What’s the deal with passing off responsibility?

there are most of the parents who are working and are benough and they usally opt for these kind of classes and summercamps and all, so that their child is in safe hands and also learn at the same time but i know even the child is not happy with this as always being away from parents and may be a few parents realise this and hence few parents specially mothers give up their career for the sake of kids and a few dont. there are parents who just enroll child in these activities for their enjoyment and make themself free and pass on the responsibilities like as you say. no i havent come a crassed these kind of parents but i have seen th parents who up their career and also who enroll childrens in some classes too.

hi bounce58 yes I have known people like that too they take on something, it seems too much for them, so they find someone to do all the dirty work for them. My deceased hubby used to call them the peel me a grape people. He had read a story about a woman who could not keep her boy friends, they left her one after another. why? she was so lazy she would ask her new boyfriend to buy her some grapes, then she would take one and hand hand it to him,"Peel me a grape" No wonder they all left her.We helped a uoung couple with two children to move into a new apartment. then the mom had to dump the kids on me while she sorted out stuff,okay., then she took them back into the house, and asked if I wanted some ice tea. Okay hot day why not? So she sits down, tells me where all the tea makings are and how to get ice cubes out of her fridge. I just looked at her. Then I said, I kept your kids, I helped you to unpack, I am hot and tired, no I will not make your iced tea for you." and I walked out to our pick up where my husband was waiting.I told him about the ice tea bit. "Ah ha" he said, "she is one of the peel me a grape people."

No A person like this wouldn't be a friend for long. Why? Because I wouldn't help them out and they would be so frustrated.

I think we all know people like that. They like the idea of things like being in charge of something, but they either can't get themselves organized to manage their time or they handle the responsibility of managing the thing itself.

I know someone who has personality like this. Our team leader at work seems to love the title, but the hard work and responsibilities are made by his team members. He kept complaining about our files, but it is his responsibility to relay to us the new specifications from our clients. He kept telling us what to do, he's all talk but most of what he's saying are too idealistic to be real. He makes decisions that are sometimes unfair for the team. I don't like his attitude at all. He is the most unpopular team leader in our office.

I think everyone in their life had had those people, and maybe are them themselves, but will never admit it. In fact, my friend thought that she could use her friendship and get me to help here with all aspects of her life: from his personal problems to a tiny problem, from homework to money, and I felt so used up. I eventually got tired and told her to deal with everything on her own, or she can go cry to her boyfriend for support. I agree that once in a while, but not everyday.

I don't like this, at all, and yes! A lot of people take on responsibilities that they either have no intention on going through with, or they change their mind halfway through or so and decide that they should pawn off THEIR responsibilities on other people. The biggest people who have done this in my life have been my co-workers. When I used to have this guy Roger working with me - he would work only 1-2 days per week (and I worked the remaining0, and no lie, at LEAST once a week - halfway through his shift or even before it begun, he would call me up, "Alyssa, I'm not feeling well.. I stayed up too late.. Please come and work for me!". For a while I did it, to snag the extra hours, but after a while it got old, and I didn't have the time or energy or compassion to do HIS job as well as my own. It was just too much. So, there's not a whole lot we can do - help out once in a while, but not make it an every day thing - otherwise we run the risk of them starting to EXPECT it out of us and taking advantage of us (and taking us for granted). *shrugs*.

Oh yes. I have one particular friend I think of - though it's not about kids because she doesn't have any. I CRINGE every time she plans a party. First of all, she should just say she's having a party and then pick a day/night and time and then run with it. Instead, she has to ask everyone what day/night/time works better for them and asks if they have any ideas with what to do with her party. She gets real bothersome about it with the many emails and phone calls as she wants to please every one. AND THEN when that's settled, she asks everyone to bring different items to her party - including food, plates, utensils, napkins, decorations, games, music, whatever. So basically it's HER idea to have the party, but her guests BRING the party. One year she had a Christmas party, but she had a few of us came early to decorate the tree and her tables . . . while she was taking a shower. AHHHHH!!!

Oh yes, I've known a few people like that! One in particular styles himself as an organiser in the local community but under closer scrutiny he's always invited someone to help him - and they end up doing all the work. They are just lazy and self-absorbed.

