What do you do when someone screams at you?

@ggeeta (154)
India
September 12, 2010 11:37pm CST
Every day is not alike,sometimes differences might crop up between friends, family members, relatives and so on... leave about strangers, if they scream on us for no reason, we needn't tolerate them anyways. But what about close people say your dad or your mom? what do you do when they scream at you? Usually my mom sometimes screams at me, but that is for a reason. Earlier i never used to realize this and when ever there was some difference between her and me, i also used to scream very badly, as i used to lose my temper immediately. But later i used to feel some sort of guilt feeling for hurting my mom. I used to feel as if i hurt her she being elder to me, not giving her respect. Now a days what i do is just remain calm whenever there is a difference, she screams for sometimes, vents all her anger on me and feels satisfied, somehow by doing like this i also feel happy. what about you friends, what do you do when someone screams at you?
2 people like this
12 responses
bluemoonpavilion
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
13 Sep 10
It is good to hear that you have learnt to control your temper now, something we can all learn from you. When people scream at me, I would also try to defend myself calmly, but sometimes I also find myself losing patience and then my temper, especially with close ones because I felt that they should understand me and not be angry at me for the little things I do.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
13 Sep 10
Our family members do understand us bluemoon, but we must also understand one point that when any person is angry, he/she lose their temper, they can't listen to others nor do they understand others at that time. First such a situation must pass on, there must be an environment again where you can happily mingle with your family members, and only then you can be able to discuss about what you wanted to tell them in a way giving them examples and now not arguing anymore again. This is what i have learnt and you know what my family members are so happy these days as i am trying to change my behavior more towards positivity and considering their opinion first.
bluemoonpavilion
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
14 Sep 10
Maybe the first thing for both parties to remember is not to react with bad words or bring out past events. We should first keep calm or even walk away awhile to cool ourselves first before arguing our point. If both sides got emotional and react with anger, it is very hard to resolve the problem.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
yes bluemoon, past events spoil the present relations, we must always forget whatever has happened in the past. Never bring that or relate that to present. It worsens relations and is just waste of time and energy to do so.
hardworkinggurl
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
13 Sep 10
Nice to know that I am not the only one, and as you have I learned this is not productive more me who always lost my temper back. So I have also felt the guilt as this is the time we quickly respond with words that perhaps taunt me more than the person I said them too. Goes to show that it is never to late to learn in life.
hardworkinggurl
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
14 Sep 10
Absolutely I always see it as not wanting to stoop to the same level.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
Yes, it is always good to learn these things in life. It is good and productive to be calm rather then to act the same way like others.
dbeast
@dbeast (1495)
• India
13 Sep 10
We all get screamed at for a number of reasons and the way it take it depends on our perspective.If I know I am right and I am screamed at for no reason at all I will either ignore the persons comments and ask them to take care of their own business or I would scream back.If I am wrong I will definitely stay quiet and accept my mistake.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
even if it is our mistake people must give us a chance to explain that to them. instead if people just scream we can't really do anything. especially we can't say anything to close people like our mother or father.
sender621
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
13 Sep 10
Screaming at someone really doesn't solve any issues. It just brings more anger into the situation. If someone starts screaming atme, i like to get away from them. I would probably just turn my back and walk away.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
True sender621, it just adds oil to fire. there is no use screaming back at the one who has already lost his temper. instead it is always better to wait for the right opportunity to explain them what exactly is mistaken.
sidwilson
@sidwilson (38)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
my mom has a really soft voice so when she screams it doesn't sound like a scream at all. even if it does i guess it's ok, she's my mom anyway. what i don't appreciate is other people yelling at me. i'm not used to anyone screaming at me at home so i guess being yelled at by another person not even close to me would be upsetting.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
My mom has got such a sharp voice that if she shouts at me, my heart starts beating very fast. I get so scared when she screams at me wilson.
abhinav7175
@abhinav7175 (126)
• India
13 Sep 10
ya i rily scream back wen any stranger screams at me... and tokin abt my family...mom and dad .. my dad is so calm.. that he has never evn slapped me .. well half of the credit goes to me also .. ive never givn him a chance evn to feel like hittin me..lol.... and mom.. she loses her temper very fast.. evn she has high b.p..so she keeps on shouting at me and dad.. wen she gets irritated.. nad wat we do..... hehhe we jst b calm..and keep on doin our work....wen she calms down ..she herself comes nad talks normally...
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
Though everything is the same for me also, it is the reverse case in my family. My mom screams at us,and whether we do a mistake or not, we have to calm her down again, she will herself not talk to us again. anyways, all this is so much fun and i feel very happy to see my mom change her facial expressions while she is angry on us.
yogeshdhusa
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
13 Sep 10
hi! ggeeta I simply keep my cool and tell him we might not talk to each other again again then the other person has a choice to control his anger And he changes for good
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
HI yogeshdhusa, how can you stop talking with your close family members? say, your mother, your father, you can't just stay away from them for long. and at the same time can't scream at them.
deriellevc73
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
Hello ggeeta! I grew up not being used to screams from my parents and other family members. i believe in talking things out peacefully, screaming would only add to the issue at hand and to the conflict. However, i had my shares of screaming too. I was screamed at by a family member and all i did was look at her and told her,"i'm not deaf, you don't have to scream at me, i can hear you clearly" in a quiet tone and she became calmer too. Even now, when someone starts to scream at me, i cut them off by saying exactly that and they immediately realized their fault. i am a peace loving individual and i do so hate screaming and all that noise. i can argue for hours, with force but not scream at anyone. I only scream when i get surprise or scared, lol. and i told a family member and a friend that if someone will scream at me again, i will punch their noses right away. Well, they haven't scream at me, yet.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
That is so nice to know deriellevc73, I think I need to implement the same in my life too, I also don't like someone screaming or can't bear noise.
davenhearst
@davenhearst (327)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
were on the same situation ggeeta I had experience that I scream my mother because of temper and argument especially when I think I done nothing wrong. But I realized later that it is wrong they are still my parents and need respect. We can talk things in a way of good conversations with them
mcorazon
@mcorazon (22)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
It depends on why someone did that to me. If it's for fun, I'll scream back. Otherwise I get serious.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
so corazon, what do you do when you get serious? do you scream back again or are you just silent?
jinghan
@jinghan (133)
• China
13 Sep 10
sometimes, this situation can drive me crazy,then screams back. but it is not a good way to deal with argument.
ggeeta
@ggeeta (154)
• India
14 Sep 10
You know what, many times when a person is angry, he/she will not listen to what the other person is saying. It is very tough to convince them. They must come to their normal situation soon and only then can we explain to them whatever we can.
jinghan
@jinghan (133)
• China
13 Sep 10
it should be saparated to several conditions. if it is for a certain reason,i will help the person be cool,then ask him for the reason, but if it is unreasonable troublesome,i will leave him alone.