms and mores..the twist of life's truth, the unacceptable is now acceptable in our society. and that is the main reason why i am scared of knots that would tie me with my partner. i am scared of getting married..not because i cant stand with the trials that we are going to face but i am scared that my partner could not stand his vows. i am scared that i could not forgive him for breaking the life of my child and put her into misery. no child would like to have a broken family. but then i know that later we will be more ready to face another stage in our relationship..right now i do not have any problem with my partner. he is ideal. but i dont wanna get married yet. not just yet..maybe later...and hope not too late..hehehe..
i agree with this set up, living with partner before marriage, so we will know them right through to their bones. we will know their moods as se7enthbird said, and we will be able to adjust and understand them. and besides, it is still somewhat a courting stage and a boyfriend-girlfriend stage. there is thrill, in the sense that we have no hold on our partner in terms of legality, so we always tend to bring our best in order not to lost them..
kudos to all who are living in with their partner....
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
29 May 10
My husband and I lived with each other for a while, before we got married. Personally, I think that it was beneficial, as we were able to learn more about each other and find out more about each other, learn more things about each other, such as what are cleaning habits, and such. Not only was it beneficial for us, but I also imagine that it has been for many other couples. I think that it allows a couple to learn more intimate details about each other, details that they may not necessarily be able to learn otherwise.
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
28 May 10
It's always nice to take something for a test run before buying it. But I know my mother will just kill me and bury me in the backyard if I dare try that.
I admit I am a bit conservative when it comes to marriage. It is difficult to live with someone who is not your flesh and blood for the first time, whether married or not. I think though that a person will make more effort if he/she knows that it is more difficult to dissolve the union. Life takes work and so does marriage. I am realistic enough to know though that there really are some people who should not be anywhere near another human being. But that's what a divorce is for.
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
Your mom seems to be very tough TheAdvocate. 
Divorce makes people's or couple's lives easier, is that what your saying? Divorce can contribute a lot unlike annulment but do you think that because of this, people tend to commit more mistakes in choosing their partners?
Divorce makes people's or couple's lives easier, is that what your saying? Divorce can contribute a lot unlike annulment but do you think that because of this, people tend to commit more mistakes in choosing their partners?
@rhazebustamante (89)
• Philippines
28 May 10
Yes, this scenario has been a trend nowadays. Although I don't totally agree with the thing but it has advantages like knowing the person more. I guess knowing a person inside and out takes a lot of time and by living together you get to observe and discover how both of you deal with things. Which i think would prepare both of you to a much stronger life ahead.
@alexies29 (124)
• Philippines
27 May 10
Living together is technically wrong, just like PMS. However, I think it's better than getting married and getting an annulment or divorce after knowing the true colors of the person that you married. Living together is not the only and the best way to know somebody, but it's one way to find out if you can live to live with the person that you love for the rest of your life. For me, it decreases the number of separated couples. When you have already lived together with the person, that means that you've already adjusted to that kind of living. You've tried sleeping and waking up together and you've seen each other's faults. Although it won't really give you that much of a guarantee that the marriage will be successful, but at least you've tried and you know what to expect.
@alexies29 (124)
• Philippines
27 May 10
Living together is technically wrong, just like PMS. However, I think it's better than getting married and getting an annulment or divorce after knowing the true colors of the person that you married. Living together is not the only and the best way to know somebody, but it's one way to find out if you can live to live with the person that you love for the rest of your life. For me, it decreases the number of separated couples. When you have already lived together with the person, that means that you've already adjusted to that kind of living. You've tried sleeping and waking up together and you've seen each other's faults. Although it won't really give you that much of a guarantee that the marriage will be successful, but at least you've tried and you know what to expect.
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
Hi alexies29! I hope you don't mind me asking but what is meant by PMS? I think that's the real challenge when it comes to ending up with somebody. People should learn to live with their chosen partners and they should make such efforts to continue their relationship.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
27 May 10
hello else,
that's the trend because for most couples it's cheaper that way. if they realize they kept finding and not match with both of they're interest, they can split with out spending everything.
I guess for most of these couples it's better than getting married and then getting an expensive divorce or annulment, which is really frustrating
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Hello Letran! Who's that guy on your avatar? I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you married? I just wanna know the views of someone who's married and never tried living together first with their partner instead they got married first. I guess, to sum up everything that you said, practically is their way of easily escaping if it doesn't fits for them or whatever.
@kharlav (1669)
• Philippines
27 May 10
I dont believe in living together before marriage, because usually end up not getting married at all. They may just be used to living together that marriage is no longer a necessity for them. For me I dont need to get to live with the person just to get to know him. If people would just listen to God, whom He has prepared for you then people wont need to look for a partner in life and risk things to get to know a person.
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Hello kharlav... I can surely say that you were the first person who express your negative views or should I say your opposing views towards this matter. I think that you are a very much principled person and I salute you for that. Thank you very much for spending some time... It meant so much to me.
I can surely say that you were the first person who express your negative views or should I say your opposing views towards this matter. I think that you are a very much principled person and I salute you for that. Thank you very much for spending some time... It meant so much to me. @xeroeight (1060)
• Philippines
27 May 10
For me its a way to know your partner well if you both are compatible or ready to get stable in life, because married is something solemn.
In our country Philippines I also seeing many couple who live in the same house even they are not married, I think its getting normal now a day to see such couple, well is better to know your partner well before getting married.
@emdyey09 (264)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
It is very convenient of course. You don't have to get married, which is very costly if you have to do it right. If the relationship did not work out you just pack your things and leave, and you don't have to file an annulment where you have to cash out a lot of resources if you're the one filing. It gives you the benefits of married life without the hassle. As I said, it is convenient.
But here in the Philippines, we hold the sanctity of marriage and the union of a man and woman. It is actually branded as a sin by the Filipino society if you're living in with your partner. If you're Filipino who don't have a reputation to loose, this very convenient set-up will work better for you.
@zhangxia (87)
• China
27 May 10
cohabitation is not that bad before marriage .it's from the perceptive of a man .as for a man ,i would not worry about dinner ,there is one out there prepare the dinner .and she is always in my view .of course she is gorgeous .so my eye always fill of beauty .it's the happiest thing in the world .
but even the beautify will tired your eye .so ,keep distance is really a good thing .give myself a imagination ,wonderful things in my mind .
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
Hello zhangxia! I'm a bit confuse with your post and I want to clarify some stuffs a bit. Would that be okay? So... Here it goes... You're telling me that living together with or without marriage is okay and long distance relationships tend to give more spice in a relationship, is that what you're saying?
Would that be okay? So... Here it goes... You're telling me that living together with or without marriage is okay and long distance relationships tend to give more spice in a relationship, is that what you're saying? 