Adopt my baby!!!
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
Philippines
May 28, 2010 11:45am CST
Okay, first, read this discussion carefully. I know some of us, who just get overwhelmed with their emotions and responds like machine guns...
Why "Adopt my baby"? I was online yesterday when one of my friend messaged me if I knew of an orphanage. I was surprised and I got emotional. Because I know how much she wanted to get pregnant and have a baby. She and her husband had even hormone and fertility therapy to help them with that problem. I know, it was not an easy decision for them to consider adoption. And I never suggested it to her, so she won't lose her hopes of conceiving a child. I even avoided to ask her about how the therapy was going. Because I could sense her being stressed about it.
I was happy it was only through chat, because I got a bit teary-eyed. And I asked her if she already told someone else about this. She said no, only I, knew about her plans to adopt. So I felt a big responsibility to support and help her in searching for an orphanage and if possible a baby.
I ask some friends and one gave me an address. I tried to recall some orphanage I have volunteered or visited before. But I could only remember "Elsie Gaches" but it is an orphanage for children with disabilities. So what I did, I searched the internet.
I tried keywords like, orphanage, Philippines orphanage, because we are here in the Philippines etc....I decided to type in "Adopt a baby". And I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw posts from women who were in their 4 month or less of their pregnancy. And they were like advertising that they couldn't take care of their child. And they were ready for adoption once the child was born. I remember one, her due date is this coming August.
It even cross my mind to take down the number. But I also thought, it is not safe to adopt from another person, without papers and everything. And I don't know if it would be safe to meet with that woman. What if you invest in taking care of her and at the end, she changed her mind? Or what if she gave up her child and after some months, you are facing kidnapping charges?
I don't know if I felt sorry, sad or so bad that it is unfortunate that there are a lot of people who want to have children; while others are advertising that they would give up their baby once he/she is born.
Maybe it will be for the best interest of the child? Maybe it is more responsible to give him/her up instead of letting them starved and begged on the street?
What do you think about it? If you came across an "Adopt my baby" posts? How would you feel? Is it a cry for help? Or is it sad but yet it makes you angry? (^^,)
Why "Adopt my baby"? I was online yesterday when one of my friend messaged me if I knew of an orphanage. I was surprised and I got emotional. Because I know how much she wanted to get pregnant and have a baby. She and her husband had even hormone and fertility therapy to help them with that problem. I know, it was not an easy decision for them to consider adoption. And I never suggested it to her, so she won't lose her hopes of conceiving a child. I even avoided to ask her about how the therapy was going. Because I could sense her being stressed about it.
I was happy it was only through chat, because I got a bit teary-eyed. And I asked her if she already told someone else about this. She said no, only I, knew about her plans to adopt. So I felt a big responsibility to support and help her in searching for an orphanage and if possible a baby.
I ask some friends and one gave me an address. I tried to recall some orphanage I have volunteered or visited before. But I could only remember "Elsie Gaches" but it is an orphanage for children with disabilities. So what I did, I searched the internet.
I tried keywords like, orphanage, Philippines orphanage, because we are here in the Philippines etc....I decided to type in "Adopt a baby". And I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw posts from women who were in their 4 month or less of their pregnancy. And they were like advertising that they couldn't take care of their child. And they were ready for adoption once the child was born. I remember one, her due date is this coming August.
It even cross my mind to take down the number. But I also thought, it is not safe to adopt from another person, without papers and everything. And I don't know if it would be safe to meet with that woman. What if you invest in taking care of her and at the end, she changed her mind? Or what if she gave up her child and after some months, you are facing kidnapping charges?
I don't know if I felt sorry, sad or so bad that it is unfortunate that there are a lot of people who want to have children; while others are advertising that they would give up their baby once he/she is born.
Maybe it will be for the best interest of the child? Maybe it is more responsible to give him/her up instead of letting them starved and begged on the street?
What do you think about it? If you came across an "Adopt my baby" posts? How would you feel? Is it a cry for help? Or is it sad but yet it makes you angry? (^^,)6 people like this
18 responses
@consultrainer (4991)
• India
28 May 10
i am one, who never leaves the chance to rant, and write a lot. but, all I can add to your own feelings here is...
that I am too teary eyed.
for the couple, for the would-be mothers, and FOR the unborn, .. and, for our own FUTURE world! ... 
