please help me!!
By april_02
@april_02 (82)
Philippines
August 8, 2010 9:25pm CST
I have a guy friend for three years now.He is my officemate & I fell in love with him from the start. This feeling keeps on bothering me and it came into a point that I confronted him & told him that I love him. But he rejected me & said to me that we are only friends & he doesn't love me. The feeling is not mutual. Now I am trapped in a situation of not knowing what to do next. Should I stop inviting him to go out together? Should I stay as far as possible from him now?? Is there a chance in the future that his feelings will change towards me & will still love me in the future??
Please help me. Thanks
4 people like this
25 responses
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
9 Aug 10
Nobody accepts the Love in the first sense..
I think u have the right guy, u should try ur best to make that guy to fall in love with you..
Here i have seen many of my friends failing the first time when they propose and they will not leave it if he\she rejects in the first time, they will try their best to get him\her to fall in love..
Be nice to him and do his favorite things and be with him regularly and try to capture his attention and within 3 or 4 months he will say that he is in love with you!!
1 person likes this
@soulesschild (35)
• Vietnam
9 Aug 10
But what happen if you tried your best and he still not fall in love ?
1 person likes this
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
9 Aug 10
Time to look for another!!!!
But u just cant skip at your first attempt!!!!
@vikkitita (194)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Now that the guy knows your feelings and he has blatantly told you that he cannot reciprocate your feelings, wouldn't it be that he will already avoid you? Wouldn't he feel awkward talking or getting in any way close to you under such circumstances? If I were the guy, I probably would.
Stop hurting yourself, girl. Move on. He is not worth it. Stop chasing him. If you do, the more he'll hide from you.
If I were in your situation, this is what I'll do... I will try to reinvent myself. I will try to avoid him and make efforts to restore back my pride, self-confidence and self-respect. I will find ways on how I can be attractive with other men. I will start dating other men and show him that there are also other men who would desire me too. And mind you, girl, if he does realized that you stopped chasing him, maybe he'll be the one chasing you in the end.
1 person likes this
@vikkitita (194)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Yes my dear jennyze. Men love challenges. If you chase them, they ran away because they feel that you're so easy to get and they are not in any way challenged. But if you stop chasing them and focus your attention on somebody else, they will be the one now to chase you and try to win your attention back. That's human nature.
@adarshprbhat (30)
• India
9 Aug 10
hi april,
The action to be taken entirely depends on u.How do u feel after being rejected?? Do u think that u cannot live without his love or do u feel that u can manage without him?
If u feel that u cannot live without him, then its better to be in touch with him, cos u dunno where and when love happens, Just be friendly with him and let him know how deep ur feelings r for him.
If u feel u can manage without him then dont think too much, just try to be pretty normal. Try to maintain the friendly relationship which u had with him earlier, i know its difficult, but with time, its possible.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Hi, april 
That is sad but I still admire you for having the courage to be honest about your feelings with him. Now I think you must keep your cool and move on. Do not stay away but stop inviting him too. It may be awkward between the two of you now but you have to show him that you are not a silly girl who would go nuts just because you got rejected, that might turn him off. Try to make yourself busy. Who knows, he might start noticing you and start falling for you.
Smile, april. Have a nice day 
That is sad but I still admire you for having the courage to be honest about your feelings with him. Now I think you must keep your cool and move on. Do not stay away but stop inviting him too. It may be awkward between the two of you now but you have to show him that you are not a silly girl who would go nuts just because you got rejected, that might turn him off. Try to make yourself busy. Who knows, he might start noticing you and start falling for you.
Smile, april. Have a nice day 
@fanzejian (372)
• China
10 Aug 10
I don't agree with you. the sames thing ever happened to me .Well ,I just was that man that seemed cruel.OK.that is the story.
the girl who is my classmate are studying at CQPT,majoring the information management and information system. so do I . I remembered that we knew each other by our classmate who is my fellow-townsman.we just went out to eat a meal or to KTV.we celebrated her birthday . just so for two years. I admited that I love her for those days .
"I bought a pair of shoe that is short-heel "she told me .
I heartbeat. I can't help telling her I love you ,please be my girl friend ,even my wife .but I did't say what I wanted to .
"why did you do that? I believe that you are very beautiful if you wear that high-heel shoes." my heart is the mouth to say.
I hnow why I say like that .because I won't give her happiness.so i rejected her .
Now maybe April met same thing .
so it is very important to ask others else privately what the reasons realy is.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
9 Aug 10
You should never keep pursuing someone who already made it clear that they were not interested in you romantically. The more you push him into trying to like you more, the more he will turn away from you. I would suggest keep being his friend and show him what he is missing out on and you might be surprised that he comes around and starts liking you in the same way you like him.
