Which comes first for you: Friends, Lover/Spouse, or Family?

I mentioned this earlier...for many, it depends on their experiences. Personally, I've had a ton of blessings when it comes to the family and friends I've received in life. I happen to be business partners with my dad, for example, who taught me the real estate business when I was just in high school. Some of my friends are simply not replaceable. Yet my husband still comes first. Not only has he been there for me through everything, but we understand each other to near completion...when family scratched their heads at me and friends became angry, he would be the only one to be there. I think that probably affects a lot of people's responses...who has been there? Lots of people can find their ways through life quite easily, yet we all sometimes just need someone to listen or lend a shoulder. I agree with you...it depends on the experiences of life. For those of us who've had mostly ups in a life full of people, myself being one of them, I guess it relies on the question of who was truly THERE the most.

I know that your husband and you must have an awesome relationship simply because of the respect you give him through so many of your myLot posts. You're a lot like me...no matter the subject, you always find a way to bring your husband into the mix, and I love that. It makes people know you two are inseparable and a pair rather than two separate people, and that is what makes a marriage! It is good to see posts from you again. I haven't been on myLot in awhile, so this is a welcome surprise!

Thanks for your response! I figured that for the people whose family has been helpful and encouraging, they may have a higher ranking than family that is basically not there. I've been helped out a lot by my close family as well, but only certain members. As a whole, my family is definitely second and a tie with friends. It just depends on the person. It's good to hear your family has been there for you. Count your blessings...so many people have no family or a sorry excuse for one.

I must say that your response struck me as not only thoughtful, but beautiful. At first I began reading it and thinking about how I hoped your wife realized how lucky she was to have found a thoughtful and loyal husband...then I realized you're not even married yet, but you already have a special place for this as-of-yet undetermined woman. What you spoke of is how marriages should be. Like I've said before in this thread, when you marry, you leave your ties with your family as well as your spouse cuts the connection with theirs, and you make your own. Obviously this doesn't mean to stop the verbal and emotional connections, but your spouse then becomes first because of the marriage. It's so sad to see so many married people going to family members and complaining about their spouses...that is putting blood family before your actual family and only endangers the marriage. Based on your post, you are on the right track to having a long and rewarding marriage. Continue to keep those values held high, and I hope you find a woman that appreciates those values as well as holds them herself. Your post was beautiful and refreshing.

I agree. For some people, they date for fun. I dated for marriage. I've always been the kind of person that views romance and especially marriage as special...therefore, I'm not going to waste time with people that are not marriageable material. Technically, my husband IS my family. I left my family and he left his to make our own, so here we are. It's so weird to try to distinguish parent-sibling-uncles-aunts-etc. family from the husband/wife and perhaps kids family. For some people that aren't married, I guess the difference is clear. It is so sad for many people nowadays...they have family who expect everything back from them even if they do not have the means. You are blessed to have such a caring family! They are people you cannot pick...so you basically have to cross your fingers and hope for a good batch of them!

I can see why you chose that order. Now to put a little bit of question into it, do you think the order of things will change if you marry your girlfriend (or marry at all) in the near future? Will that put her first or no effect?