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
28 May 10
Thank you Consultrainer! I think in this kind of situation, ranting would never benefit it. And yes, me too, I have so much emotions bubbling up to my throat. I can't imagine being in that situation. Not having a child and to give up your own child. Let's us hope for a better Future and world for our children and their children and every other human beings...(^^,)
1 person likes this
@consultrainer (4991)
• India
28 May 10
i join you ! ... let us try to make this a better place for all our children and theirs too!
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
Thank you again Consultrainer! Have a blessed day! (^^,)
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
29 May 10
all those worries and apprehensions can be taken cared of by a good adoption lawyer... you friend need not even meet the mother, you know... and they can even do some background check on the mother, prior to adoption... say, check the family background for any unsavory record or tendencies that my later on pose as a problem... all these things can be done discreetly... so that in the end, they will live happily ever after... the kid, not knowing his/her biological parents... and the mother, not knowing the adoptive parents... to be worked upon and set up by a good adoption lawyer...
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
1 Jun 10
Yup, I will definitely said that too them...Thank you my friend for your very helpful advices...(^^,)@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
31 May 10
if they want to have a clean arrangements... all attachments become strictly confidential, all they have to do is make those visits, have a choice... and let the lawyer take care of the rest...
1 person likes this
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
29 May 10
I find it sad that any mother can not keep her child if she wanted to keep it. There is so much birth control available that I don't understand getting pregnant if you don't want to have a child (or at least here in the US there is all kinds available).
I remember working with a lady that wanted a baby so bad then they found out she was pregnant. We both quit the job and I didn't see her for a couple years then one day I seen her in a store and we talked. Her husband had gone to jail and she had put their baby up for adoption because she couldn't care for her. I felt so sad for her!
All the questions you ask are very good and should be considered. I would never enter into anything like this without an attorney and I think if it was me I would wait until after the baby was born and that would take the stress out of worrying about what happens if the mother changed her mind.
1 person likes this
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
31 May 10
It is almost June!!! Say a prayer for guidance in this decision.
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Yes, I will my dear friend. I really need guidance into this and it is a very big responsibility. I don't want to be blame if ever something will go wrong. But hopefully with a lot of prayers and guidance, everyone will end up happy. (^^,)
(^^,)@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
30 May 10
That's so true. I think my friend would never treat her adopted child differently if ever she gets to have other children. We are set to visit some orphanages this coming June. Hopefully they will be happy soon..(^^,)
@laglen (19759)
• United States
28 May 10
I think giving up your baby even if you know it is the right thing to do is very hard. I would say that if these women are trying to find loving homes for their children, they are being very responsible. Have your friend do it through a lawyer and make sure she knows the laws and her rights. This is far better than having a baby and putting them in the trash. I have no problem with women that make this choice. Not every body is cutout for having children. This is a much better alternative to abortion.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
29 May 10
When she adopted that child, she became his mother. What does a mother do when her child is troubled? You get him help. You give him love. I guess she was counting on a perfect child. Well now hopefully she will not get another chance. do you know, after she put that child on the plane, she started the process to adopt another!
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
Very very awful, I was really shocked too when I heard the story on the news. It think she should be given sanctions for such an horrible act. I don't know if her allegations of the boy being violent etc. But it is not fair and it is so wrong to have put him on that plane back alone. (^^,)
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
29 May 10
I think it is sad that adverts in the Philippines say "adopt my baby". I think it is not legal to just give baby to someone. Paperwork would have to be done with an adoption in my home country. It is sad that in some places in the world there are some unwanted children. I wish each of those children got a loving home. If I saw a "adopt my baby" advert I would feel sorry for the baby and the mother. Maybe such an advert is a cry for help. I think if a person wishes to adopt it should be done legally and properly. Imagine trying to get a passport for an adopted child. There might not be a birth certificate for example. Imagine if a lady from Manila adopts a little baby girl. Four years later the birth mother comes looking for her child. The two ladies fight over the little girl. It would be an emotional nightmare.
