how can we say that your partner is the one you're looking for?
By ree_yah
@ree_yah (462)
Philippines
August 10, 2010 4:42pm CST
We have relationships... It is the spice of our lives. Some can live without it, some cant live without. But i wonder how we can say that this will be the man that i am going to spend my whole life with. Is there a manual for this? Is there a guidebook? or we just have to grab one man and just live with it.... :) I am a person who plans everything in my life. And i am confused with relationships, because it just cant be planned... well enough to make it the best. One cannot have plan a, plan b, or plan c. Maybe relationships are made just like that... "come what may"... how bout u mylotters, do you know how relationships work and say my partner is the an that i can spend my whole life with???
1 person likes this
13 responses
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Relationship works for me when I am attracted to someone. Someone I can look up to and someone will make me feel special. Yes they are spice, only if you really think you wanted them already when you first saw them. Very true, relationships are hard to be planned. Faith will also work very well. If you don't want to spend your life in misery with that man, leave now or torture yourself for a lifetime. Choose someone you love, not by background, beauty or any. Someone who also loves you as well and begging for your love and trust.
1 person likes this
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
theres a funny word that you typed there danverxxcore.... "begging for your love" :) thats too harsh for me i think.. i dont wanna go and beg for love.. i can imagine how we can beg for love: " please love me back... i will give you the sun and moon.." eheheh!! thats old skool!! Joke!! ehehh goodluck danverxxcore!! :) happy my lotting!!
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
Thank you :) I'm glad I made you laugh hehehe. Happy mylotting too!
@daaprice628 (45)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Is this discussion for women only, or can a guy jump in (an older guy at that). Having been married for 20 years and seeing that end in a divorce I was certainly confused about relationships, wondering if true and everlasting love really existed. That was until I met my current partner. I always went with the theory than a lasting relationship and/or marriage took a lot of work. God knows for over 20 years I busted my butt trying to keep my relationship with my wife going, including going to therapy and comprising much of who I really was. Then I discovered my "real" soul mate. And guess what! It isn't a lot of work. Our conversations are effortless. There are no "uh-ohs" to gloss over. There are no annoying personality traits to set either one of us off. We are both simply connected and in love. The clincher on this for me was that after months of long distance corresponding and talking on the phone, we got together physically and it was 14 days straight of the most unbelievable unbridled passion I've ever experienced. Now I can't imagine finding anyone else that could even come close to exciting me like this woman does. Believe me, a connection of the souls with the right person is as effortless as falling out of a boat.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Hi daaprice628,
I can hardly type here, 'cause my eyes are filled with tears. What a beautiful come back to love. I just don't know what to say here so I will just let my heart write this.
You were with someone for 20 years, some people would say that was a lifetime. Once upon a time you two loved each other, yes? Then, the excitement started to fade into the night. You ended up with a divorce and probably some bad memories that over shadows the good ones. Now, you brushed yourself off and started all over again.
When you have, as you said, "busted your butt" doing every conceivable thing to try and save your marriage but to no avail, it was just time to "throw in the towel." We all hate the feeling of failure, and a divorce certainly makes you feel like a failure. It also, sometimes, makes you give up on love.
Someimes we get into a relationship that wasn't meant to be in the firs place, and when it is the right time that relatioship will end, not matter what efforts we give to it trying to save it(divine intervention).
Somewhere deep inside of us, we know that there is someone (our soul mate)out there waiting for us.
You have convinced me that true love is possible. We just has to believe that We are worthy to receive it, and when it shows up, We should embrace it with hope, faith, love and gratitude.
You are an inspiration to all who have fallen out of love with the wrong person, and are now looking for their true soul mate.
Blessings
Somewhere deep inside of us, we know that there is someone (our soul mate)out there waiting for us.
You have convinced me that true love is possible. We just has to believe that We are worthy to receive it, and when it shows up, We should embrace it with hope, faith, love and gratitude.
You are an inspiration to all who have fallen out of love with the wrong person, and are now looking for their true soul mate.
