How could she? Could you?

Well, for me, forgiving is the easiest part here. But to accept the person back to your life right away? I don't think so. It should take time, unless the person is really in love. I have never done such. I don't think I will. But I don't close this matter at hand because I might do it if I fell in love really bad. Who knows., right? We cannot judge her...

Well I've never had to deal with or go through anything such as a cheating husband or boyfriend and I honestly cant say with complete certainty how I would handling it. But I do know that I would be very hurt if someone I loved and cared for was dishonest and betray me like that, and it definitely would not be so easy for me to just forgive the dishonesty and betrayal so easily. But I must say that each individual is differnt and they have to make the best decision for themselves though its slightly surprising to read that your friend decided to take him back, because I dont think I could have even thought about taking the guy back so fast, my goodness well to eaches own.

It depends, really. If it's a grievous mistake, which will take a longer time to heal..perhaps forgiveness is not in the cards yet. Especially when someone has been wronged into doing something which they have no intention of.. or being accused of acting in a certain kind of way with a certain kind of intention. Hurts mean nothing to those who go in their way to hurt others intentionally or not. If you ask me, especially in relationship issues, it all boils down to the people in it. If they are willing to forgive and forget, good.. but if not, then it's an entirely different thing altogether. Sometimes, after someone has been forgiven, to mix around once more.. the feelings will be totally awkward. Maybe some things are meant to stay that way and to heal longer. In your friend's situation, I'd say it's a bit too quick to forgive, but if she thinks he deserves a chance this time round.. then it's up to her. But perhaps you may advice her to be very cautious in future..who knows.. but let's just hope the best for now.

If I really loved him, I might let him come back, but it wouldn't be all "life as normal" right away. He'd have to be really repentant and willing to go to counseling, and he'd be sleeping on the couch for a while. It takes time to rebuild trust, and there'd have to be a major change in behavior.

It may be understandable that she got back with the guy. maybe she really loves the guy and that everything would be fine with her. what i dont understand is the span of time that everything happened. she may really be too into that guy.

No I don't think that I would ever let him back, time may have made me forgive him maybe but I wouldn't forget.

Hello my friend, hmmmmph my first thought was, how long will it be before he's off chasing another piece of skirt! Trust in any relationship is the foundation and once that has gone, what have you got? Unfortunately it is down to her, only she can make that decision, right or wrong, no one can make it for her, most will say she is a fool but at the end of the day it's her that has to live with him. Some people can forgive at a drop of the hat, others it takes years, if ever to truly forgive. We don't know the full circumstances as to why she took him back only she can know that in her heart of hearts. But if my partner ever strayed that would be it, doesn't matter if we are together five years or fifty. The trust once broken will kill the relationship but that's just me, call me old fashioned!

I would not take someone back that cheated on me. I feel if they do it once and you forgive them, take them back, then they think "well I can do it and she will take me back" so they so it again. People do things for many reasons some of which we don't understand. Many times it is because they believe the other person that they are sorry for what they done and will never do it again. If they disrespected you one time they will do it again if you allow them to get away with it. That's just me and how I think.

I'd probably be with you, but we weren't there when he said whatever it was that allowed her to let him come back... We can but hope she made him grovel...

hi humvbug that would take more time than that and with some men they never do stop; so a woman must figure out if she wants to be second best the rest of her life. Yes some men will change but as you said it will take time for both of them, as its going to be hard for a woman to trust again after that shoddy treatment of her. No I might forgive in time, but again if I knew he was not at all sincere I might just say that is it, I am not playing second fiddle again. I think some women are just too bloody forgiving and maybe some sick way they enjoy being treated like that.

Definitely not. I don't know if I could EVER forgive someone for cheating. With such a huge and devastating breach of trust the offending person DOES NOT realize the error of their ways and become genuinely sorry for their actions in such a short amount of time. Quite likely the only thing they're sorry for is themselves and for being inconvenienced by getting kicked out and having their comfortable life turned upside down. If someone cheats it is because they don't respect their partner or value them like they should, and that doesn't just happen overnight. So it's pretty unreasonable to believe that they are genuinely sorry and realize the mistake they made (or even THAT they made a mistake) in a week.

I would have not forgiven my partner so easily because it is a real big deal for me to accept my partner going with another woman during his stay with me, this is unforgivable and I think I would have a;ready left him long ago too.

Nope, very difficult for my girl to get me back.

I really honestly in my heart want to say never, of course I would never let him back ever but then depending on how long we were together and if he was willing to go to counsiling I might let him back if he was truely remorseful in a few months but NEVER right away. I wouldnt even be able to look at him for months let alone live with him, sleep next to him and cook for him. You are right about the other woman she is just as involved as he is. Shame.

I guess some people can forgive easily well I am not one of them :) after all I think everyone has to learn their lessons and I am comfortable living alone rather than living with someone who lied/ cheated I have met plenty of these liars manipulating me and others, all my life I am not going to give them any more of my space and time

Hi, Humbug25. I could never forgive that easily like that. If he ran off with someone else, I would not be taking him back that fast. No way! He would not be moving back into my home. He will have to stay with his new woman. She was as much to blame as he was. Both of them are!

no way. I wouldn't ever be too forgiving when it comes to a cheater. Once a cheater, liar etc. always one.

I definitely don't think I could forgive that fast or easily. I was in the wrong 6 years ago and my husband still brings it up in every argument. Most people don't forgive that quick. How can you trust them again if you take them back that easily? I would make my man prove to me he could be trusted again. He would have to do some pretty special things to make up for it.