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Hi Maximax8! That would be so heartbreaking and horrible if it came to the point that they will be fighting over the child after so much years. The distress it would create on the child. And yes, everything should be done legally to avoid that. It is also illegal here in the Philippines to adopt without papers, even within relatives. I hope that child, that cry for help, will end up in good ears, of loving and descent parents. You can never be too cautious these days. It is just sad to think that those "unwanted" innocent children suffer the consequences of such actions. (^^,)
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Jun 10
It is sad that people have children who don't want them when other people can't have children. But it is even sadder when people have children and abuse them. At least these people who are trying to find adoptive parents (if they are honest) are trying to do the best thing for their baby.
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
Yes, indeed, Dawnald, it is sadder when people abuse and hurt their children. At least, with honest intentions, like you said, they are better parents. Because they haven't resorted to abortion or killing their child. trying to do the best thing for their baby. (^^,)
(^^,)
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
29 May 10
Well, there are always two sides to a story.. Some cases might be real, and they really want a good life for their babies, yet they dun have the ability and thus they have it up for adoption..
IF i were to come across such post, i will rather believe in it, because a life saved is definitely far better than seeing it die, right?? Regardless of how the biological parents wanna deal with it, when the child has grown up, it's all up to them, and of course, the child him/herself..
We have already done our part, and that's good enough..
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Thank you Kun! Yes, it is better than seeing it die or in abortion. But we can never be too cautious. Because some wicked people prey on the longing of others for children, their weaknesses, to extort money or even do harm. I do believe that some are very genuine and that's makes me sad too. And hopefully, those children will find loving home. (^^,)
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
29 May 10
I would have mixed reactions in case i will read something like that. Adopt my baby...that sounds almost like a plea for help. The mere fact that the mother is willing to carry the child for nine months until it will be born. There is still a mother concern in there the only thing is that she can't provide for the well being of the child.
For me it's better that they will ask for help to raise the baby. The good thing is that they did not resort in doing abortion because it will be a mortal sin. As for your friend maybe if she will take time to adopt there will be a chance that she can have a baby of her own. It happens to one of our neighbors. They adopted a child because they give up hope in having one. But few months their adopted baby live with them his wife become pregnant. That is two blessing given by God.
@raleyfamily (132)
• United States
29 May 10
I haven't read all the replies, but I can tell you this as an adoptive mother: whether your friend goes through an orphange, a domestic adoption, an international adoption, a private adoption with some lady she meets on the internet, or an agency, there will be NO adoption here in the United States without a homestudy, court, and judge, so she may as well get going on that. Adoption is serious business, and there is no other way around it. It's also against the law to exchange money for a baby. Your friend needs to consult an adoption lawyer and get the correct information. What a terrible thing if she doesn't do this right, and the mother of the child comes back for her baby in a couple of years!
All tht said, if your friend doesn't have a lot of money, there are THOUSANDS of children who needs home in the foster care system. If she chooses this route, the adoption will be virtually free, because the state will pay it all. If she will foster first, chances are good she can get a newborn. I have adopted three of my foster children. Check out my blog for stories on fostering and foster/adoption:
http://raleyfamilyfarm.com
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
Hi Jamed! It is a blessing indeed to embrace a child that is not yours and yet will be loved and treated like your own. I hope my friend will find her happiness soon. I am working on it too to help her as much as I can. Godbless you too. And thank you for your response! (^^,)
@Saranggola (956)
• Philippines
29 May 10
For me, never let a child think that he was just a fruit of carelessness and or he's unwanted. People should be responsible especially on having a baby.
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
That's so true Saranggola. But the bad side is that there are so many irresponsible individuals that blame the innocent child for their carelessness. When in fact they were irresponsible. In our country too, this is so rampant. And especially in the young population...It's so sad..and very scary...Thank you for responding Saraggola(^^,)
@sagar21 (1579)
• India
29 May 10
Hey,
I don't know the emotions of a parent since I'm not but I've felt it.....I was born to my parents at their 40's,I'm saying this because I've an elder brother...he was adopted when the Dr said they have no chance for a baby...I felt egoistic at my younger days..but later on it changed,I've got so much love from my brother..
My parents they give us the same preference..love.....
I think adopted children have more affection to their parents.....
I used to quarrel with my parents...lately my brother told me "You fool,you don't know what it feels without parents.."
