Encourage not criticize

Yes, there is no doubt about it that the words we use to ourselves, in our mind and to others have a great effect. Encouragement is always the best way to go in my opinion, even if we are not sure that something will work, we cannot know it absolutely, but negative statements may stop another person continuing with his/her plans. There have been many successful people who were told they couldn't do what they actucally did, but went ahead anyway. I tend to support people with what they are doing, and if I am not sure, I will say this, but also that I cannot possibly know, only time will tell, and they need to find out for themselves. We all need to find out for ourselves. _Derek

You're right that there are times that people just judge someone without even knowing the person completely. Although, of course you can't blame them for judging them because of the person's actions because let's accept it, our actions reflects the kind of thinking that we do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type of person who judges someone because of what they do, I just understand those who do because it's human nature. Anyway, I also think it also rests to the person being judged how he/she will accept the criticism. He/she could let it bring him/her down or take it as a challenge and encouragement. Anyhow, I think that whatever the motive of the one who criticizes, we should always welcome it because we're being aware of how people perceive our actions as Winston Churchill said, “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." Although, we shouldn't get it to our nerves and just use them as a guide on how we could improve ourselves. I like this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You'll be criticized anyway."

If I am a real friend and if I know that it would be better to rebuke my friend even if it hurts him or her, then I will do it. I don't see anything negative on corrective criticism. What is worst is that when you know that he or she is really in the wrong side of the court and you are encouraging him/her. I don't give encouragement to people who are really wrong in the first place. It is much better for me to help them see reality and truth rather than to suffer the consequences.

I agree with you. Kind and encouraging words do help boost confidence and the spirit. Constant criticism tends to make one upset and unworthy.

Undeniably that's a good guiding principle. We should be a little sensitive that no one likes to receive any criticism as much as we don't either. Like you said an encouragement is always welcomed and should work in many circumstances.

Nothing will go wrong with a humane positive form of approach. Confident, kind, and educated people would always offer words of encouragement to people needing the push. Smart, bitter, and insecure ones gives nothing but criticisms. However, let us remember that there are some people who do not react very well to encouragement but would do better when criticized. Criticisms sometimes serve as challenge to them. It's kind of ironic though but this happens in some cases and goes with the saying... "A kite rises against... not with the wind"

positive words are easier to accept negative words.when you hear positive words,you get to be inspired to be better and do better.when you hear negative words,you will definitely feel negative emotions like denial or anger.when you want a person to do a good job,it is much better that you encourage him because it boosts his self-worth and confidence.as Audrey Hepburn puts it,"for a beautiful mouth,speak words of kindness".

I definitely think that it is far more important to positively reinforce someone than to criticize them when they are on the track of doing something right. The reason that I feel this way is because people are able to thrive on positive things that happen in their lives. By being positive we are able to grow as people. However when we are receiving negative criticism, I don't really think that we are as likely to grow.

Well said. I admire how broad is your heart regarding human behavior. Thanks it really boost my self-esteem. I am affected, I am one of those who tries to find why I'm always a failure.

Hello Marichris, Sometimes we are inclined to be judgemental of others (including myself), inclined to think that we are right and they are wrong when in real essence, all of us have our own concepts of things which may or may not be in accordance to what others perceive. Though we may sometimes think that others have failed in some aspects of their lives, we may not know exactly what happened that brought about his actions culminating to an end result of which we are inclined to think as failures. We may not see things the way others see it and I believe that things happen as a series of events that made us choose the path to take with every decisions we make. Unfortunately what others think is the best option, may not be the one we believe is right, that I figured out in the long run. But through all these, plain believing in someone and affirming him that he is capable of doing things the right way does make a big difference in the way he decides which road to take and for me this is the best encouragement anyone can receive. I would appreciate this kind of encouragement from friends even if it takes the form of a challenge. A challenge differ from a criticism in so far as a criticism sometimes bring out the worst of any person who may not be as open to it. A challenge would be a subtle way of giving a person a psychology of doing the things he needs to do with affirmation in his capacity as a person of thought. And you're right, it's easier to boost someone's confidence by giving encouragement of brighter prospects than criticize. Besides a positive or a negative criticism is still a criticism. Might as well do it as a challenge to make a person do what is the proper way to do things, that will ultimately bring us to win-win situations everytime and I believe in that. Happy weekend and may we all have the best in life. :)

you are absolutely correct.. All people want to criticize others... no one is not trying to study the issue.. first action is criticize.. then only they are thinking about the issue. It is not a good thing at all.. we have to encourage everyone rather than criticize them... we will only criticize,never try to study the things... this mentality is not good for the people and the nation too...

i think you're right most of the people were so judgmental..they just criticize you without even concerning about what you may feel..encouragement will give them more self confidence to and will make them feel better about themselves.

I totally agree with you on the part of encouragement, because by encouraging someone, you never will know and or understand what good you have done to any person you encourage by this, you have boost the persons inspiration effort to forge on. but if you criticize someone, mehn, you helping to demoralize and killing their zeal to put in an extra effort.

I completely agree, when I was at school I reacted far better to teachers whp praised rather than critiscised me! I was the same when I was learning to drive, encouragement is by far the best way.

If criticism is constructive it encourages the receiver. And I love constructive criticisms.

I agree that encouragement is better than criticism in many situations. However, if you overdo encouragement, you'll have some nasty side effects. The receiving end will not know his own flaws, making it hard for improvement. For me, I welcome constructive criticism.

I think it all depends on how you give some one criticism that counts.Since if you do it in a nice way it helps.I like telling some on that asks does their food taste good you could tell them it was a little too salty and would taste better with less salt instead of saying it was the worse soup I have ever ate.But some females get mad at you no matter what you say when it comes to their food. I tell people don't ask me how your food turned out if you do not want the truth.If your food turned out good and you ask I will me how your food turned out I will tell you but if you ask me how the food tastes and it turned out bad I am a going to tell you the true.

I think only encouragement is not enough. Sometimes we also need criticism to point out our mistakes. We need balance. Only encouragement will cause vanity while only criticism will cause frustration. Both of them are not good status to a person.

Positive approach is, of course, always the best when dealing with people needing encouragement from others. To make the long story short, let's take it this way.... Truly confident and educated people would always offer words of encouragement. Smart but insecure ones- most of the time- delivers criticism. However, there are some people who do not respond well to encouragement. Instead, it is harsh criticism that makes them feel challenge and thus they get to function well.

Hi! There are times when we need to critize a friend tho this may not be easy. It is never easy to say something which may not be acceptable to a friend especially if it is not called for. We need to be sensitive to the feelings of friends. But positive and constructive criticisms may help a friend. It is in the delivery of the criticism that we should be careful.