A mom daughter relationship seems to be closer and smoother
By vijayanths
@vijayanths (7877)
India
15 responses
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
20 Jul 10
Hi Vijayanths
I feel that ladies will have some emotional feelings which they will exhibit openly, but gents, though they have all love and affection like ladies, will bot show it outside. So though Dad and son do have closer relationship, it will not be seen openly but in times of need they will support each other and Mom and daughter exhibit openly
1 person likes this
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
20 Jul 10
Hi, vathsala, you are right that ladies are emotional and they express their emotions naturally. I also agree with you that though dad son relationship is close they don't show it off openly. They don't express their love. They don't share things that much as daughters and moms do.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
hello anna,
I guess that depends on each situation.
Here in my country,if i may not mistaken,daughters are much closer to their dads and sons to their moms.(about 75% i guess)
I don't know why,but it seems to be like that.
My daughter is very close to her father and my youngest son is closer to me than to his dad.
Some of my friends also had same experience like that,that their daughter were closet to their dad to their moms,and sons to their moms instead of their dads.
Maybe becoz,moms had a lot of restrictions when it comes to their daughter,so,the daughter will find help to their dads,same thing with the sons,who seeks help to their moms.
But,generally,kids are much closer to their mother than to their father.
That's my observation(here in my country)
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@vijayanths (7877)
• India
20 Jul 10
Hi, jai dear, Glad to note sons are close with moms and daughters are close with dads in your country. I think that is possible because in both the cases female is there. When there is a female there is closer relationship. Dad and son closeness is rare, I think.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@kalav56 (11464)
• India
19 Jul 10
There are exceptions to thsi but I feel that there is one likely reason for this situation.
A mother normally identifies herself very w ell with her child be it son or daughter/
WHen it is a mom/daughter the mother is absolutely comfortable with her gender.
WHen it is the father /son there seems to be some friction in cases because there are underlying expectations from the son by the father.He tends to expect some sort of relief and sharing of household responsibilities from the adult son while this is not the case with the daughters who are given away in marriage.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
19 Jul 10
No, Kala this time I differ from you. I don't expect anything from my sons, yet they are a bit away from me than before. They love me a lot and respect me a lot, there is no doubt about that. They can't move as friends as they used to be when they were small. May be the respect acts as a barrier.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
20 Jul 10
The difficulty may not lie with them but with you Vijayanth.You may not expect anything from your sons but are you able to relate to them? Can you think from their point of view? Respect is one thing but compatibility is another. THey need not pat you on the shoulder saying 'Hai--da'but sharing of inner thoughts and feelings would come if you descend to their level and talk.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
Not all Dad are not expressive, my father always expressed his pressure in shouting. He likes to shout, even it is 4am,he don't care. Even if you are tired and you have incomplete sleep, he don't care. What values to him is that he is alway right in everything that he does. Well, about your topic, I really dont' know if I am close to my mom. I can talk to her about someone but I can't open up my problems to her. I leave my problems with me and my family do not know it. On the other hand, my sister is closer to my mother. They take sides of one another. I am not okay with my sister's boyfriend, so instead of sharing their romantic escapades to me, my sister shared it with my mom. And I don't care, I don't care about them. I can talk to my mom, and she takes care of me too, but I am not sure if we are really close.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
21 Jul 10
Hi, grecy, I can understand your life there. It's true that mom may be a little more attached to a particular child.That does not mean she does not love or care for other children. In a way you are like me. I want to share my happiness with all. I keep all the pains with me.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@Jotomy (6322)
• India
20 Jul 10
Hi anna, yes it is there in India, girls or boys are much attached to their mom than their father. When they are kids they spend most of the time with dad when dad comes home till then they are with the mom. As soon as a boy grows young slowly his attachment will be more with mom because all needy things she will arrange, boys are afraid to ask their father for help financial / studies / food etc., so mom will become a mediator for both children and dad, this way the relationship between the boy and the father have a gap. And father plays a role like very strict person (which children don't like much, they expect the same love as they got in their childhood from their father) because he will afraid that his children may do wrong or grow in indiscipline way. Father is much concerned about the boy at his teenage. His concern didn't understand by the boy, so, that is why father should have a complete interaction with the boy. If father keep away this ego, then the relation will be like friendship between the father and his son which is more good for both.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
21 Jul 10
Hi, Jotomy, yes, both boys and girls are attached to mom and dad in the young ages. When sons grow up they start maintaining a gap with dads. May be son wants to enjoy more freedom when he grows big. He may think dad is strict and that might make him go away from him.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
20 Jul 10
Hi, jennyze, nice to note you were closer to your dad when you were young. That must have been a great experience for you, I think.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@shobhan51 (376)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 10
Not necessarily so. It all depends on the closeness a daughter has with the parent. I have heard and seen of daughters who are closer to their fathers than their mothers. Understanding and dedication have a role to play.Some parents lack understanding of the children's needs.They have forgotten the time when they were children themselves.
