Cannot afford to support financially but dong something that helps
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40193)
Canada
September 20, 2010 6:13pm CST
I am more of a head person then a fixer upper, but for the last couple of weeks, my friend and I have been crushing cans. This is to help a charity that needs it, but that is not the reason. Before my husband got worse and needed someone to be with him all the time, I used to collect cans when I went for a walk so that I could get things for the school as I could not afford to do it financially and to help the society,
Well to tell you the truth, I do not crush cans because I want to help . I just want to get rid of my frustrations.
And it is not as if I do not need the money as it is assumed by those who feel that once you are a widow you have all this money coming in and nothing to do with my time.
I also cleaned bricks to see if I could do it. Did not like it, almost hurt my hands, but the reason I did it was because those bricks were to build the new church = well not new, since we moved into another building and had to make it more church like.
So I was wondering whether when people volunteer it is not for the selflessness, but for another motive? That maybe doing something has a two fold purpose, helping out, and the other purpose.
3 people like this
13 responses
@ElicBxn (63608)
• United States
21 Sep 10
well, I don't know where people get the idea that widows have more money, generally speaking, they have a reduction in SSI...
I can relate to crushing cans to vent frustrations, done it a few times myself in the past.
and doing things that help, even if you don't have $$ is a way to give support
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I do. Does not bother me, but those who think the world or rather America and Canada owe them a living does.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I really prefer that we put the cans on the road and let the cars run over them. it would be so much easier and then we can get those cans to the recycling place and get the money. They were thinking of getting a can crushing machine, but the handles are rather heavy and we are all not that strong. The other thing I could be doing is unscrewing computers and stuff like that, but I have to pend much of my time looking for the right screwdriver.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
22 Sep 10
I should ring along my multi screwdriver. The one he has there is separate screw drivers for each screw. But I have one of those multi types where I just take out one from the back and push it throw. I do not know if I got it from Home Hardware or Roma. The can crusher they have is a heavy duty one so your granddaughter could not use it. It does quite a bit at a time, and you need two people to operate it.
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I beleive people help out because its the right thing to do.I think everyone at some point in their lives have asked for help, and helping others is a good feeling.That would be one way to vent frustrations that you have and be doing something good all at the same time.I wish you luck my friend and How have you been doing? Have a wonderful day.1 person likes this
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
24 Sep 10
It would be better to do it out of love and not duty.I feel it is so nice to be able to help someone or a charity when I am able,it gives me a good feeling inside and I know I am doing the right thing.Good luck on losing your weight I know I am trying to lose a few unwanted pounds myself.I hope that you have a wonderful day.1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Sep 10
There is one charity that I would love to donate money to but because of financial circumstances I cannot do it. I also love to cook and I feel that if I do something I love to help others it is a benefit. So possibly when the Fall Supper, I will make something and bring it along. (Now if only I could afford a large crock pot and was strong enough to lug it along since I do not drive.)
My weight losing seems to be a disaster. I get depressed and when I am depressed I eat. 
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I know it is the right thing to do, but would it be better to do it out of love and not duty? Then if by doing something, you are benefiting yourself it is an extra bonus. For instance, suppose you like to talk to people, then you would love to serve at a charity supper whereas as someone who is more physical would rather crush cans or build things. Now I love to cook and I have to lose weight, so if our church wanted some squares then the benefit would be, they get the squares to sell to help a charity, I get all those brownies out the house and away from temptation.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
22 Sep 10
I heard that if you volunteer it's good for resume
I never try it so I don't know how it would be good for resume
maybe if you volunteer in the same field you are trying to look for a job in
then it would make sense, otherwise I don't know how volunteer would help
when it comes to charity and donation, I don't volunteer
I only donate, most of the time it's things, not money
I don't donate to people calling or knocking on my door
we just collect the things for donation and take them to donation place
I donated money a couple of times in the past, but now I'd rather pay debts with it
someone called me asking if I have time to go door to door asking donation
I said I am busy and she asked whether I am busy in other months LOL
as if I am her employee or something
I never ask for donation and I never beg for it either even when we had no money
so why would I go door to door collecting donation for?
if people want to donate, they will donate, what's the point of bugging them in their homes?
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Sep 10
I volunteered once because they told me that would help me adopt. I had had a child out of wedlock and gave her up at birth( not with my husband but my boyfriend and that was ten years or so before I married) and at the time we applied the general concensus at the time was if you give up your child it was because you really did not love children, so I had to prove that I really loved children by volunteering.
Well then they say no children are available (yet they allow children from other countries to come in0) so I stopped volunteering, we moved out of the Province and adopted in another province we stayed in and have never volunteered to get something.
Or to exchange for something. That does not work.
