Have you ever really been in love?
By zionsphere
@zionsphere (673)
United States
September 4, 2010 5:13pm CST
How did you know it was love?
When I first knew I was in love, it was because I suddenly became aware that I cared more about him being happy, than about him being with me. I actually tried to fix him up with his crush! Unfortunately she didn't want him.
4 people like this
19 responses
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
6 Sep 10
@zionsphere, yup that's pretty much what I learned from all that. But it felt like I really loved him then though... but now, I don't know like I said. It was such a strong feeling and I never doubted it. But I don't think I was in love with myself then... he may have been an obsession for me.
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Hormones can be a really strong force, and can make you feel like you are in love. You just have to ask yourself.. can I love this person like I love myself for the rest of our lives? Will they do the same for me?
If you find yourself laying down everything while the other person gives you nothing, it's just infatuation. You MUST love yourself in order to be in love. Otherwise it is only one sided, and in order to really love it you need to consider letting them go to find someone that THEY love. It hurts... but then you can find someone that can love YOU.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
4 Sep 10
ohh you even tried to put him together with his crush? so sad :( im sure it hurt you a lot right? :( sorry that she didnt like him. is sad that he didnt fell for you after that. i mean when he saw she didnt like him back he could had start to look at you with other eyes bcs you were his friend and was helping him and always there for him ^^ sorry that this didnt happen :( but im sure you will find a great guy^^ or maybe you found it already ^^ anyway very sweet of you that you cared more for his happiness than for your own^^
@teamrose (1492)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Once I was in love and knew it because I was insanely jealous of other girls. I broke up friendship with my best friend at the time because I thought she was trying to take him from me. Of course, I later found out he was the rat and had made advances to all my friends.
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Actually, he did end up wanting me after that, but circumstances made it hard for us to be together (his best friend liked me too, and I didn't want to get between them.) and I ended up leaving him behind. But I will always remember him, and view him as the first boy I ever truly loved more than a crush.
Breaking up friendships for someone you love is always a mistake. It usually means that there will never be trust between you and the friend again. I know...I've been in that situation.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
5 Sep 10
ohhh thats sad that when your love was loving you his best friend loved you too. anyway i dont think you should had given up on him bcs wasnt your fault that you loved him and im sure his friend would understand that. i know your intention was good but for sure both ended hurt him and his friend and you too. also his friend could had fall in love for other girl later on. is not our fault if we love someone else and he would had to accept that. so sad that you sacrificed your own happiness for other one happiness. anyway i dont think that if he knew you loved his friend he was happy that you were not with his friend bcs you didnt want hurt his feelings. sad that it ended like that :( anyway im happy you still remember him ^^
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
I've been in that situation before. It's more the type of love that you feel for a member of your family. That is a very real love also.
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
I think so. I really truly believe that I have found the right person for me, and I am sure that this is really love this time. I think you'll know that it's love when you truly care about the person, his well being and his life rather than just him making you feel great and making you feel happy. Love is really more of giving to the other person and not just receiving love and care from other people. 
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
I agree. It has to be a two way street, or it just isn't really love.
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
5 Sep 10
That was just what I did with my first crush. I tried to fix him with a girl he loved, although it hurt but I cared for his happiness more. Just like your story, the girl did not want him. After I moved to another city, he realized he loved me and tried to contact me. Ironically, I had erased what I felt for him and I did not feel anything except just kindness. I told him that I had changed.
So, I guess that is not true love, either. So what is true love?
I guess, I had never experienced it, may never will. So, be it.
1 person likes this
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
I believe there can be true love between two people even if they don't end up together. What you experienced was true love with circumstances that kept you apart. You will eventually find the one you are meant to be with. :)
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
...i think my first experience about love is when i was in highschool...how did i know? it's just that i care for her as much as i care for myself and i want to protect her always, no matter what...then soon i found myself dating with her...yay! =\
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
Yes I've been there and you can recognized if you are in love if you always think of him from night and day and never to be out of his sight if you see him around. The happiness in your heart is not fade away as you always inspired. Your surrounding is colorful. ANd you are concern more about his needs and what is good always for him. Really happy your world around.
