Should I say it?

bad idea, dude. if you can help it, never taint your relationship. if you managed to keep it a secret then someone up there must love you a lot. stop what you're doing cause you're not only hurting your girlfriend but you as well. having an affair is a waste of time, money and uhm... strength. yeah it gives you this superb ego that you got yourself a new pus*y. now what? conscience... guilt? forget it. be happy with what you have. good luck!

Honesty is still the best policy. Relationships are built with trust. So, I'd say you should tell her EVERYTHING. It's one way of taking responsibility of your own actions. And you should face the naked truth head on. At least this way, you'll be able to prove to her that you're a man who's honest to a fault (if not a loyal one. sorry. ^^). After your confession, things will definitely be rough for both of you, and it's up to her if she'll still accept you or not (you can't do anything about that). Swallow your pride if she says hurtful things to you, because you should understand that being lied to is a seriously hurtful thing also. Be humble. However, I can't help but think, why did you cheat in the first place if you don't want to lose her?

Are you nuts? If you are having a guilty conscious, get yourself some whiskey and it will rub that crap out for you. If you tell her, either she is going to leave you, or she is going to stay with you and never let you forget it. Don't ever do it again, but don't ever mention it to her LOL

If you are my boyfriend and you'll tell it to me straight from you mouth, my the first question to you would be "is hers tighter than mine"? Oh yeah, that's one slap on the face of a man. Of course, any girl would be furious, some my hide it but most women would burst with anger. But still, ill be appreciative to you by hearing it straight from your tongue. The best thing you'll do when you to talk to her is hold her hands and look into her eyes while popping the truth and then explain why.

yup..it does is a tricky question..i mean..it is good to be honest and surely honesty is the best policy..but in the case here..you'll break the girl's heart and i just don't understand why guys have to cheat their girls..sometimes the girl is nice,pretty and all the things you look in a girl but still that thing gonna happen..the poor girl is the victim here and surely the guys won;t feel a thing after telling her that because he got someone else!

That happened to me, but i didn't hear it from his mouth, i wish it could have. Maybe then i could have forgiven him. If only I heard it from him, i would probably forgive him but with a warning of course, that if he ever do that again i would leave him because i don't want to share with someone else my boyfriend, well my ex now. But even though i forgive him maybe there's still this paranoid feeling that anytime soon he will do it again, and if that happens most probably the relationship wouldn't be the same anymore, so the guys should always assure the girls that they won't do it again and that should really be the case. No one wants to share their love one, especially if you're in a committed relationship. You have a chance to tell her, so use it. God bless (",)

Good Lord! I'm happy that you are honest and wanted to clear your conscience by opening up to your girlfriend but are you really aware of the consequences? I'm a positive thinker but realistically, your actions might lead to the destruction of the relationship. I keep on telling friends especially girls that it's okay to forgive the past women of your boyfriend or husband since you were not in their life before but ANYTHING that happened afterwards, once you are in a relationship with him, you should not forgive and forget because that is cheating. Besides, it this has happened to you while you are in a relationship with him, what is the guarantee that it won't happen again? I'm sorry but if that would happen to me, I will end the relationship. If I choose to still accept my partner after the incident, I would be doubtful every single time he is not beside me. It's hard to repair broken glasses so why break them in the first place?!

Yes, should say it.

If I were in that situation, I would want to know from my boyfriend himself rather than hearing it from someone. I may or may not break up with him depending on the situation and well, who it is, and so forth. Even if I do break up with him because of it, I would respect him for telling me the truth.

I am coming into this being the one that has cheated so I'm telling you from my own experience. I cheated on my boyfriend before he became my husband. I didn't tell him, I hid it from him. It was one time, and I wanted to forget it ever happened. Well, after a couple of weeks he kept hinting that he knew something but he wouldn't out right say it. It turns out, he saw me that night. He was just waiting for me to tell him. The fact that I didn't tell him made our relationship worse. Things were terrible and more than anything I wish I did tell him because he said he would have trusted me sooner if I had told him the truth right away. He stayed with me, I feel like if it's true love you can work through anything. If it isn't true love, maybe their not the one for you anyway. He said we would work through it and we did. We have now been together for 6 years and we have kids together. I would never do that to him again in my life. I am glad that he did forgive me, I just wish I had told him sooner.

I'm a woman and I'm telling you that you should not admit in any case that you have an affair. Don't ever confess, don't ever tell her what you just did even if you get caught in the act. Because if you admit it, for me as an example. Yeah, I may forgive you but I will loose my respect not only to you but to myself. Because the moment a guy admits this, he is really serious in his affair. And if you don't admit it, you can still have your girlfriends thinking what if you are telling the truth or what if it's just a gossip or what if there's someone who just want to break you apart. But this is applicable if you really3x love your girlfriend or wife and you don't want to loose her. because flirting with someone is natural sometimes for a guy and this can't be avoided.

