Would you rather hurt your friend's feelings?
By clouds0327
@clouds0327 (1389)
Philippines
July 31, 2010 12:50pm CST
I got so frank today.. I have a friend (co worker) who doesnt listen to details and always jumps into conclusion and sometimes causes trouble and she asks like it's nothing or it can be dealt with easily.. But Im so tired of that...
She is so preoccupied all the time. She is sometimes working and chatting with her BF at the same time. So when you give her instructions on what to do she will only remember part of it and will forget some. Still that means she wont be able to do it correctly.. And when the day comes and we get a lot of complaints from seller, she will just easily say "Oops sorry I thought its like this" I mean its not that simple we are working with professional clients here and she can't just behave like we are just playing.
Anyways, I got fed up and I told her that its funny how she misses alot of my instructions always. I mean its not easy repeating instructions to the other person who is not even totally listening at all. I was sarcastic for a while and I hope she noticed that. I mean if that will make her change her work attitude then I guess I was doing a favor for her, but needed to hurt her feelings in order to do so..
Have you done something like that?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
1 Aug 10
Well in friendship its common. Hurting and together is all in friendship
1 person likes this
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Yes, that is true. There is no perfect relationship at all, we need these ups and down to make things better. Right?
@s2rybot (34)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
if it helps for her to realize wat she did was wrong then i guess its ok to hurt her feelings. being a true friend, no matter how bad it is, you are always on the first line to see the clear picture of how she is and wat she does. if she can't accept it that u have said it then i guess she doesnt treat u as a friend.
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Hey I really appreciate that s2rybot because that is what I am thinking the whole time while I was being frank to her.
I have no other intentions but just simply let her know about what I feel is wrong and may also compromise our work and her work..
I have no other intentions but just simply let her know about what I feel is wrong and may also compromise our work and her work..
@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
31 Jul 10
No, I have never intentionally hurt my friends' feelings. I may have said something that caused their feelings to get hurt, but never on "purpose." Maybe if you and your friend had a "face" to "face" interaction, where you could make your "directions" clear so that she would be unable to fully comprehend them, and a chance to reiterate, you would probably find that THINGS would go much smoother. You can't just keep her "GUESSING" like she can read your mind. She's probably "LISTENING" but thinks you are being totally "RUDE" in your approach. Good luck!!
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
No im not rude buggles64..That not like me... I am also very clear on my instructions.. the instructions are also written. We are in a very fast paced environment and she accepted the job so she should first concentrate on the job than other stuff. If she is not doing "not related to the job while on shift " stuff then I think it will be easier for her to understand vvvverrrryyyyy simple instructions... This is the first time I ever did to her after a year of working with her and I think its about time or we keep having this mistakes..
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
31 Jul 10
Yes i have done like that sometimes. And i have hurt many friends also like that but they have to know what are their faults and their certain attitudes which can really be troublesome sometimes. But it can be funny also sometimes because it helps to recognise our friends when the time comes.
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
Sometimes it helps to hurt the person that are close to us in order for them to realize their mistakes...Like a parent to a child, "a mother may sometimes say painful words to her child to make the child realize and change or to make a meaningful point" That's what I did... I simply told her what i think about what she's doing and that it bothers me and not only me but other people as well..
@christiana81 (717)
• Romania
1 Aug 10
I would rather hurt his feelings then to be fired...if you are a friend, you really care about her and her work!
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Well, that exactly is my point. I wouldn't believe friendship will be always just happiness and niceness (if there is even a word, hehe having hard time thinking) Sometimes there's a fight and misunderstandings but that adds spice to it and also furthers the friendship because you are letting the person know what you think she should change for the better. I , too is open for comments about myself, it is hard to accept sometimes but if you think about it maybe they are right..
@hotwheels20 (400)
• India
12 Aug 10
I haven't done such yet but i would have done the same as you did. It's really a bad habit for your friend to do such thing. And all this bad habits are going to be very negative points in the person. So in order to stop such things we have to make them understand.
@agito121 (176)
• United Arab Emirates
31 Jul 10
Yes, I have done something like that, i felt really bad, but i had to shout at a friend, my best friend. He was hitting my brother because apparently my brother won him at a video game and he got pissed and decided to hit it off my brother, of course he didnt hit him he just pushed him, really hard against the wall and my brother was injured.
I had to do something, after all blood was thicker than water, i didn't want to hit my friend so instead i gave him a good shout and i could tell from his eyes he felt bad but i felt even bad. but i had no choice.
