Finding out a baby is disabled

While I feel abortion is murder I understand why it's offered to mothers who are pregnant and discover their child is disabled. Sometimes a mother isn't prepared to take care of a disabled child and must be made aware of her options early enough so something that can be done. Saddly I wish it wasn't an option, but it has to be. Being honest with the woman is the main thing. Lying from the start won't give the parents the right oppertunity to make a well-thought-out informed desion. and each child and mother should have this chance. How doctors handle it (from what I've seen) is just fine for now. As for disibilites, Cerbral palsy is another common one (usually not discovered until later in the pregncey). As for autisim, I don't have a problem with it. Its just something some people have to live with.

I have read somewhere about a woman who was about to give birth to a child who has down syndrom but she did not had an abortion but chose to let the baby live. I admire the woman because it was not easy to raise such a child but still the woman was able to give her son all he needs including the most unconditional love. That story made me cry.

We found out last year that my four year old grandson is autistic, he's a very bright, loving child we just have to phrase things logically for him. One example is that he used to have toilet 'accidents' at school, the staff there asked him if he had had an accident and he would say no. As far as he was concerned he hadn't hurt himself so he hadn't had an accident. My youngest daughter is about 3 months pregnant and has refused the tests for Downs syndrome as she knows the child will be loved and cared for whatever happens. We recently had a discussion about it being more practical to introduce people to the parents of disabled children so they can be at least partly prepared for the extra work involved. We decided it works out cheaper for the health service if a disabled child is aborted.

it's a shock to find there is something wrong with your unborn child. i think the doctor should be the one, telling parents that they have a abnormality with their child. it's about the only time, i'd think of abortion. as it i a long and very hard road, raising a child that has a disablity. technolgy has come so far we can find out it anything is wrong before hand. my son has verbal dyspraxia, it does not come out till talking age. it took me a long time to get him diagonsed as well. i had to tell the speech pathologist, we'd been going no where for near 18 months. and that i'd rather be told he had a problem than contuine the way we were. got a result at that point and had to push hard on getting him things. he's now going good at school, and is getting better at speech and will eventually gorw out of it. i agree people with disabilties seem to be a lot happier with life than those of us who are normal. i know of a friends sister who has downs, she is somewhere between 70 and 80 i think. she has lived longer that expected for someone born back then, with downs. thou she is detiorating now, from what i was told.

There's no real way to tell a parent this that will make them feel any better. You just have to do it privately and with respect. Yeah I suppose I can agree about they should give those children a chance but I think it depends on the condition. If its something that's going to cause the child suffering and pain his/her whole life then no I just can't see putting them through that. To me that would be a selfish thing to do to them.

You are right. Everyone has the right to live. Maybe I can say that abortion as an option varies depending what culture you are in. In our country, whatever the situation of the baby is, abortion is not offered by doctors. So far that's what I know. I am not just certain if others are doing it secretly.

I know alot of times the tests are wrong. Having a child that has cerebral palsy, I don't know what I would have done if they told me ahead of time. I am glad they did not. I think before they offer to abort, they should thoroughly educate them so they can make the decision. You have to do what you think is right. I would never have thought that I could do what I have done for my son. As for autism. I think they should provide more help in dealing with it. I think it is easier dealing with a child with physical disabilities than one that has autism. I think it would be extremely trying on your emotional state all the time.

I know of just a few, autism included. I'm not sure how a hospital should handle such a thing. It must be hard for them to have to tell a pregnant woman that her unborn baby is disabled, at least for those that have a heart anyway. As far as autism goes, I think it sucks. Don't get me wrong, I love my oldest dearly, but the autism thing can be difficult to deal with, more so than people may realize. Of course typical kids can be hard to raise too, but at least they can live a "normal" life when it comes down to it. The same cannot always be said for autistic kids, especially those that happen to be more autistic than others, like my son. There is a bright side to it though. My oldest is one of the most loving kids around (...when he isn't having a meltdown). There aren't too many kids that will hug/cuddle/give kisses to their parents at 13 years old! LOL Happy mylotting!

You decision is right of not letting the abortion happen. How is your child right now? It seems you are happy. I am not aware of other disability. Why does a child have to suffer like that?? I know it be quite difficult to raise a child like that, it requires a lot of understanding and acceptance. I admire parents who accept their child with disability. They are brave and they are really strong. No matter what their child is to be, there is no problem for them. They can face the future with heads up and they will be fine. On the other hand it is a doctor’s job to say the truth about the health of their patients, because it is also for their patient.

The hospital should calmly tell the person what the condition is and offer them information about it. As for anything else, such as an abortion, such things should be handled very delicately. As for autism, my son has autism. He is high functional and doing very well. I have no worries that he won't be able to grow up and do just fine.

I think the parent(s) should meet other parents whose child has the same disability or people who work with children with disabilities to get an idea of what life will be like, looking after a child with a disability. I think people are offered abortion as a easy way out, it isnt really a solution as you will be left thinking about what life that baby might have. Also you dont know how disabiled the child may be as there are mild and severe forma of each disabilites. Not sure if that is worded correctly but Im not sure how else to descibe what I mean!! I hope it makes sense x

I do not know much about disabilities but since I am also 6months pregnant, I know what down's syndrome and all is. I was scared that for my bad deeds, God would punich me with a disabled child...any disability, physical or mental...so far the physical health of the foetus is good...hopefully it is the case mentally too...I have seen one of my relatives attending to her physically and mentally disabled daughter for 17 years...she literally did everything for her...the girl was so tiny and always bed ridden...it takes a lot of patience and will power to do that...I doubt whether I would have been able to do so had I been her mother...I know very few disabilities like autism, dislexia and all.

