does distance make the heart grows fonder or colder? which is which?

i know how you feel, im in a long distance relationship myself--its really hard--though you trust the person, its the environment around him that you don't trust the other day i was feeling like i wanted to be next to him..i wanna wash away my fears and insecurity..though i didn't tell him that..all i can do is to assure him that im loving him..i chose to be with him.. he sent me this mesage.. love.. its not about dates aniversaries expensive materials elegant bf/gf its not either about holding hands tight hugging torrid kissing body touching love making its just about how you value and respect someone without expecting things from them in return its about being unselfishly devoted and commited with that special person till the last beat of your heart God bless to both of you

Years of being together with someone should never be a basis of how strong a relationship is. It is a matter of knowing and understanding each other's chemistry. Everyday is a learning process for a couple and it will take years even until after marriage that you will continue learning from each other (as I have seen from my parents). It is but paranoia that leads us to have qualms. But, if you are confident enough to utter "I know you very well and I trust you", that is more than enough. I have been through a long distance relationship too for quite a long time and what we held onto are the words "someday we will finally be together". It is your willingness (of course with your partner) that will lead you to your happiness. Like what most of us say "if there's a will, there's a way". Personally, I do not believe that distance makes the heart go cold. It is how you treat the distance. If you treat it as a burden, then you might easily give up. But if you treat it as a challenge then you will be gaining a lot as with challenges, you continue to fight. Been there, done that. And now I am extremely happy having my fiancee with me. It is your choice and only you can decide of what your destiny will be but always remember that there is more than one way to fix things in life. :)

Hiya evemare, Once I had to be away from my Boyfriend for nearly three years and we had only just met. We wrote letters to each other and I phoned him about twice. There were not any phones where he was doing military Service. So we relied on Letters and faith in each other. I just knew that it would be okay in spite of the doubts assailing me every so often. It did work out and I am still with him. Takes courage to make it work so hang on in there. In the end the choice is up to you but I would give it a try and see how things go. Good luck.

I am in a long distance relationship and I tell you my heart grew fonder as the months passed that we are very far apart. It's really a matter of open communication and trust that the relationship will work. Never wait for the time to come that your relationship is already falling. Always find time to talk with your bf no matter how the gap of the time is.. 7 years in a relationship is already a very long way. Don't put such a relationship to waste. Good luck to both of you :)

I think the heart grows fonder if you work at it. I have been with the same guy for 5years and we have been living in different states for a lot of it but when we do get to see each other its amazing no matter how short of a time we had together. I hope everything works out for you.

hello evemare03! as it has always been said, love can be holding on or it can be letting go. if you think that going far away from your bf would benefit you career wise, and if he's supportive of your decision, then go for it. Actually, whether you'll grow apart or not, depends on both of you. genuine love will traverse oceans and mountains. if you really love each other and would want to be with each other for a lifetime, the distance could make your heart grows fonder, especially since you are not used to being far apart from each other. however, if you would neglect your relationship, considering the distance, it would definitely make your heart grow colder towards each other. as for him being tempted and cheat, well, even if you're near each other and he's like that, he would still do that you know. although chances will be greater with you gone from his side, it would still not be a basis for his gallivanting. anyway, if you're really meant to be, and if you are truly in love, somewhere down the road, you will meet again and be with each other again. the choice is in your hands, fonder or colder, which is which to be. that depends on what you really want in the future. good luck!

I am afraid of that though, it is true, but we can make a way to prevent that to happen... if we really value and love that person so we have to make a step to talk to him/her everyday, yes every single day, do not let him/her feel that you are away... make him/her feel that you are just beside him/her...

I would go for the latter. For me, it is true somehow that being in distance really makes the heart colder. There are so many reason. We're not sure of his capability to avoid temptations without you to inform him that he already committed to you, but temptations are everywhere. May be 7 years is already a good foundation of a relationship. Trust for sure has been established between both of you. You have trusted him but you could never trust people around and the circumstances. But you are right, if something happened, and if you really meant for each other, come what may, your paths will cross again. The question is, do you think you can bear the pain? Remember that it is always easy to said than done. This is just an opinion but the decision is still from you. You have to weight importance of career and relationship. Happy mylotting.

Hi dear, I like the words of Nisans, down. You are telling you have a strong relation of 7 years. Now for a better life, you are thinking of to live little away from him and you are having so much of scares and doubts. First of all, I think you don't have faith in yourself. I am correct? May not be. But if he also think like that, what would be the ending? Doubt each other. After living for 7 years also, you both cannot understand each other. Should I think that way? No. All relationships are a kind of confidence and faith. We have faith in God. Does it mean anything more? We trust Him. That is all. Everything is rest in His hands. Here also, you keep confidence in yourself. If he is such a person, he could have make any other relationships with anyone within this time period, just keeping away from you. But do you think he has done it when you were no around you? No. Make him also understand that you are taking a short break that is even for him also. Now you cannot get married. So, please make necessary arrangements for it, if you are going for a long period. But, if you have the faith in him, he will not change his mind. But, as it is a common practice in every youth, chances are also there. So, you make a feeling in him that you are around. Like, make calls, e-mails, sending cards, I mean a frequent contact and he should not feel your absence so badly. Also, give a hope that you will be back in 3-4 months time. He will be eager to know that when you will be back. However, I strongly believe that if you got a strong and bold relationship of 7 years is good enough to be with you only. But, if he turns to someone in your absence, he may be a different person altogether. All the best and good wishes. Regards, Thank-s

I think you and your boyfriend should watch the movie of going the distance by drew barrymore and Justin Long you might learn something from that movie that could help keep your relationship warm and burning no matter how long the distance is.

In most long distance relationship cases, the saying is really true. It's not to discourage you or to confuse you, but honestly, only few survive with that kind of settlement. Now since you choose your career over him, you have to be strong to accept whatever consequence you will have to face after that. And don't worry about the what if's on your mind, you will soon know the answer once you leave. On the other hand,don't prejudge your boyfriend as if he's too weak to handle a relationship like that. You wouldn't have reached your 7th year together if love and trust is not existing on both of you. So I believe, that if a relationship is built on love and trust, it will not stumble...it will not be destroyed. Good bless you my friend.