I help out because I want to help the Care Society, it is in the city, and I know where the money from selling the cans go. I also do not want people getting cut on their feet from cans on the street. (I'm a poet and don't know it. )
And that besides the exercise is a good reason.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 10
I had this whole discussion about why people help other people. To me, it's because they need the help. If it makes me feel good also, that's a nice side benefit, but it's not the main reason for doing it. Hopefully volunteering would be the same thing, you do it because you're helping somebody, and if you get the benefit of feeling good, or some other benefit, more power to you.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Sep 10
I know they need help. Only there are some people who if you help, they are like leeches and want more and more without helping themselves. When we were young, there was Care and I liked it as it said, Give a man a fish and then continued to conclude that one had to give the man a way to have him fish for his family and that meant he could now fish, sell the fish, buy a boat, eventually get a fleet of boats along with the other villagers. And thus instead of depending on others, he could sell to them.
I like the idea of helping the Care society as they make it easier for those who are older and not as physically or mentally well.
Unfortunately because of financial restraints, I will be unable to do as much as I would like.
1 person likes this
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I think a lot of times when we volunteer it is for the two reasons. The one is of course to help someone out. That's good, but sometimes we do it to feel better about ourselves. I am not sure if that qualifies for being selfish or not though!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
It is not being selfish. It is doing something and keeping oneself from getting bored. And if you help someone, well that makes it easier for that person to do something that he wanted to do and could not. So I love to pick up cans and also go for a walk and there is someone who hates bending down and if he does, he might get a backache. So by picking up those cans, and crushing them, he can mow his lawn or fix up his house.
@GardenGerty (160721)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I think you could well be right, that many times things we do serve more than one purpose. That does not make it any less of a good deed. Even if you do not plan for it to have another purpose, it often does. You said nothing about recycling and helping the environment, but in both of those cases you told us about, you were also doing that. You are a practical person--if the cans will help someone, you will pick them up and crush them. The world needs some people with practical approaches.
1 person likes this
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
21 Sep 10
Sometimes helping others is a good way to get exercise as well as make a difference.
I used to help my aunt and grandmother with stuff for a craft fair every summer when I was 10-13 years old to have something to do and avoid being bored silly. Also, at the end of the craft fair they had a dinner and gave me a little gift for helping. So, selfish reason to help.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I was debating delivering fliers for the church supper that comes up around our thanksgiving, but decided against it. I will probably bake something and bring it over. The reason is that I need the exercise. I will walk of course, but then I have to stop at each house and put the fliers in the mailbox. And I have to walk steady for a while without stopping to get the exercise. So really I am thinking of my health. At least in crushing the cans, my legs got a work out.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I actually volunteer because I like to. The various "jobs" my neighbors give me, they know I will do it without pay and yet they always do something for me even though in the beginning I tried to turn them down, I know better than to argue now..
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Sep 10
I am a kind person but mostly I give my financial help that a thing that will burden or make myself hard. I have lots of things to do so I cannot volunteer my time to any person except if it is highly needed. Most of the time I handover a things that I felt it will not myself hard like what you did crushing cans or cleaning a bricks. I can do that in myself.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I am not the sacrificial type. I do not think "well those people in Haiti need help or our care home needs help and I cannot do that much." So when I volunteer it is other motives, or giving money away or buying a cookbook. i will do it for the practical reasons, such as I collect cookbooks, and if the money goes away to this Care home or to the school, that is good with me. As for the crushing cans, I would rather have our Care home get the money then the city. And it does let out my frustrations stomping on those cans.
I do not have that much time either. And I need the money so I just volunteer for a couple of hours a week. And those couple of hours I am getting exercise as well.
But most of the cans have been crushed and it is getting cold.
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
21 Sep 10
That's good and kind of you. At least you did something beneficial that will help others in need. People vent frustrations by going to the disco or doing other redundant things but you did it the beneficial way. That's good. Kudos to you!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I was down at the school, dropping off the pop cans that of course I crushed already and looked in the bin, and it was fill of uncrushed cans. At least it|will keep me busy while waiting for my laundry to dry next Monday.And keep me from going to the Mall and spending more money.
@chona0912 (103)
•
21 Sep 10
i like you helping out , supporting others , volunteering .but it seems your help does not come from the heart. I know a lot of people who volunteers , and i envy those people because of selfless love. maybe there are also people like you said helping out for other reason , i hope they are few.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I feel that if you just do thing from being selfless, then there is a tendency for people to think that you can just give and give. So if you come from a poor country, you may want people of rich countries to give to you so you accuse those who have other motives as being selfless since selfless means that we will give more until we have less.
We also have to support our families and ourselves and is it not better to volunteer doing something one loves, rather then just give and give until there is nothing left?
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 10
It is not just that. It is that some people think that the world owes them a living, and they will refuse to do anything for themselves and there are some on the other hand who feel that they have to give to these people and feel rather guilty if they cannot. But if you feel by giving that you are helping that other person, lets say, start to make things to sell, then that is a good feeling.
