Do We Ever Grow Out of It?

Unfortunately some people never grow out of gossiping. I used to think that once I was out of school I wouldn't have to deal with listening to people gossiping, but sadly people still do. When I was in my twenties, I still heard it, in my 30s same thing, and now that I am in my 40s it still isn't any different. I am very upfront with people. If I don't like something, I make it well known (in a polite way of course), but I don't believe in acting one way to a person to their face, and quite a different way behind their back. I never have trusted what people say at face value (which isn't a good thing all the time). I guess when I was younger I was so gullible, but that changed once I got out in the working world. My dad always taught me to be cautious which works well for me. However, ever now and again, I get taken advantage of I guess because I always try to help people out. I have always felt that as long as I try to lead a good life, and don't hurt people, or gossip about them, then that is all that matters.

I listen to gossip, I do not spread it. As for believing it, it depends on the person telling me and who said it. Yes sometimes it seems we are still in high school.

Yeah I'm the same as you. I'm only 21 but I've noticed that many grown ups and kids my age have not grown out of the phase and it's just a waste of time to tell you the truth. I do have people that come to me with gossip and stuff but what I do is that I see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil. I don't like to start problems with people unless they are starting problems with me and I don't gossip about people I don't know because I don't know them so I don't have a right. Certain things that have happened to me have taught that you can't really trust everyone that you know. Right now I don't even trust my own shadow. So to answer your question I don't think we leave it behind because there are always those people who never grow out of it and I think that's really sad.

Hi, dorannmwin. I am the same as you are. I don't like to surround myself with gossipers. Many people have came and told me bad things about certain people, and I don't believe them. If I have not seen it for my very own eyes, I could never believe them when they tell me the rumor. My mother-in-law can be devious when it comes to gossip. She used to tell me that her friend would ask her about why I was staying in her home. She would just come back and tell me what her friend said about me being in her home. So one day, she pissed me off and I let her have it! I told her to stop coming back, telling me, what someone has said about me. After I said this to her, I never heard one more gossip about what her friend has said about me. The way that I see it, if her friend had so much of a problem with me living in my mother-in-law's home, she should have told her that this was her home and she has the right to make the decision on who stays and who does not stay in her home. My mil should have never came back and told me what someone had to say about me. She should have taken up for me from the very beginning. She came back and gossiped to me because she agreed with her friend. She really did not want me living in her home. She just was not woman enough to tell me this herself. So using her friends criticism of me, was a way for her to get her secretive feelings out. It was the wrong way to go. I bet she saw that I stood up to her about her bringing me back garbage that someone else was telling her about me. I bet she won't try that shyt again!

You have a lot in this post to answer but to be frank I am very trusting and tend to believe what people say. and this is in business! I do not gossip and discourage it if my friends start to gossip. I may discuss a situation about a friend with another friend with the purpose of helping her though. It is just that I do not know why people would lie about something. They must have nothing to do and all day to do it in

Unfortunately some people never grow out of it, they are still gossip mongers until the end. Whew what did they get out of it? I bet you $1 that they have never been paid gossiping unless they work in the tv or radio station and gossip about the scandals of the stars lol! I do not trust everything people say to me until the truth comes out. I have had gossip about me like wildfire before but none of them was true. There was a silly gossip that I got pregnant now that was when I was in college. When there was no baby they said I had it aborted lol see how imaginative people can be. The ones who believe it well thought it was true especially that I went through surgery for raptured appendix and said the scar from the surgery is the evidence I have aborted the baby! hahahaha up until now I am unmarried and never had a baby at all.

When I was growing up in school, I remember my mom telling me that when I graduated, it would be all over. She said that people eventually grow up. She meant it, and I believed her. I could not wait to grow up. Nothing changed. People were still bitter and filled with hatred.

I think it depends on the person. I know people who are extremely over dramatic about everything. Sometimes it makes me crazy.. but I can't say I totally mind it. One of my good friends is so overdramatic about every tiny thing she can go off on a total tangent about the most mundane things! It gets annoying but at the same time it's somewhat entertaining. But then I knew someone else who was purposely trying to bring the drama into my life, and I had to get away from them. I like to watch the drama from a safe distance and not let it into my own life, lol. As far as rumours and talking about people... I do my fair share of it, but I'm picky about who I gossip to. I know that whoever I'm gossiping to won't go back and tell the person what I'm saying.

