Forgive a best friend?

A friend of mine betrayed me twice already in our 15 years of relationship. I forgave her, and I still call her one of my best friends. I saw that the reasons she betrayed me were because she was so jealous of my success in works. In term of money, she can get money easily and so she is richer. In term of work, many don't trust her. I understand her, so I forgave her and I am careful now, not to work in her territory kind of work.

i will forgive his/her

I may never forget, but I always forgive. They may not end up being my best friend anymore or I may not do as many things with them as I use to. But I will love them as a person. People betray people all the time and the best thing you can do is forgive and move on. We have to roll things off our back just as much as forgiveness.

Forgive yes... trust ...that has to be gained again and rebuilt. It would not be easy to trust a friend again who has betrayed you in a major way in the past. Although he maybe forgiven his motives will always be questioned until proven.

At one time I would forgive and forget and still keep contact with the person, and they would still be my good friend. After all everyone makes mistakes. However, there have been many people in my life who were not good for me; they lied, were condescending, dishonest and some seemed to throw daggers when ever they could. Finally after many years I decided to put them behind me and have not looked back. Life is more peaceful. Now, I may forgive but if someone has lied about me or to me, has hurt me in some fashion that is beyond the norm (face it, we are not perfect and may do something at times, but most of us don't have serious malfunctions in our personalities)such as being spiteful, or trying to teach a lesson rather than speaking to me about their troubles with me, or muddying my name for no good reason whatsoever, I must cut off the relationship. Matter of fact, I had to do that this weekend. A friend hurt me needlessly by an action or rather a serious over reaction to something that he thought and didn't even know for certain, and from what I can figure out it seems a lesson was trying to be conveyed to me, but that person NEVER told ME what he thought nor tried to have a discussion about it. Instead, kept letting things build for months (and one was an outright lie or maybe a misunderstanding on his part, but we did discuss this particular issue many times already and I thought he knew my stance but apparently did not or just wanted to spew venom, as he did communicate with me later about it and twisted things unreasonably that hurt me even further. He came at me full canon and meaning to harm me, as though the earlier punishment he rendered was not enough, called me names and was terribly abusive that I began to act in kind by childish namecalling) then decided to punish me by an action that hurt very badly, especially since I did not know why it had happened until hours after the event we were to attend. I guess, many people do not know how to handle situations properly. A proper way is to present the thing when you are not angry and open up discussion and understanding, that would invite the offending person to change and to see something in themselves and to apologize if that is necessary. If one simply fires off with needless and meaningless words, not to mention a terrible punishment for something they thought and was not even true, then how can one have that person for a friend? Someone who lies about you, or even spreads the truth around to others if that truth is a bad habit or something that is not favorable, cannot be trusted and should not be in your confidence for obvious reasons.

We don't forgive people to benefit them. We do it to benefit us. When we fail to forgive it only hurts ourselves. I agree that trust is different but if we fail to forgive, we end up paranoid without any friends and who is that hurting? Not the people who hurt us. I attended a retreat one time that addressed victimization and the woman who ministered to us defined forgiveness as, "Letting go of the need for revenge." She went on to explain that she's not going to let her molester babysit her kids and she's not going to invite the guy who robbed her at gunpoint and raped her to dinner. When the people we have been hurt by are family, it's an even trickier situation because we can't really just cut them out of our existence. But we do need to confront our offenders, let them know that what they did is not acceptable and that they hurt us. We have to give them a chance to repent and make up for what they have done. If they don't want to discuss it, then it's on their heads not ours. We watched an interesting show the other night. There were these two girls who had competed and hated each other since third grade and the one girl didn't know why. At the end of the show she asked the other girl why she was so mean and nasty to her. The other girl told her that she had stolen her best friend that long ago and left her out. She had been so hurt that she had started being really mean and nasty. People usually have reasons for the things they do that hurt us. Try to put yourself in their place. If that doesn't work, then you have to put it in God's hands. Many years ago I was abandoned by the father of my baby when I was pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. You better believe I was consumed with anger at that man! I finally prayed and asked God to show me this man through His eyes. I knew that God loved him and I knew that God's vision was so much more perfect than mine. When I looked at him through God's eyes, my heart broke and I wept for him, not me. I saw that he was hurting himself much worse than he could ever hurt me and I knew that God didn't want him hurt anymore than I wanted my precious baby girl hurt. That was when I was finally able to let go of the anger and rage that I felt and finally forgive him. It took me three years to reach that point. Sometimes forgiveness takes some time because you're still hurting but as long as you can move toward that goal, you'll be okay. Years ago a friend of mine told me about how her ex-husband's girlfriend came to her and asked for her forgiveness and she refused to give it. My friend didn't realize it but in so doing, she was doing more damage to her children than that woman ever dreamed of doing. She kept blaming her ex's new woman for all her children's problems when in reality it was the anger and hate that she carried in her heart that was destroying the lives of her children. Bottom line, FORGIVE. Grudges hurt no one but yourself.

