Paying For Someone Else's Debt
By candyfairy21
@candyfairy21 (2039)
Philippines
August 4, 2010 12:09am CST
I am so enraged and it was so stupid of me to oblige. I have this friend who asked me to place an order for her for an item that I too was ordering. The item was reserved for a month and we had to pay for it on the 31st of July. I was happy to accomodate her request however now that we have to pay for the items she called me that she can't because she was having financial problems. I mean who doesn't? Now I am obliged to pay for the item she asked me to reserve for her because I am going to be listed as a bogus buyer and have my face all over the internet site!
Don't you just hate it when friends do that? This is a lesson learned for me I am an easy person to talk to however, this time when it comes to something like this I'll make sure it's money down before I get to reserve anything for them. Have you experience this so far when you have to pay for somebody else's debt?
3 people like this
14 responses
@charlies2805 (777)
•
5 Aug 10
The first thing I will write is 'Friend is friend, but money will stay as it is'. Money, money, money. From it we learn to get peace, and from it we know how to start a big war. Well, if your friend is really good for you and told you the true thing, why not helping her for a moment? Do you think that she would never give you back your money? Maybe you can pay hers first and get the thing, and when she doesn't pay you back you can sell the thing again. I know how you must be feeling when dealing with person like that.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
problem is I do not have the money to pay for it either. If I have I would have paid for it because my reputation is at stake especially when you buy through facebook! I am just so furious right now because she has not called me in 2 days! i think she should at least update me with what the hell is happening at her end, has she found the money to pay etc. I am so furious really because I am the one loosing face.
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
4 Aug 10
I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. It's really unfortunate this kind of situation happens. I do hope that some sort of arrangement can be made between the two of you to resolve this situation. Fortunately, I haven't been in the situation that you are now in.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
I wish she would at least give me a call and update me with what happened! I mean don't I deserve to know after all it is my reputation at stake. Now I am the bogus buyer online when I have made it a point never to get things I cannot afford. The other thing that makes me mad is that she told me to just find someone to buy the item, I mean the nerve of her it should be her who should be looking for a buyer and not me and I feel like strangling her.
@consultrainer (4991)
• India
4 Aug 10
dear friend.. I would suggest you to make two promises on this account.
1. To forgive the friend who caused you so much of anguish and face-loss.
because, it would like building dams for lost waters. You would not only be saving yourself from disease, you would also have time to think methods to regain your lost name and face online.
2. To write down on a piece of paper, in bold, "I AM NOT FIT TO HELP others with my money" --- and put that paper in your money-purse, wallet.
this reminds you not to give your money to friends.
(i have many such personal experiences, when I had come to the rescue of my friends, and later, they vanished totally, or forgot to acknowledge the help through repaying me back the monies) ...
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
i see we noticed who are "NOT FRIENDS" who rans away from you if they don't pay you back.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
4 Aug 10
I used to pay for so called friend's but no longer bother as I no longer bother with them. I found out the hard way that what I was doing was stupid, but I'm not bothered by it anymore. Now, my husband and I only loan money to people we trust, and that's usually family only.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
we are not relatives but her brother is my aunt's husband and given that I gave in to her request! She made me furious right now I could cry. She never called back to tell me what she could do to pay for the item. I wish the item wasn't costly and given the situation I am in I just paid for my fur kids' hospitalization which took a toll at my budget.
@aevans (255)
• Malaysia
5 Aug 10
I have friends that owe me money for a gift to another friend. We all share some money for the gift, it is been few weeks after we bought the gift, but until now I haven't get all my money back. It is hard for me to ask my money back, each time I ask for the money they just ask me to wait for few more days. I'm more like a beggar now. I hate doing that and I think should just forget about the money, and learn from the lesson never have any money interest between friends.
@jamuls (530)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
i did that a few times for a friend in need, not same as your situation. payed some debts for him and his family and i never got the money back but it's all cool. money is just money, it always comes back assuming you know where to look for it. friendship on the other hand is very hard to come by.
on the other hand, my gf is always a victim of this online shopping thing, she's got this cousin who likes to "buy" stuff through her account and ask her to pay for it first... she'd then pay back in a few months or so or just miraculously forget about the debt. sucks because i sometimes end up paying for those things, as gifts for my gf...
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
4 Aug 10
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Yes, I think most of us have done something similar. I have signed to help another get something which made me obligated to pay and I did have to pay because they would not, citing the same "financial" problems. Well I have them too just like anyone else.
When someone asks us to do something like this for them we are thinking they will hold up their end of the "bargain" when they don't it causes hurt feelings all the way around.
Leaving someone to pay for what you want is not a good thing to do.
I would never ever do this to anyone.
I hope your friend makes good on this with you. I also hope it did not set you back too much.
Best of luck to you on collecting the money.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
4 Aug 10
No, because it is usually me on the end of needing someone to buy something because I don't have a credit card. But I never ask anyone to buy anything for me unless I have the money in hand to give to them first..I'm sorry this happened, maybe you can get some of your money back by reselling it??
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
4 Aug 10
Sadly that's why you can't do anything nice that involves putting your reputation or your money on the line. No matter how long you've known someone... I had a BFF from HS and she owed me money for months... I made next to nothing and I needed that money to get gas or groceries... so after waiting for so long and finally getting the money I never obliged her with anything she couldn't pay for first.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
4 Aug 10
Yes, It has happened to me and just as you said lesson learned. I had to pay for one of the girls who stood up in my weddings hoop that went under her dress. She was suppossed to pay me back but never did. I also ordered some Tupperware for someone and they never paid me back for that, I kept the item but I would have rather not spent the money. Even when I was a kid and I was a Girl Scout someone bought cookies and then refused to pay when they came. I learned about how rotten some people can be at an early age. I would never do that to a friend if I had someone buy something for me I would do what ever it took to pay them back.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
4 Aug 10
since most of our friends and family dont have pay pal, we ask if we can do that for them, our rule is give us the money first then we will, until then we dont oder nothing at all. its a rule to follow.
cant you return it
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
Too bad, am too selfish to do such bidding.
I ain't that stupid as i have been fooled before but not to that extend. for me, they're NOT FRIENDS but users who uses her cycle of troops to do their bidding.
It's a lesson alright, you shouldn't have accepted it in the first place. in this world today, there's no absolute friends at all.
If ever i hear something like that. then, there's only one word that's on my head ; NO
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
4 Aug 10
Oh yes, I hate it. It happened to me before. I have a contract with a travel agent where I normally bought my airplane tickets. I have a 30 days credit payment term. When a colleague asked me to book a one way ticket to his home town, I just obliged, considering he was a colleague that I would meet at work place everyday. Well, he got the ticket, he went to his home town and two days later he sent resignation to the office and did not return at all to clear all his obligations at the office. I called his cell phone - no luck - he changed his number. So, I have to pay for his ticket.
Now, without seeing the money, I would not do anything.
Now, without seeing the money, I would not do anything. @meissen0212 (67)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
Paying for someone's debt is really a mess. It's a nightmare to think and imagine but we are all victims as such by those people who takes advantage of our trust on them. One moral on this occasion is to be alert in terms of money matters. There are a lot of broken friendships in terms of money. Few are the responsible who can manage both their relationship to their peers in terms of finances.
