guys today won't ask the girl to marry unless pregnant. what's your opinion?
By arahvma23
@arahvma23 (269)
Philippines
July 6, 2010 12:52am CST
just a brief background: i just got accidentally pregnant by my (during that time) one month boyfriend. he was the first REAL boyfriend that I got and we were not expecting that because both of us are the eldest sibling in the family and he's a breadwinner. (though it's ok for him to have a child at that time thinking it's the right age for him to become a father).
in our country nowadays, there's an increasing number of individuals who conceive a child at younger years (as young as fourteen) who are not ready of having a family. when i was in high school, i've heard some of my batchmates were pregnant and i felt really sorry for their parents.
since the numbers of unexpected pregnancies arise, it sometimes feels like it's becoming a trend. guys sometimes won't take it into their account especially if the guy is not a responsible person. however, there are still some who are brave enough to carry the responsibility and stick to a new family. So the issue would be...
those brave guys won't really ask the girl to marry them unless the girl's already pregnant.
in my case, i agreed to marry my boyfriend. my first reason was that i'm afraid that my baby won't live with a father by his side. next is that, my boyfriend swore that he'll never leave us no matter what, and i trusted him for that. loving each other worked out when we lived together in an apartment, and now we're living happily.
how about in your case? do you think this is really becoming a trend?
2 people like this
10 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
I think it is a trend. But not a good trend. It's a sad trend because men no longer feel the need to commit. It's just when their girlfriends get pregnant then it's 'time' for them to be a man and take it in.
More of like the decision was made for them than by them. Like when life throws you lemons you make lemonades. Not really part of a decision and a plan.
Some work out, some don't. There's no perfect formula for love.
@arahvma23 (269)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
you really got my point there laydee! it was sad that i had to marry without enjoying my single life but right now, i enjoy being a mom simply because i felt a strong connection between me and my husband because of our love, our child, and our respect for our families.
1 person likes this
@suderson (11)
• India
6 Jul 10
Hey, I don't think it would be a correct trend right now!. May be few may think like that. But its tough to hold a family, and be a responsible guy to get a family at early age. see!! Its really very tough to study 5 subjects in a day for a 15 or 16 age guy. In this age, its very tough to hold a family and fulfill their needs. Even if the marriage happens, 8 out of 10 cases will end in the misery.
This is just my thought!. Sorry if am wrong.
@suderson (11)
• India
6 Jul 10
I don't know whether you heard a real story that happened in the southern part of Tamil nadu last week.
A 10th standard girl got pregnancy. No one knows in her family as well as in the school as she looks a bit fat. She got pain when she was in the class around 2 PM evening. She got permission from the faculty and went to bathroom.
She gave birth to a boy baby in the toilet. She didn't tell to anyone too. She went to Home after getting the permission from the HM. Suddenly the students who were playing in the ground, went for toilet. They scared after seeing that baby in the toilet. They informed to the HM and she was inquiring the issue.
After the inquiry, the girl was caught and was admitted to hospital for further treatment.
See, for us this is just a story. But think about her parents. How much they would've felt for the issue. They would've have many dreams about their daughter, but now everything vanished coz of her act.
A 3 minutes enjoyment cause a big damage to her entire life as well as her family's'. I won encourage these kinds in my life as well as in my family.
@arahvma23 (269)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
that was really very awful! i have never imagined doing that act... ever! i have always told myself that if ever i get caught in an untimely pregnancy, if the father won't take the responsibility, i'd be courageous enough to bring up the child even on my own.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Relationships can be so simple yet so complex. A guy may want to marry a girl but doesn't get up the nerve to ask her. They stay in relationship mode. If a girl is prgenant, I think the guy feels obligated and dutibound to marry her. Pregnancy should not be the reason I guy asks a girl to get married. Unfortuantely, this is the circumstance too many times. Marriage should be for love not obligation.
@arahvma23 (269)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
yeah! it should be for LOVE! if that's the case, there are more chances that families will stick together, loving and respecting each other... :)
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
Getting married when the girl is already pregnant is a one way ticket. That's the reason why I always say life is so unfair cause I waited to get married before my husband and I started to try and get pregnant but sad to say, things arent working out well. We have been trying and trying but there's none. Some people get to have babies even if they are not planning for it and that's really unfair for me.
@arahvma23 (269)
• Philippines
9 Jul 10
I feel sad about your situation p3ks626. I agree that life is really unfair, in all aspects. I just hope you'll conceive a baby soon. BTW, here's a link where you could get advices:
http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/7-tips-getting-pregnant-faster
hope it helps! :)
good luck!
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
Good if the guy would ask the girl to marry him. Most of the time guys dont do that. They just run away from their responsibilities and pretend like nothing happened. There are a lot of young single mothers everywhere and the main reason for that is the guy left them.
@catycat1985 (188)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I can say that its the trending now coz my bestfriend met the same scenario 5 years ago, but in my personal point of view, though im thinkin of the welfare of my child i still dont want to marry a man just because im pregnant, possibly i can marry him he will give me the reason that he wants me to be the mother of his child. You know the thought that the very reason why you have him by your side every single day because u are obliged to, because you feel pity with your child, isnt it also worst giving your child a family who is not bounded by love? I guess it will be more good to be just honest with your children if theday comes that i did not marry your father because he doesnt love me at all/
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
6 Jul 10
Hi Arahvma, I'm really not sure about that. It depends if the guy will think positively and be responsible. It's true that some people tend to overly have fun without thinking about the consequences. You are lucky to have a good and responsible husband. My own uncle made his wife pregnant first then only decided to get married 4 months after (His wife was 4 months pregnant). My other uncle made my neighbour pregnant while having a marriage life with someone else. They didn't get married and the baby was given to a long married couple who was not able to have baby, and this actually made a lot of people in my village sad since they are actually a grown-up and not a teenager. Well, they were just thinking about the innocent baby you know, not those two people. I hope your marriage life will stay happy everyday and happy mylotting
@shinakiro (10)
• Philippines
9 Jul 10
ya i do believe in that.. we dont know actually whose really responsible guy as this case increasing now a days. . BOy tend to ask in such kind of the girl NOT thinking what would be the results after as long as they got pleasure on it. . then after that big REGRET appear when the boy is still a student as well as the girl . people try to do this just SIMPLY and for FUN, for they dont see ANY consequences at the end . so, the matter most i focus into is that the girl with a baby left behind by the boy . so sad but true. .! this is common to all , esp. here in phil . they must know the relevance of LIFE- the lifetime. .
as the expert says ; 25 yrs old girl is already mature physically , mentally, emotionally, spiritually . because a lot of responsibilities are up comings. ..
@nitram166 (28)
• Denmark
6 Jul 10
It could be, but sure it´s horrible.
If people just would stop up a few seconds and think things over, then our world wouldn´t look this.
Well the marrige and pregnancy surely do have some connection, but as I say this, it has a connection to the same thing.
Marrige and pregnancy is surely connected to the love with your partner, as in marrige and pregnancy shouldn´t be mixed up.
It may make the bond stronger, but there is some consequenses.
I think this is something for every man and woman to figure out together.
M.S.A