I don't really care what others say, if you are my friend I stand by you until after you've had your day in court. Then I'll ask you why you did it and if I can understand then you're still my friend.

I grew up with a mother who thrived on telling tales behind peoples backs. 99% of which were untrue, but when I was young I didn't know any better. I don't think she was happy unless she had a drama going and she was always the "innocent" one. She loved telling someone something juicy someone else supposedlhy said about them and then going to that other person and doing the same thing. This way she made two people mad at each other for no reason. She always told each person not to say she told it or she would know they did and do you know almost to the letter no one ever told that my mother was the one who instigated the whole thing????!!!! Finally, a few years ago my aunt(my mother's sister) and I talked and we let it all out to each other and discovered some really bad things my mother had said to try to make me and my aunt not like each other. This ahould probably be the topic of a whole other discussion. To make a long story short, I had a very hard time growing up and realizing that I could not be that way. I used to be a gossip. It can be titillating, especially to an insecure child or adult. But it is so wrong!!! I have had to go back and apologize to a lot of people. My conscience really bothered me until I did. My mother would get mad at me when I wouldn't gossip with her! Would you believe she is now 87 and in a nursing home and is still doing this? She has caused more havoc in our family than you would ever believe. Just recently she caused a big problem with my brother and me by telling him false things about me and my husband. Way too much to go into now. Suffice it to say it took a lot of straightening out. I have had to train myself to never talk behind someones back. It is destructive, extremely harmful and a sin in God's eyes. The type of person who does this is called a narcissist, in my mother's case a malignant narcissist. I found a blog online called 'Narcissists Suck" and it really opened my eyes and took away a lot of the guilt trip my mother had put me on my whole life. I love my mother because she is my mother but it would have been nice to have had one who taught me how very bad gossiping is. I hope I haven't distorted your discussion. This is just my terrible experience with it and your question brought this to my mind. God bless you - chickabee

I don't like or participate in gossip, but I will tell a person who is trying to pass dirt about a friend or acquaintance that I think we should go directly to the person and ask them what's going on. It's amazing how fast that shuts the gossip's trap and gets you off their 'friend' list.

Drama is so lame. But unfortunately, I have found that people never graduate from it . . . we're all just older and some people just can't live without their daily dose of drama. Sure I talk about friends and family, but not in a gossipy way. I analyze what people say about others, but because I know these people often mishear things or twist things around, I don't necessarily trust what they say. I like to think I'm the type of person who finds out first hand what's going on - I don't go by rumors and such.

I think the culture that I grew up in is really fond of gossips and spreading rumors. Or maybe it's the generation that I belong. So, even though it doesn't look anything like the 'cattiness' with girls, guys have their own ways of making gossips and making ill-statements to other people. I see that all the time even at work. The trick is how you let yourself rise above it. It's not easy. Specially if you get mired by one that involves you. Good luck to you!

HELLO "dorannmwin"! Can we talk? I currently am going through that very senario and wrote about it here under "GOSSIP" I think I called it. I have no idea why some pe6ple get off on it. What do think?

you know i dont know why so many people are like that. maybe these days they have nothing better to do. they should join here where no one knows of whom they speak and get it out of their system instead of discussing it with people its going to hurt. im dealing with a lot of childishness myself. every time my son gets a woman, shes selfish and thinks some things in the house like FOOD! would you believe should be kept only for her use! whats that about? you see what i mean?

Funny that I should be reading this today. I recently have been feeling very much like I have been transported back to my high school years (I have been out of high school a long time). I do not like to gossip about others, I find it can be very hurtful. People who are old enough that I would have thought would not resort to childish behavior somehow are behaving like children. It appears as if not everyone grows out of the need for drama. I have found if there is something bothering about someone I need to confront them (not in a mean way). I generally find that what was bothering me can be dealt with in a mature manner.

I hate that you would think as you get to a certain age this would not be the case. I like to be more upfront with people. If someone is upsetting me I just tell them straight out. I don't mince words but I also don't worry about giving someone a piece of my mind. I get really sick of the drama also.