Blessings@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
Hi guys!! Thanks for the beautiful responses... I am very happy for you daaprice!! a soulmate is the greatest gift of god. U'know what... i dont believe in it until now... What i believed is that in order for love to be nurtured... it also need sacrifices. And that must be yor first 20 years of marriage. But however you gave your best sacrifices.. it still didnt work...
Im afraid for that to come to my present relationship... I dont feel like we are soulmates. we are just so different in so many ways... but we still cling to each other because we have kids. kids we loved so much. kids which holds on to our relationship. is it a sign???
Right now i still believe that i can change everyhing were going through... we can work on it. or we can just go on without the romance... just for the kids. but is it worth it??
@daaprice628 (45)
• United States
12 Aug 10
I'm glad I was able to bring you and hopefully others hope. I do feel truly blessed that I've found my soul mate. It's a wonderful feeling. And like I said, when it's right there's no work involved. On the contrary, it simply works by itself.
Peace
@chiquitty (24)
• India
11 Aug 10
As u said u cannot plan a relationship. You have to go with the gut feeling. if you are comfortable being yourself around the person i would say you can definitely begin a good relationship. Everything happens for a reason so if you meet a person who makes you feel you will be super comfy spending your life with him,go ahead and take the step. And don worry about the future ;)
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Actually, this is one tough question to answer. But for me, being so organized can't do nothing when it comes on heart issues. For me, though you want everything be according to what you want it to be. I am also a very organized person and sometimes tagged as a perfectionist, but I don't know, when it comes to heart issues, I'm such a very opposite one. I couldn't see what people say against him. For as long as he loves me, makes me happy, and respect me, I believe that he meant to be my partner for life.
@naoimi09 (106)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I think nobody knows if your partner at the moment is the one really meant for you. I believe that it is something where in, if the person is Mr. Right it will just come into your life until you suddenly realize that he/ she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Maybe it is really human nature to be in love. Sometimes the least person you are expecting is the one you are destined to be with. Life is full of surprises, nobody knows what lies ahead on your future.
I'm into a perfect relationship, I must say. But being in a relationship for how many years, until this time I am not really sure that my partner is the one destined for me. I just want to enjoy the time being with him. Of course I don't have plan yet to settle for good, but if ever he is my Mr. Right, I would be very happy, and I must say that I am very much lucky enough to have him.
Relationship works in a two simple things. LOVE and TRUST.
Good luck to you REE_YAH, hope you can find yours.
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
i already find mine naoimi09... but after 8 years im having not too serious a problem.. maybe its just me.. :) i just want to feel secured in this relationship. i dont want him to leave me, i want him to be mine forever. well maybe ill just go treaure our happy moments and forget about not so happy ones. :) thanks for the response naoimi09!! hope ayour relationship goes on longer than youthink it will be..
@myiesha (96)
• Singapore
11 Aug 10
I can't say how relationship works, and I think nobody can.
It will depend on how two people in a relationship wanted it to be, but not really exactly how you wanted it to be due to many factors that may affect the relationship.
Personally speaking, the first time I saw my husband though I don't know him yet at that time I told my friends right there and then, "That guy, we will have something special together". I don't know why I said that maybe I felt the connection.
How did I know that he's the one I'm going to spend my life with? I didn't know, I just felt it the whole time we were together. Of course, ours isn't a perfect relationship. We still have a long way to go.
MyLotters, my apologies if this is long and mushy :)
@angel_kaycee (1112)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
hi there. well, this is a bit hard to explain. but as for me, i don't think there will ever be a perfect relationship. because there is no such manual or guidebook on how to have a good relationship. i learn from my own experiences. and i think that's the best way that taught me how to handle my current relationship well (in fact we're on our seventh year now). but even though i tried harder not to do the mistakes i did from the past our relationship was never as perfect as we all wanted our relationships to be. i may say for now that i wanted to spend a lifetime with him, but still i don't know what happens tomorrow. and we both agreed to that, so what we do for now is enjoy and cherish each moment together. whatever happens we both have good memories to kindle. so from then on, we tell each other and other people too that what we wanted is to share life together as long as it takes. i believe we can never tell that "he really is the one" unless we spent a lifetime with him, because i think even married couples separate nowadays. i hope i've explained myself good enough. it was quite hard for me, who grows on a non-english country to express feelings in another language. anyway, happy mylotting! 
