Arranged marriage or free marriage, which has more success?

yup.

I liked the way you said that allknowing. Marriages work out on how the spouses treat each other. Free marriage doesn't necessarily have to be more successful because when you know your partner already, you could always have a more serious fight too. One the other hand in arranged marriages one can develop more respect and love for the other, so basically it goes down to how much you both work it out, together.

Every kind of marriage has successes and failures regardless of how they came about which proves that marriage is all about working together to make it a success.

You're a real romantic, aren't you dreamkeeper? :) I like the passion with which you regard this subject. Love is indeed extremely important. But what if you love the wrong person? And what i men by wrong is that ...tht person holds you back, changes you in a bad way without you even noticing, manipulating you with no bad intention, but in your detriment non the less?

Hello, Galena and thank you for raising this question : "What does a successful marriage mean?" I really liked your response and i have to say that to me, an arranged marriage in which people stay for fear of society's/family's opinion resembles prison a lot. But what about marriages in which the 2 don't love each other in the classical passionate way, but rather have a steady relationship based on mutual respect and admiration and perfect coordination as a ..."team" so to say. A way to make both their lives better than sepparately. Would you consider that to be a successful mariage or a waste of time?

Without choice, what else do we have? What kind of life could we have and still be happy with ourselves?

You have a very good point here. I strongly believe in freedom of choice. Unfortunatelly some people first need to free their minds of predjudice so that their decisions take in consideration both parts of the problem

Thank you for your opinion, sender621! I believe freedom of choice to be important especially when i comes to someones' personal life. Happy myloting and lot of inspired choices! :)

Actually it is the other way round. If you marry according to your parent's choice then they will come to your help but in love marriage, you cant expect your parents to help you since it was your decision to go ahead with the relationship. I am not telling that arranged marriage succeeds and love marriage fails. It is all about your understanding with the spouse. In an arranged marriage, when your parents talk to your spouse and your in-laws then at least some decision can be taken but in a free marriage, you have to face all the problems alone. You will have to bring your spouse to your way by going in his way so that one day they will understand what you want and respect your decision and that is how you can make your marriage succeed. The same concept can also be used in an arranged marriage.

I would like to add one more thing that if we happen to love someone it is not our fault and parents should understand our feelings. It is we who will be spending our entire lives with our spouses. I personally feel that love marriage is better in terms of understanding and we can win our spouses faster compared to arranged marriages.

Hello krkavsy! Thanks for joining and for this interesting perspective. I know in some arranged marriages you can still have a choice, but not in all. And even if you can, what i was interested in is what comes afterward between those 2. I mean....yes, marriage should be forever, but it should be like that because they both desire, not because they can't divorce. And with arranged marriage, it's a once chance, one draw, no turning back. What are the odds of success in such a case?

Hey, dayback! First of all i have to say I'm very sorry about your friends. I really hope things work out properly for them if there is the slightest chance for that to happen! Thank you for sharing this with us.I must say i'm glad to find more and more people that want to take their lives into their own hands and not let others decide their futures Happy myloting!

I shall accept others opinions if it is good. I think my parents will not make any mistakes in my case. I think you well known about arranged marriages. bride and groom can express their own opinions during arranged marriage.

Hello, ajthlalkk! I respect your beliefs, but have you ever considered this attitude to be something like ..making peace with your own condition, knowing there is no other chance and that you HAVE to make this work? This is exactly what i was trying to discover with this discussion. Thank you for sharing your opinion and i wish you a happy marriage. Unfortunatelly I could never make peace with myself if i didn't make my own decisions. It's just a culture difference I guess :) Happy myloting!

Very well said, atv818. I liked the simple and objective way you spoke your mind. The thing that i was curious to know though is ...if people aren't actually doing their best when forced into something rather than when they act on their ow free will

Hello kukueye! Arranged dating...i didn't think about that. It's not exactly the same because practically people around you want to introduce you to others, not force you into anything. But i think it's an interesting way to meet people and to see what your family/friends think of you, by anallysing what they picked for you. Happy myloting!

Hello sweetlove! As you could see there are people around here commited in such a marriage and that aren't unhappy about it. You seem like a very independent person and of course you wouldn't like things to be forced upon you. But maybe, if you grew up in another environment, in which such marriages are a normal thing, you wouldn't so much against them. What do you think? All in all, i agree with you that love should be the reason people marry one another. Happy myloting!

I totally agree with you , davenhearst. Parents should accept the fact that we should take our own decisions and understand that what they see as priorities might not be what we want. Though sometimes, when we get to the same point in our lives as they, we might see they were right, it's ok cause it was our decision, our mistake and our lesson in life.

thanks for the comment Reyachan...in addition for that as years pass by our parents accept that sooner or later we will be independent in we are not a minor anymore that we will follow all the things they told us to do they have limitations also in entering in our lives and it does not mean we want them to go away for us, parents is still our parents and no one can change that they have a big part in our life... have a good day reyachan

It depends on how much the couple love each other. If the marriage happens on physical attraction, then it remains for sometimes and it wears out after you get kids. It fails because of blind love. You should not love a person by his looks or personality but you should love his/her nature. I feel that the reason for high divorce rate in love marriage is because of lack of understanding and compatibility.

You have a very good point krkavsy and i agree with you. But what you call love in the case you mentioned above, i call confusion . Very often people confuse love for physical attraction or passion. That is the actual mistake that leads to the fail of free marriage. The fact that people don't give themselves time to know that persom properly and go with the flow. Sadly though, many people aren't interested in other things than looks. I don't understand why people like this marry considering they very well knowbeauty doesn't last forever. I like the way you regard relationships very much, putting an accent on the heart and soul of a person and not the looks. My only real problem with arranged marriages is that you can't back off from them. You may think you know a person and find out you were wrong and she/he is not right for you. Why should it be a shame in tha fact 2 people can't meet the requirements to form a real family?? Sometimes it's not their fault a marriage fails, but it just proves that they were incompatible. Otherwise, it would mean that everyone could marry everyone and have the same chance of being happy , if only they try hard enough. And that is something I just can't accept mentally and emotionally...

Hey tymfactor! I'm glad you raised this question. Cause this is what i kept asking during this conversation myself. If the obligation of an arranged marriage doesn't actually become a ctalist for a better bond and marriage. And if actually people don't strive as much for a successful marriage when they know they can always find someone else. What do you think? Could this be a reason for the high divorce rate and unsuccess of many marriages?

Hello, dragonangel! I have to agree with you in certain points and say i liked the paralel you made. But you forgot one thing. Arranged marriages don't involve choice. At all. What you spoke of is choosing a marriage for material benefice or sentimental one. But this is not arranged...it's a chosen life. It's true that many arranged marriages are set by the parents to ensure a good life for their family in the future or prestige for themselves or success in their business but as it this, this has nothing to do with the ones getting married. They are simply forced to do it. Where is the choice in that?