~*~ When Do You Call It Quits In Your Marriage? ~*~

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So August 14th I will be married for one year. My husband and I have been together almost 4 years. When I met him he was working and nothing really seemed out of the norm. He lived in the St Louis area and I lived in Ohio. He came up to see me almost every month, stayed with me through several surgeries, and seemed supportive. I ended up moving to St Louis area in 2008 and we stayed there until 09. During that time he lost the job he had for several years, he found another and lost that in October of 2008. We ended up moving back to Ohio since life was much more expesive there in December 2008. Since that October though, he has not worked and has not actively sought work either. I guess for the longest time I just felt that there were not a lot of jobs out there, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. We ended up getting married last year, and we discussed him making some changes. He started college for Real Estate classes, never took the exam. He then began working on an associates degree for business, and then quit halfway through the semester. I guess I am tired of being a cheerleader. I am not sure how long a partner allows this kind of behavior. I have expressed how I feel, and it gets me no where. I have two children 10 and 13 years old. They take care of themselves, but he says he feels like his job is babysitting. I work a full time job, a part time job, and another job 8 hours a month. I am finishing my Masters degree and will be done next May. I am just fed up. He had been getting unemployment, but didnt contribute to many of the bills. I just went without hot water for two weeks, because he failed to let me know his unemployment was going to run out. Then I found out he had not paid it since March. Everytime I asked him about the bill, he told me it was taken care of. Then the next week he tells me that he had been making payment arrangements with the electric for so long I had to pay it or they would shut that off! They needed an additonal deposit on the account since he has been delinquient. So $400.00 later, I got that taken care of. If I had known ahead of time I would have been able to budget it into my account, but instead it has been a huge inconvience. I have threatened to end the marriage, I spoke to an attorney. I just feel he is not doing anything to change his present situation. I do not want to live this way. I need someone who wants to be a partner, not a sponge. Things have been getting worse as the weeks pass. He becomes more aggressive, and yells, cannot allow me to calm down. He will just follow me and start arguments. The bottom line is that I didn't get married to get divorced. However, I also didn't get married to support the entire family. I need some time to myself. Since he isnt working my free time he wants to consume. He even feels he should be able to go to pilates with me and "watch." I work in mental health. I know he is depressed and has anxiety. He needs to address it and I have encouraged him to do so. He just wont. We bought a house in November and it is on land contract. Both are names are on it. When I ask him to leave he throws that back at me, even though he tells me how much he hates it here. I am just confused. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.