What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

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When I was little, I used to like to watch The Andy Griffith Show........ CRAP! now I have that damn whistling song stuck in my head! ........I digress.......Anyways, they used to have a character on there.....he was so funny, he would stumble around and then he would show up at the police station and he would grab the keys and lock himself in the jail cell. Then the next morning, he would let himself out of the cell and go home. They treated him real nice.......sometimes they would read him to sleep and he would always get one of Aunt Bea's picnic basket dinners. So I asked my mom, "Who's that?" And she told me, "That's Otis......Otis Campbell........he's the town drunk." Right then and there, I got the calling! When I grew up, I wanted to be the town drunk. A few years later, even though I was a ways off from being of legal drinking age, I started to practice my craft. It was hard at first........I would get sick and throw up in inappropriate places. I would wake up with terrible headaches. Some times I would even wake up in strange places with people whose names I didn't know. But after a while my body got used to it. I looked forward to the next binge. I even carried on relationships with the people whose names I didn't know. Then I moved to a small town in the midwest.......OH YEAH, perfect town drunk territory! Well, I stumbled and slurred around for awhile........even ended up in jail a few times.........know what? They DON'T give you access to the jail cell key! Aunt Bea DOESN'T prepare your dinner and deliver in a picnic basket covered with a red and white checkered cloth! Then I got a couple of DUI's, lost my car, lost my license........DAMN! This was getting expensive! That's when I realized, maybe being the town drunk wasn't for me. Besides, I moved to Las Vegas............too much competition. So, I gave up being a full time drunk and have reserved myself to just being a weekend drunk.........NO driving and NO getting in trouble! Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be? If so........hows it working out for you?