@mercedlegurpa (955)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
My daughter and I have a very good relationship because I'm flexible although she is not so but as a mother I always give ways. I always advice my daughter if she asks about boys and I would make it a point that she'll give her full trust on me. Regards with my son, although my husband is conservative, he can get along well with him. We are liberal and broad minded parents. We're not modern in any ways but we're open about opinions and ideas that my children wanted to know. I know it's hard to be a parent; thank God I have only two children.
@johnpillai (2082)
• Germany
19 Jul 10
When my brother was a small boy, he was pet to my father. When he was a teenager and jung boy there wwew misunderstanding, generation gap ect. ect. in between them.
Above his thirtees my brother faced lot of problems in his life. My father supported him in his old age a lot. he was the only person who loved my brother and understood my brother. Now a days my brother is looking after him in his old age perfectly. I thing this is natural. don't worry vijanthas this gap is not perminant When the boys take the roll of father they realize the father's love. continue your fathership with no change. happy fathering.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
19 Jul 10
Hi, john pillai, I am not worried about this gap. I know they love me a lot, so what is there to worry, I am also like them, so no problem at all. If their love fades away then it will definitely be a worry to me. I hope that will never happen in my life. I hope God has good things for me in future.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@lilangelspreschool (1129)
• United States
19 Jul 10
It seems to be the opposite for me and my kids. I was always closer to my dad and I still am. My son is very close with me and both of my daughter's always want to be with their daddy.
I guess we are the odd balls.
=)
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
20 Jul 10
I think it is quite possible and not odd. Because in both cases female is there to strengthen the relationship. In my opinion dad son closeness is rare all over the world. Of course there are a few who move as friends. But it is rare I think. It's ok, nothing wrong as long as they love each other.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@merma1267 (130)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
To answer your query, it depends !!! meaning depends on how a dad will do something to make his son be closer to him compare daughter and mom coz women are very vocal on what they like. Mom can easily deal with the daughter's needs.
@carsocmaguinsay (417)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
according to one book (emotional intelligence) i've read, guys were raised that way - less talk, more action. mothers spend more time talking to their daughters about feelings and its details. girls can tell if something's wrong with somebody by their facial expression while guys can hardly notice that. it is also natural for girls to show some comfort for their peers. on the other hand, boys respond differently to the same situation. for example, when someone is hurt while they play basketball or soccer and they found him crying, they would tell him to stop crying and get out of the game so not to ruin or spoil their enjoyment. yet, they are still capable of showing emotions.
@mac_mac1221 (478)
• Philippines
21 Jul 10
Hmm...I really don't know... I haven't been that observant. I have a brother but he's close to my mother... My sister is also close to my mother...:) I'm close to my father and to my mother...:) haha... Okey, so based on experience I don't know what to say...:) I guess it really depends on how an individual takes care of such relationship.
@PDBME2 (1014)
• United States
19 Jul 10
In our house my daughter and husband have a tight bond. My sons and me are close too. I know as they get older the whole situation will change. My son's will want their wives. I think my daughter will realize that being a mom isn't easy so she will shift her time to me. Definately men or boys are not as expressive. I can see it in my boys compared to my daughter. The boys just shine things on while my daughter is emotional.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
19 Jul 10
hi, PDBME2, I think the dad son relationship is closer when the son is below 10 years. When he ages he goes away from dad. I agree with you that boys shine things on while daughters are emotional. It is nice to watch the close interactions between the mom and daughter.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@eshaan (6188)
• India
20 Jul 10
yes...u r right...women have expressive nature and also they share things more than men...this minimizes the gap between the two and they come closer....men try to solve their problems by themselves and only if they cant handle them...then they go to parents...and in that too...mom is selected first, may it be son or daughter...dad is given second preference...as mothers understand better ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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