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Congratulations on your seventh year!! mistaes is a part of our lives i guess. People do mistakes and we forgive them because we love them. i just read a book.. it said that we can make our relationship work if we love unconditionally. maybe its true.,. We just have to accept our partner the way he is.. all his good and bad... i mean his or her good and bad.. :)maybe all we have to do in a realtionship is LOVE.. :)
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Love manual? Love guidebook? Well yes, there are books and manuals for love and some books even have a guide to Mr. Right..but this doesn't prove anything. This just makes things even harder for believers to look for Mr. Right. I believe that if you see and feel the connection between two couples they may be perfect for each other..may, but not yet sure. As stated, there are a lot of couples separate nowadays and for sure they went in a stage where they did said this guy is the man for me, but still they end up separately after the marriage. I agree with you ree_yah, that relationships really are made just like "come what may". If both parties decide to marry after years or even months of being together because they believe that they are each others perfect partner then be it..no matter how they end their story just as long as they believe that they are made for each other so be it. Just as long as both parties feel the same way and are happy to be together then he/she may be the one he/she is looking for.
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
So does that mean that in order to have a lasting relationship, we have to work for it?? Maybe that's true... theres this author who says that love need to be nourished inorder to grow. because if we dont take care of it.. just like a flower it will die... :)sad but true!!
@apresto (127)
• Bulgaria
11 Aug 10
If you are looking for a guide for finding your soul mate and loved one, then it is highly reccomended that you stop searching for it because it is already in you. You have it. Recognition should come both from the heart and mind but when they are separated you can get confused sometimes. You mind can be telling you "yes, this one is for you, he is the best, it can't get better than that, take it" but in a month or a year you can get disappointed by the way things go with time. I should say a big percent of the relationships nowadays are just as you said "come what may" and are in noone's control to have the best partner in life and love. I would reccomned you being careful but not too careful and have a freedom of choice and not limit yourself with one person when you sense that it is not enough. True love should be a hundred percent satisfying. At least I am expecting that to happen with me. Relationships are one of the hardest things to fully figure out by logic. Taking someone for your real love and true soul mate just by logic should be wrong, don't you think?
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
11 Aug 10
Well love just happens...When you fall in love you never know if you will be spending your whole life with that person, but as time goes you feel so attached to that person that you cant live without him / her. Life turns out to be sick without that person around you. You start feeling jealous when you see that person getting involved in a talk with someone. You never know what happens to you...but it just happens. Your mind does not decide, but your heart decides it.
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I really dont like the feeling of being jealous.. it just isnt fair to both parties.. were all here to live why do we have to feel bad if that partner is just socializing with others? arent we a social animal?? but too bad its happenin. We must be really made to feel that way. I for one is a very jealous partner. i just hope it doesnt ruin our relationship. :)
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
11 Aug 10
I had relationships and in my opinion you have to stop and think about leaving this person, when for the first time you know you ain't going to be complete without him so that's the person.
For me it was hard in the beginning cause it wasn't that different from previous relationship, but I think with time we end up angry or upset with every person that is too near so we don't feel in love all the time and that's confusing.
Everytime I consider if I can live without this boyfriend and that boyfriend I always felt like I could. And as there wasn't love in there I couldn't get over their flaws.
Of course we can live alone and it's not up to someone else to complete us, but I think we can find out that right person (not a prince, maybe that doesn't exist) when it's going to be very, very sad to live without him.
@sincerelyne (156)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
It's so easy to make plan of what do we want do in the future,the problem is, how to achieve it. but we can never plan to whom we fall in love with, true love cannot be measured, you can never choose,but you can decide. i don't believe on destiny, but i believe on being meant to be.if love is pure and sincere love will always find the way itself to meet half way with one another, because love is the longing of the heart, so i believe that true love will always end up to whom it may belong.