@kreasa03 (54)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
let go of this guy maybe he isn't the right guy for you aside from that if you continue with yourself to love him it will turn to a one side of love.would you want it?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Aug 10
Hi April,
It's time to face reality. From the sounds of it, you have a huge crush on this guy but it isn't love. It's just a crush. Will he STILL love you in the future? He has made it clear that he doesn't love you NOW so I wouldn't count on it. He is being honest with you which is what you would want...right? I don't think you have to avoid him but you should put any thoughts of it going deeper than a friendship right out of your mind. It could possibly change in the future but I don't think you should put much hope into that. He has made himself very clear...he wants to be your friend only. If you push for more then you may push him away from even wanting to be your friend.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
10 Aug 10
Hi, april_02. You may never know.. I think that for now it is best to just remain friends with him. Don't pursue your inner feelings out. Just accept that he just wants to be only friends and that is all. Who knows, maybe his feelings will change for you down the line.
@Absinto (2385)
• Portugal
9 Aug 10
I agree with most MyLotters when they say that this was just the 1st attempt and some people dont accept or dont know how to deal with this.
I think you should keep up as a friend and show him what he doesnt see, those things that could make himm fall in love with you or not.
After that if he still doesnt feel anything well i guess your just going to have to move on.
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
Hmmm. I think you should stop. You're just making yourself look like a puppy following him around and trying to make him love you. It's not healthy, and maybe if you show him that you are not that interested anymore, maybe he would change his mind. There are guys like that, they don't like it when you look too interested in them, but would suddenly change their mind if you seems like you have no time for them, or that you are not interested at all.
@diablo24life (198)
• Canada
9 Aug 10
IF hes not interested in you then hes not interested in you. the more you push somethign on someone they will be pushed away. what brings someone to be interested in you is when you ignore that person. clingness and weirdness in general is a huge turnoff for people.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Since he had already bluntly said that he cannot return your feelings, you should move on. And with that in mind, you should try to see him less, give yourself more space to breath as you overcome your feelings. Because you won't be able to get rid of your love for him if you keep being around him.
If ever there is a chance in the future, then let's leave it to the future, shall we? For today, you should be thinking only of the present, and how you can ease your burden. Besides, women fall in love more easily than men. So if he ever falls for you in the future, he will just have to make you fall for him all over again, won't he? :)
@alienakshay (103)
• India
9 Aug 10
if you are trapped in her love than you should stop inviting him to go out together and stay far from him as much as you can. then there is a chance in the future that he may love you.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Aug 10
April
It is a thing that you often hear about - falling in love and getting rejected - then comes the question - should I retry or should I quit!
The solution lies with you. At this moment you should concentrate more on your work and yes, it is going to be difficult as he is you colleague and confrontations would happen forcing you to go back to the love part.
But there is no love any more. He has told you that he is not interested and there is no point of dragging this matter ahead. It has no future. You might thing as you mention - Is there a chance in the future that his feelings will change towards me & will still love me in the future - Yes, when you are spending some time with someone, you start to caring that person but this is not all that love is about... there are many things involved here. But that doesnt mean that he becomes your life partner.
@aldawn22 (224)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
OMG! You're really in a difficult situation and since you are just working together for sure your not working comfortably because of the confessions that you made. I believed that there is still a chance that he will fall in love with you in the future but since he said that he's not in love with you right now so I guess there is no reason to push yourself to him. There are still a lot of guys, try to be busy with activities that is useful to your life. Love comes in unexpected place and time so just be patient.
@czanwell_30 (717)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Well you are brave to have told him what you feel. Better than to keep it for another year when it's been 3 years already. Now that you've told him maybe he will become indifferent and will try to avoid you. All you need to do is act normal, and try to converse with him again and tell him that you realize that you want him to be a friend to you still if you can't be lovers. And try to forget the feelings you have for him, better he is a friend, and maybe if you two are close he will notice your good qualities. But while in the process, let yourself be freed. Go out for a date, go out with friends because I believe that in this world there is that SOMEONE who are really meant for us. Hope this helps. Have a nice day.
@cajimenez (452)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Come on , move on... he' just not that into you...
You could still be friends with him . but , don't expect too much...
@Onions (49)
• Singapore
9 Aug 10
You can still be friends with him if he doesn't mind. No there's no need to avoid each other, it will only make things more awkward. Try to face it with courage. Get to know each other well. I believe you two have been for 3 years.
There might be a chance, just be friends first and see how things work out. But don't spend all the attention on him. There's probably some guys out there whom you might love and he loves you as well.
Cheers
@soulesschild (35)
• Vietnam
9 Aug 10
You are in the opposite situation with me. I have a girlfriend. We met each other since last 4 years and I fell in love with her. But until now, I still can't say that I love her. I'm afraid that she will reject.
