Would you be happy to be compared or pressured to be like someone?

No, i wouldn't. It's what I really hate so much-- to be compared or to be pressured to be someone. If someone say it to me like that I get so anger and I will lost my temper. I get hurt if was being compered and if someone say "You should be like her" or "She's better than you".

I would feel sad when compared to someone. I am very lucky, there's no comparing me with others. If there's anything to compare, I would be very sad. I would say, that this is me, not him, so do not force me into him. I'll do anything for the happiness of people around me. But do not force me to be someone else.

This discussion really reminded me of something I never wish to remember... My mother sometimes compare me and my friend when I was still in High School. She has an officemate and that officemate is my friend's father. My mom and her father talks about us sometimes and I think my mom gets envious because my friend has more accomplishments. I mean... she studies really hard and receive more awards than me. I study too, but not as hard as her. She sometimes compare me and her so I get hurt. It hurts being compared to someone especially to a close friend. I often ask myself, instead of comparing me and my friend, why don't she try encouraging me to study. Back then, I wanted to bring honor to my family and become an honor student so I studied so that my parents will be proud of me. I achieved that goal. I became an honor student and my parents were proud... but, they wanted me to achieve more. I was able to keep up being an honor student. But then, my mom started comparing me and my friend. Maybe she thinks I will study even harder if she compares me and someone else... so she did that. Well... she's wrong... ever since then, I started disliking to study. I often think.. even if I get a high score but not be able to get a higher score than my friend... then my mom would probably still compare me so what's the point...I'll still hear those words of comparison. Every time I study and remember her words... my mood towards studying...goes upside down. I realized that my mom just wants to boast to her officemate. I know there's no ill-intention of being proud of your children and that it will make them feel good to share it to their acquaintances/friends. But still... it hurts. But then again, I think it's a good thing. I learned to control my emotions. My friend and I share a good relationship. I told her about it and she said she was sorry. I don't think she needed to apologize. I know she's not that kind of person who wants her parents to brag things about her. I just hope that my mom will realize that what I need is something that will encourage me, not something that will discourage me. My grades were still the same.It neither went up nor went down. It almost stayed the same. But, my personality changed. I started to unconsciously give off an angry feeling towards my classmates.. which made them think I am angry at them but truthfully I am not. I posted a long response to this discussion so that mylotters(parents) out there will realize some things... Comparing your child to some other person's child isn't very good. Especially when you say it directly to your child and the person you are comparing to her is her close friend. Not only will te child feel terrible, their friendship might get ruined.

i dont want to be compared to be like someone else^^ sometimes i wish i was more pretty, more thin so i could use more cute clothes like some girls, sometimes i wish i had my hair different but we cant change who we are. also we must accept us for who we are. noone is better than us. we are all same. we all have good and bad things. sometimes we dont like something about us that other people like it^^ i never gave much value to my nose and many people said already i have a beautiful nose^^ so sometimes we just think too much about bad things we have and forget the good ones^^ also noone has the right to compare us with someone else. if we were all same then world would be boring. its much better that we all have different characteristics and im happy to be who i am even im not perfect ^^ i wouldnt feel ok if someone said you should be like her bcs sorry i am who i am and if you dont like it sorry but i cant change. this is the reality. also sometimes people say you are just like her in critic way. i dont like it either bcs sometimes we make the decision like someone else did but bcs different reasons. it doesnt mean we are like them. we are all different and thank god it is like that^^

I don't like to be compared, let alone pressured to be like someone else. Expecially if it's a person I don't particular like lol.

omg definitely not i would never be happy being compared to someone.it is soo insulting coz i upkold my uniqueness=) yes simple i agree with you as in totally....hmmmm....the biggest impact when im being compared to someone is that is super INSULTING=( if id be told if i would try to be like someone???? i would tell them directly that im not at all happy on whatever he/she is saying coz i have my own will i would do whatever i want whenever i want....=)

I don't get it like that, ie compared to a specific person, but I do get "why don't you just say that" or "why don't you just do it that way"? What people don't get is that trying to change somebody else NEVER works. You have to want to change yourself, or it's just not going to happen!

