Can a couple have a successful relationship and not live together?

The guy I'm seeing lives with his parents so I cant go there. We keep things very quiet. I dont like people knowing my business. I can totally see myself having a relationship with him but dont intend to ever live with him. I have two kids and unless I know that the relationship will last for years and years then I dont want him ever meeting my kids. I dont want my kids getting attached and then suddenly the guys done when we split up. At least with my ex he still sees his kids but if I split up with anyone else that I didnt have kids with they wouldnt see my kids again and I dont want my kids having to go through that. I think as long as both parties can be faithful then it should be a problem at all.

I myself have not had that kind of relationship (except when I was still in school) but I have a room mate here who is not living with his fiance. She is living with her mom because she just had a baby. They have been together four years and they were together 24/7 up until now and they seem to be doing really good! Another friend of mine, had more of an online relationship for a few years with a guy. They both still care for each other, but she had a baby with another guy when they split, so they are not together. In my opinion, if you're not ready don't do it! You don't want to rush yourself, until you are absolutely sure you're ready. :D Good Luck!

Forget how it looks to others. Forget the question " why don't you get married already or leave him he will never marry you."B.S. It is very simple. Are you happy with him the way things are? If so , then Don't fix it . but if not

hi scorpiobabes, I think it could work out great with the right couple. I love living on my own and at this point, I think it would difficult for me to move in with someone or have them move in with me. I love the freedom part in it as well as having my own space. I would love the idea of having my boyfriend spend a night or two at my place or me at his. It would give us something to look forward to. I don't really get why your boyfriend would prefer staying in a hotel rather than at your place though. Is it because of your room mate? Could you join him at the hotel? What about his place? Are you able to stay there some nights?

Ya know, I am somewhat jealous of your situtation. Because I am such an independant person, I think I would actually prefer to have my own place, where I am not forced, nor expected to clean up after this spouse I have. When we first started dating, I was fresh out of an abusive relationship, and wanted NO PART of any new relationship. But, he wined and dined me, chased me, actually, which is what I like best, it seems. lol So, when he suggested, to save on costs, we should move in together, I was still reluctant, as I wanted my own space. I didn't want a spouse that I had to 'mother' because that is part of the reason I left my 2nd husband (married that one). I liked the 'mystery' that living apart kept intact, and the 'new' feeling when he arrived for a visit, too. I was being treated like I was 'special' and THAT was VERY important to me. But, when his only son, from his first marriage, was sent to Children's Aid by his mother, his Mom told him that if he didn't take the custody that was offered to him, she would disown him, I caved and moved in with him so he could take him. I still regret it to this day, because it was over 3 yrs of a tyrant living with us that was constantly in trouble with the school, the cops, the neighbours, etc. But I was determined to try and make it work. He went to a 'special' school for kids with 'behaviour problems' thus we thought he would grow out of it as he matured somewhat. He landed in our laps at 11 yrs of age. I had high hopes at the time, because I actually wanted a son, as well, so I optimistically opened my home and my heart to him and tried my best for all our sakes. All I got for my trouble, was my own 2 girls were neglected, because I was too busy chasing after him all the time, and cleaning up his messes. And he was so rebellious, that he was stealing from me/us all the time, but I couldn't prove it to my spouse, his father. Finally, I caught him red-handed sneaking into my office (private) and stealing some of my chocolates I had hidden in a secret container in a drawer. I told him to go to his room and wait until his father came home. He had the audacity to mouth off, saying, "That is no punishment, because I have my TV, VCR, and video games. So, I decided that he would lose his priviledge of having the video games and went to his room to unplug it, until such time as we (his father and I) had discussed any other appropriate punishment. While I was unscrewing the connections, so as not to damage anything, (my back was to the door), he came running in as fast as he could muster (he is 15 now) and shoved me as hard as he could into the wall. My head hit the windowframe and I was unconscious. He began to kick and beat me while I was unconscious (based on the marks I had later and as I came to I felt it). When he realized I was waking up, he put me in a wrestling head lock hold. His hand was over my lips, so I wiggled my lips until I could just about bite him, when he felt my teeth on his skin, he suddenly loosened his grip, just enough, that I was able to free myself. Now, we were separated by a few feet and on equal ground. I wanted to kick the living sh1t out of him like he duly deserved, BUT I knew he would have me charged for sure, so, I made the decision to phone the cops instead. It was the right one. He left in handcuffs, was charged with assault and out of our lives permanently.

Hmm, it depends if you are really committed to being in a long-term relationship with him. There will be no sweets without any sacrifice. You might be having your freedom now, but I believe that it is still every girl's dream to get married to her love one. Both of you I believe should be looking forward to staying together instead of not wanting to do so! I do believe that a couple can have a successful relationship and not live together. But, it really takes a lot of hard work maintaining it. Furthermore, if you are really looking at a long-term relationship, not staying together really defeats the purpose.

Personally I would be a little leary of dating someone you cannot come to their place and spend time with, and why is he not wanting you to come to the City? I would be a little suspicious and a little skeptical if it was me, and personally it might be time to move on. Sounds like he is not wanting a real committment with you, and does not want to be tied down, and might have someone else on the side. Personally I would think your Self Worth is better than this.

