Resentment
By billzehua
@billzehua (573)
China
August 11, 2010 9:15am CST
Have you ever hated someone to the death because of any reason? where do you think the resentment come from? Because he or she failed you or brought you to huge anguish? Yersterday my love towards my gf suddently turned into a torrential stream of hate and resentment.It was around half a month she left me to seek her study in the USA, and out of nowhere I received my pink slip from her yesterday.I have been thinking that we were so much in love and mated to each other that the striking break-up totally punched me down to the abyss! There's utterly no telltails on this untill she told me herself online! She has been projecting such a cozy and happy image of our future to me and I finally convince myself to believe in what she thought abt us and then she turned against me with just one explaination-unsuitable. Well, I just don't want to wast my saliva going back our two year's history now. I was so angry yet heart-broken by her cruel and ruthless decision that suddenly I found myself so resentful towards her!
Even today I still hated her for the fact that she dumped me when I am so egagaged in this relationship. However in a flash of thought amidst sorrow this afternoon,I had a question to myself that why should I be so pityful and narrow-minded to hold resentment to her? What exactly is the factor that drives me so hard to hate her? Then I had a rough read of Max Scheler's theory about human emotion resentment. He claimed two sources for human resentment, one being the case where one's insulted and the other being the case where one's jealousy something which used to belong to him yet now falls into other's possession.Now what's my case? I could in a way be fitted into the first scinario, but that's not enough to explain things clear I guess. But whichever case it is, resentment seems to be the easiest way to release the mountainous anguish.
Ever since we were together, I have never had any thought that she would propose break-up to me and I have also been so devoted to manage our relationship.The love to her was so strong that suddently her decision sorta of directed that love upside down to utmost hate! Yersterday after hanging up the phone, I was so determined to cut her out, I deleted all the contacts and the pictures of us! I hate her so much for the fact that she cheated on me in that holding-on-to-our-love thing!But now,that hate is becoming weaker and weaker, I asked myself that why couldn't I just be lenient enough to be thankful for whatever happens and let her go. Somehow I have waken up from the dream and accepted the sobering reality, but why could I not just take it all? Now I'm thinking about putting down that resentment behind me from this moment on, and hopefully one day when I totally get over this I could still smile at those sweet memories.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@zralte (4178)
• India
11 Aug 10
Yep, that's very cruel. I guess she thought that new place, new bf sort of thing.... Whatever the reason, you have every right to hate her. On the other hand, what would hating her get you? Nothing. You will just be punishing yourself and she probably would not care anyway.
I know it is very easy to say 'Forget about her, she is not worth it'. But then forgetting someone you cared for and had loved is never easy.
You made the right decision by trying to put down your resentment and moving on. Move on...she did, and now it is your turn. Happy thoughts.....
@billzehua (573)
• China
11 Aug 10
Thanks Zralte, thanks for your understand,I'll move on, forgive her, and be lenient enough.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
11 Aug 10
That was a cruel thing she did, sweetie.
If my boyfriend do that to me, i will definately hate him as well.
To build up such resentment cannot be good, but on the other hand, how else can we control those emotions.
And yes, why would you suffer for her wrong doing.
It really hurts like hell, though.
I hope you will be fine, though.
TATA.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
8 Feb 12
When you live with resentment, do not have anything to offer. Resentment is caused by unpleasant memories hostile feelings caused by someone. When you're resentful, you hate, desire for revenge. Resentment, in my opinion, is the feeling that comes over and over and over you. I crush, grind you, eat what is best in you. When someone hurts us tremendously when we are disappointed, we feel wronged or removed from one's life, those feelings that we have fallen back to us but each time with greater intensity.
Although it may not have realized, you're resentful or simply can not have normal relations with others. You can not make friends, and simply can not do the things they were doing another time. That's because it's like a disease. You begin to eat inside, to give out. And it gives out, filled with negative feelings and those around you. And nobody wants to sit next to someone surly and complaining all the time. Nobody wants to sit next to someone who devises plans for revenge. It's hard having gone through, it's hard to not imagine why just you. You think you can not forgive that person until you see avenged. But you only hurt yourself if you keep on you all that bitterness. Why relive that moment again and again? It's hard to leave behind any scars that you have caused, but not impossible. And other people have succeeded. And I succeeded. Can you.
Why be resentful when you might be filled with love comes upon it?