Hi casnoking. I am a married woman and if my husband cheated on me, I would rather have him telling it himself than me finding it out form someone else or some other way. Yes, I will hurt very very badly and it will break my heart. But I would want him to accept that he has made a mistake and truly try to work things out with me. The very fact that he told me about the affair speaks about his sincere attempt to be honest with me and not cheat me again. I will try to find out where things went wrong in our relationship and try to change things. Getting a divorce is very easy. Staying with him and working things out is very difficult, but if both are not willing to let go of each other, it will make the relationship stronger.

It really depends on the girl. I think it says a lot about somebody's character if they don't tell you though. I like honesty even if it's not something I'd like to hear. If my boyfriend said that to me, yea I might break up with him, or put things on hold for a while until he can give me a good reason to trust him again. I would always love him but the trust would take a long time to get back.

hey if you wanna feel good... just do something right for her... just be good... show her that you love her.. do it like youve never done it before! and the best part... dont do it again. if you ask me.. its too sad to be heart broken yknow! i think that girls tells their cheating men to tell them the truth because they wnna decide if theyre keeping you or not. cheating changes everything in a relationship. if the girl is so harsh, shell break up with you, if the girl is kinda good, shell keep you but shes going to wave it on your face everytime you have fights, if the girl is a perfectly good girl, then shell forget about everything.. :) goodluck

I was then in a situation early this year and few days after my birthday when my current bf admitted having an affair with someone else. I was shaking with shock and surprise because my hunch that he is keeping something from me was confirmed. Yes, it is very hurting - too painful that made me speechless. I want to slap him or say bad words straight to his face, but I just can't because I love him. I love him much that I never realized I was being so stupid. I accepted the admission and continued with the relationship despite the fact that he cannot break up with that other girl. I am the one adjusting and being martyr with the situation. My friends are even against with our relationship because of that. Now, I tell you my friend...If you have an affair, whatever the consequence is, better tell your girlfriend that you have an affair than keeping it and telling her lies. If you truly love her, make her feel that you do and assure her of that love. But the greatest assurance or security that you love her is choose and break up with the other girl. There are guys who continue having an affair with another girl because they think it makes them a gentleman not to initiate the break up and wait for the girl to realize the situation and be tired. Unfortunately, that attitude is not a sign of being a gentleman rather a sign of being coward. They are just being safe because they have a fullback that in case one of the girls break him up, he has still an extra. Such kind of thinking is selfishness and fool. So do not be like that. Make a choice. Do not think that you may hurt someone, but that's really the way it is, someone would always gets hurt. In the first place, if you do not want to hurt someone, then never do something that makes her feel hurt.

Hi, casnoking. In cases as this, I feel that it is always better for a woman to find out from her man than to have to find out from someone else. This could really make her angry and upset. It is always best to be honest with the woman that you are with. She may be pissed off about her man having an affair with another woman, but at least she discovered his infidelity from the horse's mouth itself.

This is really a very different case.. One man should have only one wife or one woman, if he is not interested in his lady, he should apply for a divorce with all reasons and if the court is satisfied with your explanations , they might give u a divorce and u can marry the other lady.. But u cannot have affair with other woman .... This is illegal ..

This is a tough situation when something like this happens.I think one should tell him/her the exact thing that he/she feels about someone.Since there can be consequences if they find out the same from someone else.Its always better to clear everything as soon as possible because not only doe it releave stress but also there are 90% chances that they will be your good friends forever.it is exactly opposite when you hide something from them.If they really love you they can easily understand that you are hiding something.

If I were that girl and you told me you still have an affair,,as in you still have an affair to other girl while confessing it to me, I think I'll broke up with you. But of course no matter how hard it is I must forgive you immediately, but I guess you need to prove that you were sorry and you can be trusted again to earn my trust. But if you told a girl that you had and broke up with another girl, and you want to go straight and be honest with her because you love her, I guess maybe she'll think first if she can still continue with the relationship with you, but there's no doubt 100% her love and trust to you was so damage! If I were her just like what I've stated above yes I could forgive you right away, but trust is a different matter, you have to prove it that you can be trusted now... forever...and I guess strong love can save your relationship, Because love that base on commitment and trust will surely holds you tightly...and if it is love that push you to be honest to her and commit your life to her...love that are pure and trustworthy the one that God shows no matter how imperfect we are...he always look at our best, and accept our repentance, but still God trust only those who truly want to pursue a life with him,,,same as, as we truly pursue a life with the special and one person that we love and commits our lives but unfortunately we neglect to take good care of it while that person look at us assured that we love them too.

well me if i had a bf and he said that to me i would just say for him to go to her that i dont want nothing more with him. if he cheated is bcs he wasnt happy with me so i will let him be happy. about you say that some forgive yes thats true some forgive if it was like a kiss one time or something but not an affair for a long time and if they forgive sure relation wont be the same bcs she will think you are cheating or something again if you arrive late at home or something. if you are honest maybe they forgive but sure it wont be the same anymore. but if you lie is very hard that a girl forgives you. anyway if you did that to your gf you must always tell bcs the person deserve to know.