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Ahhh yes.. he's the first thing on your mind in the morning, and the last thing on your mind at night. Your world would stop spinning if he ever went away. And even the heartache he causes you is pleasant because it's caused by him. :) Love Love Love :)
@LIENROSE (910)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
they say that you cannot even say that one is really inlove, but I beleived I was long ago in love with my family, but personally I dated some, but it was schooling was in my head so I may say that I have no serious relation back then
Happy mylotting
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
You are going about it the right way. Once you have established what you want to be in life, and what you have to offer a woman, she will appear for you, and she will love the man you have become. Schooling is important. Stick with it. :)
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
oh yes, i have been in love zionsphere. i realized that i had really fallen hard for him when i can't stop thinking about him, and just the sight of him makes my heart beat faster and seems to me butterflies are flying everywhere in my stomach, lol. Most importantly though, i knew it was love when i was willing to do anything just to make him happy. Not "that anything", but more on the emotional side, i was willing to let him go if he feels he is not happy with me anymore. It would make me happy seeing him happy, even if someone else is making him happy. I know that was a foolish kind of love but that was how it happened and now as i looked back upon it, i reminisce it with fondness. We went our separate ways but he will always have a special place in my heart though. my first, real love.
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
I know that feeling all too well. The somersault that your stomach perform when he comes into view, or even when you hear his voice. So painful, but so pleasant. :)
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Fixing him up with a crush he had shows that you are a genuine person and did care about how felt before your own.
As for how did I know I was in love is when I can't wait to see him and begin to compromise how I feel about things just so he is happy. When my heart goes pitter patter and tingly just with the thought we would be together if even for a short time.
1 person likes this
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Ahhhh that's a beautiful feeling isn't it? Just be careful, and don't compromise everything. Sometimes it's best to stay true to who you are. After all...you're the one he fell in love with :)
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
yes... really, really, really been in love. although the first time I've been there my heart got broken. and it was until then that i told myself to never ever fall like that again.
and then my husband came and I became the stupid girl again. ^.^ luckly, he wasn't like the first one i fell in loved with... he was better. and so, I was really, really, really, really, really (ok you got it right?) in love again. eheheh! ^.^
1 person likes this
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
:) Yes I got it. I don't think you were a stupid girl at all. I think it takes strength, courage, and intelligence to let go of the past and open your heart up to someone new. So many people get burned once and then start burning innocent people in retaliation. Of course this only keeps it going, and makes new people start doing it. So kudos to you for letting yourself fall in love again!
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
hi there!! yes.., I have been in love and is still currently in love with the same person..=) I knew it was love because I stopped looking on anybody else but him..=)
He makes me happy and I want him to be happy too.., That's too bad with the guy you fell in love with.., His happiness is nowhere else..=(
1 person likes this
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
That guy recently got ahold of me. It's been around 17 years since I let him go. He lives several states away, is married and has a new baby boy. He seems very happy. :)
I know what you mean about seeing nobody but him...That's also a sure sign of love :)
@preppydezza (309)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
things are really like that! ;) even its sad and hurtful, we'll just have to accept the facts that we love that person and our love was reciprocated . . . ;) my advise to you is that, you should not live your life around him. you may love him but it does not mean that everything you do is for him alone. Be happy with your life and live a life that is full of happiness. . . ;)
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Oh I agree...reiterating my response to the comment above. ;)
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
5 Sep 10
Yes i was ever in love with someone.. i don't want to disclose her name here.. because i loved her deeply.. but when i proposed her.. she rejected my proposal.. so i was feel very hurt.. but now she is very far from me.. but i never forget her.. and still waiting for her..
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Take the time while you are waiting to find love for yourself. When she sees you can be happy with or without her, she may begin to think twice about your proposal.
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Yes, I can see it as a gain because I am truly beginning to find happiness with myself. I no longer fear being alone for too long. That is a truly liberating feeling.
@teresa_everich (36)
• United States
4 Sep 10
I have been and happy to say I currently am in love with a wonderful man.
I'm glad to meet someone who feels the same way about it that I do. I always felt that love, in any form...friendship, romantic or family oriented was about caring about another's happiness more then you're own.
It is different for everyone of course, depends on what kind of person you are. I can't really say how I knew at first but when I realized that i'd do anything to make sure he was safe and happy, even if it meant not being in his life, i knew it couldn't be anything else.
1 person likes this
@zionsphere (673)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Yup. That's exactly it. I hope that there is a place in heaven where all the people we have had to let go out of love will be, and that they will understand that we let go for that reason. And we can be in love each other there forever.