I've had my best friend betray me and refuse to speak to me even though I have been the only person in her life who has been there for her and for her kids. I'm Pagan, she's Christian, we've known each other since we were little but when I decided to "come out of the broom closet" I tried to see her in person to tell her but she wouldn't see me. Turns out she had found out already and she cut off all ties to me without ever speaking to me about it. Like I said, I've been the only person in her life who has been through all of her ups and downs and the only person in her life who has been there for all of her children. If your friend has lied and/or betrayed you on more than one occasion, I'd say it's time to call it quits and find a new friend!

If I wanted to keep that person as a friend I would. Besides, aren't we suppose to forgive one another?

well i would say that your the better friend because your there for then but i don't think that they our there for you. so maybe you need to think about if you want to keep this friend around .

Yeah, as far as I am concerned, I think it will be good for us to forgive our best friends who are around us, or we will live so terrible life.There is nothing that we can not solve in our life. We just do not need put some unhappy thing between our friends, it will feel not so well in our heart. I do have this kind of feeling in my body!

yep..surely I'll forgive ma best friend.....h/she is the one who helped me in ma problems...who suggested me solutions..to solve it...give me advice when I felt completely lost..cheered me when I felt lonely.. then why couldn't I forgive him/her...I'll forgive...but let me ask.. Will a best/true friend ever try to betray..you??? I think it will not happen..unless he/she 's not that true to you.... thanks for the topic........... have a great day/night...........

Forgive sure, forgiving will easy your heart and not direct yourself to path of revenge and more bitterness and anger. However,after forgiving, personally i think time to find another friend and this betrayal be with itself. Forgiving this person does not been this person will turn around and repent and change better person, may continue to hurt u. So better let this person gain back your trust or better still totally abandon this person and go find better friends or spent more time with other friends.

Well... I hope I never be in your place but if he/she screw it up to you multiple times than he/she can't be called a best friend and I don't know if he/she still can be called a friend.I had a friend, an online friend I helped him with some things, he wanted more help, than again 3 days in line and I said it's enough, he can do the rest when he'll come home.He didn't answered back and when he came home he did all the things by himself and he has said that to me to annoy me.Well it seems I did all the help in vain so I said him farewell and deleted his email address.My case it's not like you but I given you an example of my own.Mine was easier it wasn't a real friend I meet in real life but the same goes for those guys only that I would be more forgiving on those guys.About the online friends when they screw up they don't have a chance for forgiveness.

One thing I learned in life that you can never have too many friends. But if the friend you have is not worth everything you've shown then I guess she'd be better off alone. There are just these kind of people that don't know how to appreciate someone else's value. Maybe because of pride or whatever it is. Actually, it really depends on how grave the sin or thing was. If its worth a second chance, go. And if it's not, let go.

Difficult!! I am a kind of person who may Forgive but never Forget... But when the betrayal comes more than once then for sure than i would show no sign of Forgiveness... For me its quite difficult to accept the person again in life who has betrayed you and shower the same amount of trust and belief on him/her which was done prior.... For me just sounds Impossible rather than Difficult

To forgive is divine they say. This goes for best friends too. We are often going to be betrayed by someone in our lives. It just hurts more when it is a best friend that betrays you. It may take a little extra effort and time to get the trust back in the relationship. I think a best friend is worth the fight of forgiveness!

Yes I will forgive him/her. But trust? No way. I will never forget any lies and betrayal. I will forgive him/her but I will no longer treat him/her as my friend.

Nowadays.. I dont know what is best friend... How to define this term? what is best friend??? I know this very well long ago when I was in my jounor or senior high school time. With those lovely folks we could talk everything and share everything...but now, I just find I am almost on my own in almost every aspect of the current life.. And something happened recently make me think about the "best friend" again.. I heard that..I was one of her best friend... who I barely knew(except her birthday, her lucky no. her favirout color..and this is common knowledge for everyone around here).. And then she just become my boyfriend-to-be's newly girfriend....Gosh... what could I do.. I heard I was her best friend from that guy.. is this called betrayer? or am I mistaking sth... I just couldnt figure out what the hell was going on... so easy to say U will have all my bless...Still I will try, try the best to forgive and bless them, afterall, life is too short for these unhappy feelings

Forgive, yes. But I also become an expert editor of what I say to that person and how close I let them come to my life. I was royally burned by someone I considered my best friend. I've been royally burned by my one and only sister. Edit, wide birth. Period.

Of cause forgive him.If he didnt go out of his way~