what a bad decision i made, i did not save him. for the second time.

Hiya kumar, No indeed don´t help him out he is running to your Door all the time. Let his Family get him out of this one. Why should you have to fish him out of hot water this time? He should be thinking that you have helped him when he most needed it and yet he turns back and knocks on your Door for the second time? Enough is enough at least it would be for me. If he cannot pay on time what he owes first time round then what is he going to be like the second time? I would not feel bad about it at all you cannot worry about everyone in the World and they cannot worry about others either. Each one of us has to find our own way in life like it or not. Being on his own this time he might learn and appreciate money better and realize what he has put others through. We have had lot´s of People that have never paid us back so I can put myself in your shoes a bit. Besides you have your Girlfriend to think of too and you will both need money for your House and so on just think of that. You be more generous to yourself and to your Girl that´s the way to be.

He didn't keep his word about paying you in the next payday. What if you needed that money? He should have explained to you in the next payday why he didn't pay and not take a long vacation. Yes he paid after 6 months but that's not the deal. Anyway if I'm in your shoes I'll probably lend him some money if I have the resources but I want him to give me a collateral or a guarantee that he will really pay. Its really a tough time today. I can help if I can but a deal is a deal.

Dear Kumar, you did the right thing so dont feel guilty for not helping your friend out. I commend you for having mustered the strength to deny him of financial assistance head on. Kindhearted people struggle with saying "no." If i were in your shoes and if i did have extra cash, i would most likely still lend him money but i shouldnt expect him to pay me back as i have a feeling that he must be in real financial crisis. If he is a close friend of yours, i would suggest that you help him solve his financial woes but not by lending him money. Advise him to look for a sideline job or anything that can help him save extra cash.

Shi3ek, My friend borrowed my car and he did not return on the said day that he will return back. He just parked his car that need overhauling infront of my apartment and he never care to come back quickly. I also need my car. I have another car but I want to use the one he borrowed. I don't care about money if he want to payback or not. If I also need money I have a lot of friends also that can help me. I am not thinking too much about money. I only love to earn money and use it. I want also to understand your situation and I can Imagine that you love your friend. I also love friends and I also feel pity if they have problems especially when no one from his family can help him. I like helping my friends and I love them too. I love sitting with them together always and share funny things.

as good as you are, i can emphatize with you for feeling a little guilty for not helping your friend. but you are not in the wrong for having denied help to him. if i were in your shoes, i would say the same thing as you. one time to be made a fool of is forgivable but to be fooled the second time is completely idiotic. I mean, you have already experienced firsthand the first time you helped him. If he had promised to pay you but was not able because he was really hard up he could have come to you and explained and not let another six months go by before he paid you and explained himself. you could probably understand his situation, but did he even stop to ponder about yours? would he have done the same thing for you if you were in his shoes. Would he have smiled at you if you were six months late in your payment to him? don't feel guilty for you did the right thing. it should be a lesson learned for him. he should learn to value friendship and not disregard it. its another thing if you will explain to your friend that you're hard up and cannot possibly pay off your debt immediately, its another thing if you promised to pay immediately and then you won't even call to explain why you were not able to pay. Yeah, he paid you but after six months and after he promised? nah! YOU did the right thing the second time. you have helped him. not in the financial matter though but you have helped him realize to value honesty and the word of honor thing.

I have heard this over and over for too many times and one thing I have learned is that when someone asks to borrow money. The first thing you have to keep in mind is that if this money you are loaning out is extra money you have to spare then keep in your mind that it will be gift as if the person does not pay you back then I am afraid you now lost out. So better to lose out on money we did not need then money we are dependent on for our own obligations. So when someone does not pay the money back the first thing you must say it is a hard lesson for me my friend but do not ever come back asking for more. Mixing money with friends and family is such a bad idea as it interfers with the future of the relationship becuase although the person who borrowed it maybe experiencing unforeseen problems and can have one hundres ona done excuses for not paying it back it leaves the loaner in a bad place and making it seem like the person who loaned the money evil and a bad friend. You can not regret for making your decision not to borrow the money as sometimes we as humans have to do what it takes to earn the next buck and for someone to continue to ask for money especially after your explanation is not a very good friend indeed. As people must know that times are very hard and not quite easy just to simply give many away and if if for a loan. I will give you a prime example my friend as I have been unemployed for the first time in my life and none of us from my past employer received our last paycheck or entitled to unemployment. So being without an income now for almost nine months and all my friends knowing my situation. None have even taken a second to call, text and or email to see how I am doing. Oddly enough yesterday I get an email from one of the supposed good friends with a plea if there is anyway I can donate towards a friend who is running a marathon for a good cause. Really!! Who many times has this best friend even called to check if I am okay. In fact that text did not even imply this. So moral of my story is how many more times we do help other each time they need.

hi kumar thats very kind of you to feel like that, yet I do not think I would have done any differently than you did the second time. the first time you expected him to repay in a timely way and he instead took six months. How did he know whether or not not getting this money might have put you in a really bad situation? he was working and should have saved enough to pay you when it was due. What does he expect? you are not a bank! In your shoes I think you did very well by him the first time and now he needs to find a way to stand on his own two feet.

I have helped people out in the past when they needed money,i have been used by people aswell for money.I think that there are alot of people that say that they will pay other people back on a certain date and either they are late paying back the money,or they twend not to pay it back at all.I will only lend one friend money as i know that she will always pay me back.

If I had helped someone and they had not kept their part of the deal by paying back when they said they would then I would not help them again, I dont have a lot of money saved so if someone owed me money then I would rely on them paying back when they said they would or I would have problems myself. Its not right that he didnt pay back, how does he know that you didnt need that money for bills or rent? You could have been really stuck for money and he didnt consider that even though you were doing him a big favour. You shouldnt feel guilty for not helping him again, to me your reasons sound very good explanations, not that you even need to give a reason. It may sound selfish of me to say this but sometimes you need to think of yourself, you helped once and was let down, you cant be the only person in his life who can help him, you sound like you have enough to deal with in your own life. Please dont feel bad.

I was once in that situation too. I lent some to a friend who promised to pay on a definite time but when the day came, i got nothing. It took her several months before paying it (worst, it was paid in a staggered basis). So when she asked again, i said i have none and in fact i was budget-tight too. But she understood and had been polite to me. After that, i felt guilty since i do have the money but i was worried she won't be able to pay on time and i'd be left stretching whatever penny i have. I guess, there's nothing wrong in saying no sometimes.