I was in a 14 year relationship where we had different households. We even have a child together. I also thought that one day we would be living together. I wasn't very worried about it for a while because I am very independant and enjoyed my solitude and ability to raise my children the way I wanted. Like you, we saw each other more at the beginning and less and less as the years went on. There were always reasons that we could not live together. He is looking after his sister and her child who are not independent people. I was not wanting the responsiblity of being a wife where I couldn't do what I wanted when I wanted. But the truth is that I always evenutally wanted someone I could share forever with. I wanted someone to wake up to in the mornings and kiss goodnight. There was always something missing in our relationship. So I told him we HAD to try to make it work. Within a year it was clear, that even though we loved each other very much and still do, we were never going to be able to make a living together relationship work. It was really never there to begin with and more importantly, we were so used to not living together that it was hard to change that. So I had to either be happy with a non living together relationship (which I have only once seen work) or move on and find someone where I didn't feel like I was giving up something I wanted. Well I finally desided that I could not live that way forever and I was wasting my time as well as his and the children. So I met someone else and I am much happier. I am now working toward goals that include him and our families. It is much more natural and comfortable in the one year we have been together, than the 14 years I spent with my last partner. I don't feel like I have to settle for a situation that I am missing out things that I will always want. I will always love my ex and I am happy for the time we had together, but I had to move on. I don't know about you guys, but I do know that the longer you have a relationship where you don't join together, the more unlikely you ever will be able to break that habit and be able to live together. You two either need to make the decision that this situation is all you need and be happy or work on making it what you do need or split and find that somewhere else. Good LUCK

This is actually a good thing in a lot of cases. You can enjoy your time together, and at the same time, you can have your own personal space to retreat to when you need to be alone for a few days. Some of us should be so lucky. The fact that you aren't married to each other or living together doesn't mean that you love each other any less. Marriage is over-rated, and it often causes more problems that it solves. The only issue I am having here is that he takes you to a hotel room. That is going to get expensive in the long run. Why not just go to his place? Does he have roommates as well? If so, then the hotel room may be a good thing...

This is interesting, and you seem to be in a predicament but only you can make this decision. I think long term relationships can last without living with the other person, but you have to realize that at some point or another, you two are going to come to the point where you all need to make the next step or just move on from each other. I mean, the whole point of relationships are to move towards a goal, whatever that goal may be for you two (marriage or something else). I guess the question is are you two comfortable with the situation you two have? By the look of it, it doesn't seem like you are satisfied because you wouldn't be torn about this, if so. Why doesn't he want to live with you? Is he not ready to take that step? You can't force someone to do something if they don't want to do it and if you aren't happy, then I think you know what you need to do. You can leave or just accept it for what it is; it's up to you. I honestly think you should talk to your boyfriend and see where his head is at. Only you two can make the right decision for each other and communication is one of the most important elements in a relationship for it to last. Express your feelings and see how he reacts to it. You can make your decision from there. I wish you the best!

Oh..I can see your dilemma. Since your discussion is a year old...that would make it 8 years now and perhaps your situation has changed. If not..the question is...are you happy? If you are..then it is fine and it doesn't matter how many other relationships have worked or not worked under the same circumstances. You have to think about what is best...if you want more than he is willing to give...yes..I would have to say..move on...but if you are content with the way things are..then I would have to say keep on keepin on. I don't think there is any right or wrong answer.

Maybe your partner has issues with making a more serious committment and is happy with the way things are. If you are not happy with your relationship situation then you do need to open up and discuss it with your partner. Maybe you could both come to an agreement on where to live, like somewhere inbetween where the both of you already live. Move to a new location to start your lives as a couple.

I don't,but my boyfriend and I are separating so far.He study in Australia and I'm in China for a year and a half.I feel lonely and we just talking in skype every night.I feel our relationship is getting insipid and I don't know how long we can keep.I'm suffering!

Depends on the understanding each couple by ... freedom! Are partners from the start, gain freedom, but it offers others appear to be contradictory ... asking, but offers only and not in others and assent discrepancy occurs ... and when you both know how happy pay, but also to receive from the other and vice versa! And yet something very important: the limits of this freedom! I think not exceed decency, loyalty, morality ... because I do not know if that would be called a couple in the true sense of the word, or only a surrogate, an illusion, a tacit understanding of coexistence in two ... Now, all we know what we want from a relationship and what we offer in that relationship, so we can only find the right person!

scorpio why is the reason he does not w ant to live with you? I mean this seems a tad fishy like he likes you on the string but also wants to be free in case he sees something he likes even more.To me it seems like theres really little relationship there and when he does not see you what the heck is he doing? Courting another woman perhaps? I would really wonder why he does not want to live together, is it because he already has another woman on the side perhaps?freedom in a relationship sounds like that is complete fr eedom with little real relationship.

Yes, of course. You can still have a successful healthy relationship even if you are not living in together as a couple. When my husband and I were just sweethearts, we did not live under the same roof but would often meet, eat together, and enjoy each other's company.But, even with that situation, we are happy and very much in love that every separation breaks our heart. We feel closer with each other and each day, we look forwards seeing the other at the end of the day.:) This closeness made us think and decide to live together after two yeas of getting steady.Unfortunately, things changed. There were things that we don't deem to agree and we started having arguments and fights.... Sometimes, I'd wish that we never get together because we felt more closer when we were physically apart than we are right now. We are so near and yet so far... So, it is doable as long as you keep on communicating and seeing each other. And, whatever you do, maintain an honest relationship. No hiding of truths from each other no matter how shameful that truth may be. This is the only way you can maintain that successful relationship.:)

....i think that is possible, but hardly possible...we should accept the fact that in having physical contact is one of the major factor that contributes in building a stronger foundation and making our relationship with our partner more firm....although there might be people who were successful in this setup, but mostly, it will failed...somehow, i think it depends upon each point of view and principle of the couples and their priorities...

Sometimes sacrifice is essential to our decisions for us to be in the right path of our journey. So do the right thing and enjoy life.

I think you have to balance the pros and cons of your relationship. And you're the only one who can do so! I, personaly wouldn't manage to stay in such a relationship for so long, but I think it's perfectly acceptable and have friends who think it's much easier this way. It seems to me that you are not happy with how things are going now or you wouldn't be posting this here even though you like the freedom you have with your kind of relationship