I have familu members who likr to pass off responsdibility. They make a big production of taking om the burden. Before you know what jas happened, the responsibility is passed off to somebody else. Whay really infuriates me is when I am the one left to shoulder the responsibility that was promised by someone else. If you make a promise , follow through. It is so much easier on everyone. If you can't fulfill the responsbility yourself, ask for some help, I am more than willing toi help anyone. I just don't want it thrust on me unwanted.

I think people see what they want to be done, but do not spend too much time figuring out how they are going to be done, before the decision is made to do it. I mean, all it takes is five or ten minutes of careful thinking, to see if something can be done. I think there can be several headaches that are eliminated in any situation, with a bit of careful thinking. That is naturally the major failing of many. They just simply do not think about things. They get all excited and and want to press forward. Yet, if you are going to need to rely on someone else to get it done, then you might not want to do something like this. I think that people do not spend too much time thinking about the how of the situation and thus get overwhelmed. Thus they pass everything off to everyone else, but they would not be in that situation had they thought carefully.

I knew exactly someone like this. She used to be my workmate when I was still a staff in our company. I believe she was already transferred to another Department. I don't like her because she is a fake. She is nice to people when they are around but she is a backbiter. She always talks about her 6 years old daughter. The funny thing is that it seems like she's even proud that her daughter is closer to their neighbor rather than her. She even told us that the daughter is already leaving in the neighbor's house that when she comes and fetch her the daughter does not want to go home anymore. I don't see anything funny about her stories since if I'm in that situation I'd be alarmed. I'd do something to make my daughter feel close to me. She even joked that she's sometimes scared that her neighbor might moved out and transfer to another place and bring her daughter. I'm not surprised why the daughter prefers to be with a stranger rather than her. She's always not home and that's not because she's so busy at work. I'm not sure if his husband knows that she has something going on with one of the male employees in our Department. She is always out drinking and partying and going to God knows where with that guy. What I don't like most about her is that she spread rumor about other employees regarding their personal affairs and she would even say so and so is not responsible, etc, etc. I'd like to tell her and look who's talking?! However, I'd rather shut my mouth than have a fight with her just because of things not even my concern. There. I just want to share that experience. I'm not sure how shes doing now. Last time I heard her boyfriend in our Department was terminated/ fired due to Attendance issue and coming to work drunk. I just hope she has changed and became a more responsible Mom.

I knew exactly someone like this. She used to be my workmate when I was still a staff in our company. I believe she was already transferred to another Department. I don't like her because she is a fake. She is nice to people when they are around but she is a backbiter. She always talks about her 6 years old daughter. The funny thing is that it seems like she's even proud that her daughter is closer to their neighbor rather than her. She even told us that the daughter is already leaving in the neighbor's house that when she comes and fetch her the daughter does not want to go home anymore. I don't see anything funny about her stories since if I'm in that situation I'd be alarmed. I'd do something to make my daughter feel close to me. She even joked that she's sometimes scared that her neighbor might moved out and transfer to another place and bring her daughter. I'm not surprised why the daughter prefers to be with a stranger rather than her. She's always not home and that's not because she's so busy at work. I'm not sure if his husband knows that she has something going on with one of the male employees in our Department. She is always out drinking and partying and going to God knows where with that guy. What I don't like most about her is that she spread rumor about other employees regarding their personal affairs and she would even say so and so is not responsible, etc, etc. I'd like to tell her and look who's talking?! However, I'd rather shut my mouth than have a fight with her just because of things not even my concern. There. I just want to share that experience. I'm not sure how shes doing now. Last time I heard her boyfriend in our Department was terminated/ fired due to Attendance issue and coming to work drunk. I just hope she has changed and became a more responsible Mom.

The bottom line is that we can never control the conduct of others.. but we can learn not to enable what we consider to be wrong conduct. If you feel that your friend takes advantage of the friendship by imposing her responsibilities on you.. you just have to learn to say NO. Tell her you think she is wonderful to be so involved in her childrens developement, but you are just not able to provide constant taxi service for her. In answer to your question, I have met those kinds of people..but they do not hang around me very long.