Which comes first pleasing other people or pleasing yourself first?

hi fantasticbabe, Well that as long s you feel the need to please yourself since you lack in some other areas in your life you need to fill first the emptiness rather than satisfying other who you think never need your attention or affection. Pleasing yourself is better as you could appear pleasing to other without acting. thanks.

Hi Hatley, I am just busy with other things but when i feel the urge to post or reply to other discussion i would log in. Nice to see you here. by the way I like your attitude you seem to live to please other people though bu doing it you feel happy and that is very important. As you are not force to appear pleasing when in side you just feel being pressure. It would surely comes out in the aura if you really show your real emotion in a nice way. thanks for replying.

Well, I am in between most of the times when i agree to appear pleasing I am not glad to do it while if I disagree I feel happy such as lot of contradiction.But most of the times when I like to approach other people when I like to show them that I care or have concern with them they would praise my attitude. Sometimes I would disagree so i appear unpleasant so to make it really honest. it is so hard to please two master at the same time self and other people. So if one have the tendency to socialize, receive lot of praising and less criticism so it like their is a need to appear as wholesome most of the times. because if one is so expressive it come to the point it is misinterpreted so to be on the safe side it is best to please or be pleasant to anyone than create havoc to other people lives that is the way to socialize the real feeling set in private since if one is vocal they are always been criticize. Though in other cases if you feel being pressure it is good to to e honest to other people at least they really know the real reasons and the real person behind the facade of different personality. thanks.

Good point lolo... Humanity is inherently good. The joy of pleasing others makes us young. :)

hi marcus, yeah, everyone is not perfect so don;t bother to please all people all the times since they are imperfect too. Just to avoid worrying about them when they use to appreciate or criticize you or other whom they find fault. The joy is receive when one feel is not pressure to share to interact with other who truly needs your attention. While some could thanks you while some just let it pass. So it gonna be their fault though you could help other voluntarily whether they reciprocate you back or not the importance you are able to lighten the burden of other people. Out of the result you feel happy. thanks for your lovely response.

Joy - not happiness (there's a difference) comes from putting others before ourselves. When the other person is touched in some way by our words or deeds and to see the expression on their face or the thankfulness in their voice - it comes back to us as making a difference in their lives and we get joy from that.

hi paula, Whew that a good term a disease to please in my own realization i have little time to do it. Not because i am totally self absorb but just lack you i need to fulfill or fill in some of my lack before i could do another move to help other as i need to motivate myself first to other areas of my life which needs improvement. in your case you already done it and so with actualization then you please yourself in the process but sooner you realize need to put more effort to enhance your own needs since other have fail to make contribution or neglect you in other things. When other could not help or do something to benefit you then end as disappointed with lack of response reaction from other whom you expect to return back your affection but fail to do so. And pleasing the family should be the priority before other when everything set to the right place if their excess time you could please other when you are nt so busy, thanks for your lovely response.

hi princejhaizee, Well when it comes to spiritual matter it should be the priority. But a human who have need we need to satisfy and do what is lacking if you find more pleasure to be of service to God then you have the freedom to fulfill your vocation. if your calling is to please men before your self you could do so and have your own free will That is God gift to human the ability to have the power of reasoning and freewill to choose whom you like. thanks.

Hi lakota, Well, you are just like my Mom having attitude like that and being a caring mother does not stop even the children already grow old or getting married. The care, concern and love is not lose it just getting more closer especially when it is extend even to the grandchildren and with their spouses. Thanks for the nice reply.

hi antiquelady, Well most of the times the you youngster have the habit of bullying the elderly or the one who are older at them just to make fun of them or to bug them until they give up to what the younger wants. Most of the time it also depend on the personality f the person as very easy or hard to dealt with. So eventually the one who feel stronger have the final decision. So the result would eventually pleasing to self though most of the times other have the tendency to appear pleasing most of the time or to please other people just to avoid being tagged as unfriendly. thanks for your lovely response.

Hi andrew, I think it is important especially to love self first before other especially when other have the tendency to neglect you. In other way they have very busy to tending their own family or friends while you just starting to carve for your own way to stand out among the rest toward your hardship and long time struggle to be independent. I think it is not selfish since you only have to focus more to improve or just equivalent of helping self since no one would bother to notice to help you unless you know to fight or to dealt with your slackness somehow in other areas that you need to concentrate more. Sometimes people live to please other or may be pressure since if you appear to be displeasing to other they may tag you as the snob or the bad ones, unfriendly or other sort of rumor just to tarnish one reputation. But since you already realize your self is more vital and thus have to be focus on your needs and happiness since other have less contribution when you could do it alone as long as you feel happy then their is no guilty feelings about that concept. thanks.

hi jugsjugs, It only mean you are more others centered in the past and not self absorbed just like other people who only have their own world to care for and hence they tend to neglect their affair with other people. But now you have your own health problem it is time for the people whom you care in the past or at present times to care for you that you truly needs their tender warm affection and care. I wish you could recover from your health problem and your loved ones would understand you truly in return they would help you the way you help them before. thanks.

hi meapas, It is a good feeling I know receiving other appreciation after you satisfy their needs or extend a hand to help your friends, family or loved ones when they really need a lot of attention. Good thing to know that you are not selfish unlike other who just help as long as they see the other person gives a favor. thanks for replying.

hi flower21, I d the same things since it is very hard for me to pretend unless i really like to do something or to please other people whom i find very pleasing or nice. if they are not nice to me I do the same thing or most of the time ignore them if they see me as invisible or nothing so their is no way to waste time for something you are not being appreciated. thanks

hi janeajozelle, Well other say the same things that they could do more if inside they feel happy so they could help truly not feeling being pressure. Since it really show most of the times in the aura of the face the joy of helping when you feel happy without being force. thanks.

hi babyrose, In the procee that after you please other people you have benefit or receive a favor. In other way you could please them even not expecting a favor in return as helping genuine is what you need to feel joy within your self. Though it is good to please self as you help yourself in the process especially when other seem to neglect you have to do it your own way. thanks.