To hold on or give up? :(

That's total B.S. I never went past high school. I did everything from cleaning other peoples homes to office work for the sake of my kids. Give him the ultimatum!

he sounds kinda lazy to me. we know someone like that and he needs to be pushed into any kind of work.

Before you married him, I believe you already know who he was and what he have. However you still pursued in marrying him because you love him as he loves you. Marriage is giving it all and accepting it all. As much as he wanted to find a good paying job for you and your child he simply couldn't because he lacks educational qualifications. Your case is no longer new, just keep holding on if you really love him and your child. As long as he does the house choirs and baby sitting then try understanding him. Save your marriage and let not money ruin your family. Stop thinking about the fact that you are the only income earner because it will just upset you everytime. Give him a longer time to regain himself. Shot up sometimes, because you might wake up oneday having everything but lossing him.

No, he can do something! Is he going to school in an effort to finish his studies? If not is he atleast working even if its just target or kohls, somewhere to help take some of the burden off you?? If not, honey well you can do bad all by yourself unless he wakes up and start taking the time and effort needed to raise that child adequately, bring in some sort of income and keep a happy wife, there is no need to stress yourself out anymore than necessary find a good babysitter, to watch your child while you work and somewhere to stay for the mean time this husband of yours needs an ultimatum, a total wake up call either he helps or you're out of his life forever, you can not carry the burden of the baby working fulltime ( i assume) and a useless husband you deserve much more. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders you can figure this out. Go girl power to us beautiful women how much we are capable of and the unbelievable strentghs we have, good luck darling!

Hi michian, Your situation is very difficult.And that also happened to me back then, but the difference is that it only took months that I was the only one working for the family.. I guess you and your husband should really talk heart to heart about that matter. Always keep in mind that when both of you have a talk, take consideration of his ego. Avoid saying things that may hurt his feelings. I know how he feels. I think he feels sorry for his self for not having to finish his studies, and maybe he is afraid that he can't find any work that he could fit in. Boost his motivation and self-confidence. Tell him that he is not doing that for his own but for your child. There is no harm in trying so motivate him to just even try to find a job. Tell him that you do believe that being a musician is not the thing he can do. Show him your faith in his abilities. He will need it more from you.. That's what I did with my husband too. And he listened to me so he pursued with his job hunting and got a job. I hope this helps..

Hi my friend. I dont have much to say about this because I never got married. But I think if you really love this man you should be with him. Is he blocked or what? I think no! So he can find a job afterwards. Please think about it. You have a children. Thin him/her too. Regards, Baran

I am not a marriage counselor so it will be hard on my part to give you the right advise that you expect. But then, I would say - hold on. At the moment or for the past one year he is under stress everyday, for sure, for not being able to support his family. So give him some time and some suggestions that might be easy for him to handle and accept, rest assured that one day, you will be very happy you stayed on.

Well, it must be hard. I can't tell you to hold on or let go as well. When it comes to money, there are always problems. What I can suggest you is, ask yourself, ask your heart. Nobody knows the best for you, except you. Good luck

Hold on is the best solution for me since you already had a baby. It's not good to give up just because of financial difficulties, I know that your husband tries hard to look for a job buy since he doesn't have any diploma then it's really difficult to find one. For now you have to sacrificed because that's the only thing to do. Hold on and don't give up, there is still hope.

you already know that right from the start but what's really important for you to consider when you reach that level in your relationship. you knew the kind of standards of who he was so the best way is just simple ask him the things he really know to make extra income to cope up with the needs of your family life so that he can help you in any way he can.

I am in a similar situation but my husband and I are both doing online programs trying to make a living right now because jobs are so scarce in this area. I had to leave my job in health care due to illness and applied for social security disability. Of course they denied it as they do almost everybody so my appeal is pending and we are trying to stay afloat on just my son's SSI and whatever we can make online. My husband has problems getting a job because before me he was with a woman who claimed that she punched him in the nose and made it bleed and he was convicted of assault. I met his ex and she even admitted to me that she lied about it so he went to jail for something he didn't do then she had the nerve to ask if I would be her friend...grrr. We have an eight year old son together and he is a special needs child. I have found that every little bit I can make online helps. Does he know the internet? Maybe he could get into online programs too and work from home while taking care of the baby.

Hi Michianone! I think a musician can get a pretty good income these days, if he just look in the right places, and welcome new possibilities. Has he heard of YouTube? There are a lot of tools now that he can use, a lot of jobs he can get, even though those jobs don't get him a 8-5 routine everyday. As long as you see him still striving hard, I think you still give him a chance. Try talking to him so as to convince him that he can still get something done. If he continues to shrug his shoulders at you, then that's the time you start thinking of moving on.

Reading all the posts, I'm sure we all realize that the downturn in our economy has taken it's toll on more people than ever before. If we can encourage each other, listen to teach other and verbally and emotionally support each other through these times we would be in a (hopefully) better place. No one is alone in this. To suggest one person does this or that may not be the best approach unless asked because we aren't in their shoes - sometimes we just need to air our heart and ya know what? That's okay. I believe that there will be a solution for this situation it just may take some time to allow it to come into being, but it will come. One day at a time and look up, always..

why don't you speak with your husband? Have a heart to heart talk with him, tell him all your concerns, but please just talk. No screaming and no nagging. Just talk. tell him that you needed him, that he needs to support you because you can't do it alone. Tell him that you need your partner, and that's him. Tell him he needs to wake up and start being a husband. God bless sister (",)

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems. An unhealthy economy is not helping us any. You know my cousin is going through the same thing. And she's got 2 kids who are 6 and 10 years old. A big factor to consider is whether you still love each other. If you both do, then you can work together to make things better for your family. Since you're the one who's working, let him take care of the house. I mean, really take the reins when it comes to household matters including taking care of your baby. Many husbands do that and it's nothing to be ashamed of. That's the situation you're in so why not make the most out of it. You can also brainstorm with each other on how he can make a little money on the side. He can find a new band to play with so maybe he can work at night on a gig. Or maybe you guys could make some things that you could sell. Or maybe he can find work online. Anything, just so we could have additional income. What's important is that you two keep a level head while discussing these things so that he won't become defensive for not contributing to the household income. Also, talk about time management while discussing other means to earn income. Some men might feel overwhelmed to be facing household chores and sideline work altogether. Women are kinda used to juggling work and home. Good luck to both of you!

Hey there friend. I know you are quite confuse and problematic regarding your husband. I wanna ask you something. On the day you got married is he jobless already? If you would answer YES, then that means that you marry him because of you love him that you don't see that he is jobless and can't support you when the time comes that you will start a family. You know what? We are on the same situation before. I'm the one who's working and my husband stay at home. I never despise him and treat him as he is the less important person in the world because he's not earning a living. I had my patience and I told him that I'm quite weary of working and I'm willing to help him and support him while looking for a job. So he started as a waiter, then after working at night he still help me with our small store and fast food during the morning. And then my waiting has come to an end when finally he got home and broke the news that he's going to apply in the ship. And right now, He's the only one working and I stayed at home to take care of our kids. I know he's very happy because he feel he is the boss. The feeling of being the captain of the ship is so fulfilling. I'm telling you if you still love him stay with him not only during happy times but on rough times and I assure you he won't forget that. Just take some time. don't treat him hard. Just talk to him in a way that he won't be degraded as a man. Hope your ship will sail smoothly. Hope this helps.

have patience ,and try for better ,future is bright ,better things will come,god is great