My parents used that expression on me all the time. It was their way of trying to make me conform. It didn't work. I've always been strong minded (pig headed is more like it) and I've pretty much followed my own path. We are all unique individuals with talents and weaknesses of our own. That's what makes us who we are and makes our world an interesting place to be. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all acted like great aunt Matilda or cousin Henry. No thank you. I may be a bit odd but I like me. Don't be afraid to dance to your own music dear, it's that kind of attitude that will get you through the rough times.

Unless that someone is worth learning something from. But surely I would not like to pressured to be so. I'd see for myself if it will actually benefit me or will end up just trying to do and not implement it in my system. So, think for yourself. Do not get pressurized!

of course, i would be pressured if i am compared to another and much worse, pressured to be like someone. i am a parent, and i really tried to avoid that. my children grew to be independent. when my daughter was young and during an occasion, one of her cousins was wearing a dress. i brought a nice jumper for her and a girl's pair of rubber shoes. she was affected and even without saying i know that she wanted a dress, too. i told her that she is her own self and need not be like other girls and told her that she is different and should stand out as herself, no need to imitate others for no two people are alike.

If i was being compared to someone, i could only be happy if that person was my mother. I would he happy to be compared to her. I would also be happy to be comapred to a legendary woman of history. That would be so ideal! I wouldn't be happy to be pressured into being like someone. I like my freedom to choose who i am. People can accept us for who we are or they can't.

No. Each of us have been created unique in a way. We all have our own personalities. If we try to imitate others, that's the moment we lose our individuality. Somehow, being compared to others is not actually a form of pressure. Instead, it is an insult, and it really irritates me. It's my life. I can do whatever I want.

Yes, I hate if someone compare me for my activities with someone..., they should really understand and tell us in the way how it goes into our head..not by comparing ,it happened manytimes in my schooldays.when my dad says so i use to get pissed off and say nothing and leave the plas..when are these parents gonna understand that comparing and getting work done wont fix for every body

I absolutely hate being told to act like someone else! When I was younger, my mother told me to get higher grades like him or her and to play the sports that he or she plays! It drives me insane! If you want me to act like him or her, why don't you adopt them if you want a child who acts the way you want them to. For goodness sake if we were all polite and all had high grades when we were young, the world would go mad

It's also a NO NO to me being compared with someone, I could not stand it when someone would do that to me. Indeed we are different, crafted and created uniquely with others. People who do like that are pretty much in secure for themselves, why on earth can they do that on their own and compare another to someone. So sick ! I hear some parents did that to their kids, I'm glad my parents didn't do that to me, neither I would do that to whoever. Its just so annoying hearing people doing that to others.

definitely not. my mother compared me with my sister. i always wanna be like her, being top and being famous. but then i realized that i just have to be me- my self.

Hey Simple we meet again :). This is a nice discussion I must admit! Well, no one likes to be compared or pressurized to be like someone. I brand this as criticism of someone. It mostly happens in the childhood days and some parents continue this approach throughout and this is really bad. As a child, it kills the development and growth of the kid and also develops and inferiority complex in the kid. That is really bad. But as we grow up and at this stage things like these happen, I believe one should use his brain and take the criticism as a positive criticism which would help to grow and have an identity.

Well I would of course feel sad to be compared to someone else who is better than me in other people's opinion but any pressure would never urge me to be like the person though. I have heard the same thing from my family members in the past but it did not move me and I carried on to be just as I am. And I'm really happy that I did because my life would have been different and less happier than today if I did what they wanted me to be. Now they never told me so anymore because I'm very independent already and I'm very seldom asking them for this and that like some of my siblings do. Thanks for sharing and have a nice day

I for one, do not like to be compared with other people esp. with their grand achievements. I am the architect of my own life and I will design it the way I want to. Yes, some people are fund of comparing someone with another one who is already an achiever. I think that attitude should be considered as RUDE. Why can't we just let other people be?

I remembered such scenario when during my younger days, my mom used to pressure me to be like my younger sister whose room was neat and orderly. No matter how tidy I kept my room but still it wouldn't pass my mom's standard. My sister was still better-off than I was. It felt very frustrating when what seemed to be best for me was not best to my mom. Good thing though, I never saw my sister as a competition or a threat to my existence and till now we're close with each other. To my mom, my younger sister is still the best when it comes to cleanliness and orderly in one's home; however, it doesn't matter to me now as we live our own separate happy lives. No hurt feelings either. People has to just accept me for what I am. I can't be at par with my sis on that aspect but I excel in other things too. :)