Parental Jealousy
By elfbwillow
@elfbwillow (307)
June 2, 2010 10:50am CST
On opening this discussion I want to point out firstly that there is no parental jealousy at all within our little family though recently I have come across a few different situations in which I have seen this happen.
When I say parental jealousy I mean when a mother is jealous of her daughter or even when a mother is jealous of her partner spending time with her daughter (or the other way around with fathers and sons).
Two situations have presented themselves infront of me;
The first lady has teenage daughters. She is always moaning, and even crying, because her daughters are very pretty and have many friends and one is about to start a great college course - something this lady was never able to do. My confusion is why be jealous? Me personally am so proud of my daughters looks - she is far prettier than myself and is so intellegent even now at the age of two. I have good qualifications though if my daughter does even better than me (which would be great) then I would be so happy for her. Where andwhy does jealousy like this come into it? Shouldnt you be proud of your children and not put them down or dislike them because they are prettier than you or doing things in their life that you never did?
The second situation occured in my husbands ex relationship. The mother of his daughter was a lot closer to my husband than she was to her mother as he spent a lot of time playing with her and she didnt though she would then take it out on her daughter and hated seeing them together. She would practically force their daughter to come to her if she was hurt or for anything and tried to stop their daughter even cuddling her dad (and this was when they were together). Perhaps she regretted the fact that she had not taken the time to grow close to their daughter though it seemed to my husband more of a jealousy thing. She didnt like her daughter giving her partner more attention and also the other way around - she hated the fact that her partner was giving more attention to their daughter than her. I love seeing my daughter and husband play together and generally spend time together. Sometimes she will want me over my husband and other times it is the other way around and I love just sitting watching them together.
So what makes these parents jealous of their own children?? I just dont understand it
1 person likes this
5 responses
@ShadowofHope2010 (173)
• United States
3 Jun 10
This is a very good question, elbwillow.
First of all, I think that these mothers have always wanted to be the best, and don't like it when someone else is better than them, even if it's their own daughter. These kinds of people are immature, insecure, and need to get over themselves.
I know I have my faults, and I try to teach my own children from my mistakes, especially my 14 year old. I am always encouraging her to go out and do things, and trying farther than her best. I know that she is much smarter than me in some ways, and sometimes prettier than me. But she came from me, and that's all that matters. She is mine and God's creation. If she is more successful than me in life, I will be absolutely proud of her for making a difference.
My other 2 daughters are very close to their father (they have a different father than my 14 year old) and very much spoiled by him. Whenever he's at home, they chose him over me. When he's not, they come to me. I am it, that yes, I feel some form of jealously, but I don't give in to them and they respect me more than they do him.
Besides, they are Daddy's Girls, and I'm not going to intrude upon their relationship.
Never will I be in spite of my children because they have more than I did when I was their age. Instead, I am so happy and proud for them, because I know that they will have a much better life than I had growing up in Panama.
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
3 Jun 10
I believe each and every person faces their own issues in life.
And at the bottom of each issue that we have involves only ourselves.
Being content with what we have and do not have would be the best way to live our lives. It'll be easier to share our blessings with other people, be happy for another person's happiness, if we have contentment in our hearts.
Parents jealous at their own children does not always cross our minds, because we have looked at our parents as nurturers, selfless and providers.
They are the ones who will stick by our side when everyone has turn their backs on us, they are the people who will be most happy for whatever success or milestone we achieve. But sadly, as perfectly as we want to look at them, they're also human, they have history, they have issues of their own.
They have their share of frustrations growing up.
So it is not completely surprising that a mother can be jealous of her daughter.
I think it's just a matter of being at peace with yourself and your past, learning to love oneself for who you are and who you're not, when we have accepted what our past has made of us, then we can face future with more love in our hearts.
@ellie333 (21016)
•
2 Jun 10
Hi Elfbwillow, This I find so sad because as a parent of 3 wonderful children I am so proud of what they all do and are. In fact my girls are indeed very beautiful and my son a handsome boy and I joke that they got all the best bits ofboth parents as neither of us are lookers lol. Jealously is not good in any walk of life but to be jealous of your own blood is just plain crazy. Thesepeople must be so insecure. huggles. Ellie :D
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
2 Jun 10
I do not understand situations like that either. I, too, love watching my husband and children, rather it be one of the boys, or our daughter, play or interact together. He is such a wonderful father to them all.
As for my daughter, we have problems, some say we are too much alike...but she is most definitely a very beautiful girl, or woman I should say, as she is 20 years old now. She has done some paid modeling so that should tell you I am not prejudiced towards her when I say she is beautiful, and I am proud of her for that. Not jealous. I love seeing her succeed and try to make something of her life.
Mothers or fathers who are jealous of their children are not parents at all but just immature little children themselves.
@ohiocy (214)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 10
Hmmm.. That is indeed something that is very weird. I have never heard of such things before, this is my first. Anyways I guess the lady that is going through parental jealousy is having some inferiority complex or stuff like that that messes up with the head and personality. Perhaps she should head over to the local psychologist for check up, just in case.