I felt shocked and ashamed of myself...Oh my brother I'm sorry..
Now he is working as Pediatrician,he loves to care the kids..
[b]I think God is creating some parents to look after those without parents...
Someone should guide the child to face hi life ahead...am I correct..?[/b]
1 person likes this
@mhekhies16 (462)
• Philippines
29 May 10
First, I will just know what is the reason of that post.. :)
Of course, I will feel sorry for the child..but if it is the only way for the mother to save her child..I think, I agree with that..I understand them why they should do that..ofcourse there's a reason behind it.
@mille_0419 (45)
• Philippines
29 May 10
this is just sad..I'm a Filipino too and I think those people who posts thing like "adopt my child etc" while she's pregnant are usually teen moms or people who are not yet ready to have a child.. my aunt adopted a kid too cause they wanted to have a little kid roaming around..so i really admire those people who are very much willing to adopt someone who are not really part of their family and for those who abort their kids they should think million times..imagine all those couples who are not capable of bearing a child and even if you are the parent of that kid you should know their rights..and street children are really crowding our streets..and i remembered when I was watching a documentary they even said that they don't want to go to an orphanage but just stay in the streets..
btw..goood luck in finding an orphanage! :) they are very admirable for doing that.. :)
1 person likes this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Thank you Mille! We are set to start by June to search for an orphanage. And hopefully my friend and her husband will make a child happy. I also admire her for that. And I agree with you, it is very noble to adopt, take care of a child that is not even related to you. Your aunt too, she has a good heart.
I hope with the new government officials this year. The street children problem will be resolved. It is sad to see children on the street. And also for the parents of those children. Because primarily they are responsible for them. By the way, Welcome to Mylot. Happy Mylotting! (^^,)
@Celanith (2327)
• United States
29 May 10
It shows the mother has made some very hard and often heartbreaking decisions, by putting the well being of her unborn or new born child before her own self. It is legal as long as there are some sort of attorney's involved in the transactions.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
28 May 10
it also makes me sad. not angry as i feel these mothers care about the life in them. they know they cant take care of them but chose life and i dont believe in abortion or killing the child when its born. so many girls here in USA have actually thrown their babies in the trash and/or killed them after birth
now thats what makes me angry. not a girl thats made a mistake and dont want to make another one. your friend should be willing to go through with a lawyer and that would insure the right papers to be drawn up. 
@zralte (4178)
• India
29 May 10
I would probably feel sad and may be enraged depending on the situation. It is a cruel world we live in, where people who really wants to have a baby and who can afford to give a baby a good life, are the ones who cannot have baby. And people who are irresponsible or poor are the ones who get unwanted pregnancy.
I ask the question so many time: In these days and age, why do we still have to deal with unwanted pregnancy? Are we really stupid? Okay, I understand that there are accidents even if you use contraceptives. But how many 'accidents' really happen. It is mostly because we are not careful enough.
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
That's so true Zralte! I also agree with you on that. I was posting a while ago, it is not rocket science to avoid getting pregnant. I also don't understand how many of those accidents we have in this advance stage in our century. I don't mind if people wants to be happy and have fun. But at least, they should be responsible of their actions and bear the consequences. At least, they know that it is not the flower and the bees no more. And they should do something about it. It is indeed a cruel world. But, if a child finds a loving home and loving parents through adoption. There is still balance in a way. And I just hope and pray that my friend will find her happiness soon. (^^,)
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
29 May 10
Thank you so much Zralte! Yes, soon, hopefully, with a lot of support, help and prayers. Have a nice day Zralte! And thank you for responding! (^^,)
@zralte (4178)
• India
29 May 10
I am sure she would. It is the balance of nature that there are some good people who are loving and willing to give someone's baby a home and a family.
I wish your friend good luck in finding a baby which is perfect for her. May she finds happiness.
1 person likes this
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
29 May 10
That is so very sad.
For a woman to be so desperate that she has to offer her baby for adoption in such a way.
I do think though if they really can't keep the child they would be better giving them to an official orphanage so that they could be adopted legally
I do think though if they really can't keep the child they would be better giving them to an official orphanage so that they could be adopted legally1 person likes this