Hello Maxi, Every child is a gift from God, and I appreciate you for respecting life. I just couldn't imagine how a hospital would tell a pregnant woman that her baby is disabled. If I would be the one then my heart could have been torn to pieces. My eldest son was diagnosed to have hydrocephalus when he was a newborn, but turned out to be a misdiagnosis and it was cerebral palsy. Me and my husband took turns in taking care of him, He even gave up his work for nine years just to take care of our son. Year 2006 when my son has ruptured appendix which almost got his life, and when he was operated the doctors found out that he also has congenital bands in his intestines that's why most of the time he would vomit after eating and it will take him a week before eliminating waste. My son is now 22 years old and he brings joy in our family. He tries to call the attention of his younger brothers even if he cannot communicate well. I have search that many sickness if not all are no longer incurable. Advancement in technology has given hope to lots of parents with disabled children to be cured, like an article I've read about "Stem Cell Theraphy ". An autistic child became a genius by using food supplements which comes from different herbs. Your son is only 3 years old, A lot of miracles will happen in his life, Just cling to God and let's bear in mind that God gave us our special children because he knows that we will love and take good care of them. God Bless!

When I was pregnant, I refused to have the AFP blood test as I said I would want to keep my babies, whatever was wrong with them. I have 4 children, all are teenagers. One has ADHD, one is bipolar, another has ADHD and Aspergers. None of these were evident at birth, but if they had been, it wouldn't matter. I used to teach in a Nursery School and there was a lovely little girl with Down's Syndrome. My daughter with bipolar developed that at 19, so kids can become ill at any age. I think all children can be tiring, stressful and a worry, no matter whether they have problems or not.

Hi Maximax I think a lot of People are very scared of the thought I know I would have been but would not have gone for an abortion I personally think there should counselling offered to Parents for this sort of thing not saying get rid They scare Parents instead of helping them, yes I can well imagine that it is very hard, I have met disabled Children, they are so loving and I really wish there was more support for them and their Parents

Hi maxi~ I had no idea that your 3 year old son had spina bifida! My sweet 21 year old neighbor who I am very fond of does too! I don't want to go into details or scare you because every child is different, but she has had a rough go of it. She is always collecting money, doing whatever she can to help this disease. She is such a wonderful and strong young woman! I have known her for quite a few years now and watched her grow from a young girl, through her teenage years to now! I love her dearly and have spent many times with her when she wasn't feeling well and her Mom, who isn't well either was in the hospital. She lives in my building and I would do anything for her or this "Cause". If there is anything I can do or if there is something that you need to know I will get her in touch with you! She is really into finding some kind of cure for this disease! You can write me Opal2626@yahoo.com and I will find a way to get her in touch with you. Her name is Heather.

I really don't know how the hospital should handle telling a pregnant woman her child is disabled since I never have been pregnant. I think they should be very tactful about it. She might still get upset about it. You never know. I was born in 1952 and as I'm sure you already know, there was not way of telling back then whether a baby was disabled or not before it was born. Technology wasn't as advanced as it is now. After I was born, the doctor told my parents that I had slow motor skills. In other words, I had a learning disability. I was told that daddy was very upset about it and he stomped out of the room. They were in denial about it and they never told me about it. I have suspected it over the years, though. I think it would have been better if they had told me about it, though. I'm just glad it's nothing more severe. I'm also aware that there's not much you can tell about a little baby and doctors can be wrong sometimes. I don't think I know all the names of disabilities. I know about ADHD and autism. As far as autism is concerned, I don't really know that much about it. There seems to be a lot of different forms of it because we have a lot of children who are autistic who ride the horses at the therapeutic riding center where I volunteer. It really is worth it to see the smile on their faces when they are riding a horse. The girl I ride with on the drill team out there is somewhat autistic.

You know if you really think about things that are passed genetically are a disability also; I was a normal child and birth lived a normal birth; I was hyper as a child was about it..... The hypernes did not start to affect me until adulthood; I have also got fibromylagia...... they do not know the cause but my mom, sister and I all have it...... What really scares me is the future of technology when it comes to things of this nature..... We if you are normal in the womb but they would be able to tell future disabilities........ When that time comes I am afraid the way the Congress and President is handling abortion at this time the abortion will be on the rise like we have never seen before.....

My best friend was born with spina bifida and she told me that she has 1 out 3 chance of giving birth to a child with spina bifida too. She is now in her 40s and is with someone but they have decided not to have a child because they are not comfortable with the odds. Personally, I was not too impressed with their decision. We were classmates since grade school and I was impressed with the way she handled her condition, even going on to become a doctor. She also told me that her mother knew before she was born that she had spina but still continued with the pregnancy. There is no easy way of breaking it to parents. I say that a hospital should just tell parents as kindly as possible.

Before I relay my personal experience I want to be clear that I am very pro-choice, this is a completely personal decision that every woman has to make for herself. That being said, when I was 5 months pregnant with my second child she was diagnosed as having a very serious congenital heart defect. I was given the option of abortion at that point and after struggling long and hard, I decided I could not do it no matter what was wrong with my baby. I went through an incredibly difficult pregnancy, and finally gave birth to my daughter Hannah. At two days old she had major surgery on her heart, she did well for five days after the surgery, when she aspirated her formula and could not be revived. She was one week old. It is the most horrific thing i have ever had to go through, and I will never be the same because of it. Despite that however, I still believe I made the right choice. I'm incredibly glad that I was able to know and love Hannah, even if she was taken from us far too soon.