Are You Good At Keeping Secrets?
By jujunme
@jujunme (2501)
United States
October 8, 2010 7:18pm CST
Every now and then people will confide in us , (especially friends and or family) and expect us to keep what they have told us a secret.Are you good at doing this? Does it depend on what the secret is? or the person who confided in you? or, will you under all circumstances keep this to yourself? I do realize that sometimes it's very difficult to keep a secret, especially if you think you may be helping someone if the secret is about them. but, i also believe,it's very important to gain and keep the trust of the person who confides in you and believes you can be trusted.But as a "whole",do you usually keep a personal secret to yourself or do you find it just to difficult.?
2 people like this
21 responses
@Caitlin2009 (48)
• United States
9 Oct 10
yeah i am, i still have secrets from people i dont even like anymore
@cinjhoxmyltc (334)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes, I'm good at keeping secrets. Secret is keep with a friend's trust and I think it also depends on what this secret about. Some secrets can be shared to others unless it will not cause trouble to your relationship. But if the secret is really serious, I think you must keep it.
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I tell my friends not to tell me anything that's a secret because I have a hard time remembering what I can share with others and what I can't. There are some things that belong to the other person and they should be the only one who gets to share it with others.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
i will "always" ask the person if they're sure they want to share their secret with me. Not because i can't be trusted to keep it, it's mainly because , sometimes people who confide in you may be in a certain state of mind and are liable to just blurt out whatever it is they were trying to keep to themselves for so long.but, if i'm sure this person needs to confide in me, i will for sure keep the secret to myself. Thank you for your response.
@mareeh (266)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
I can say that I am. I really see to it that I don't blurt it out to anyone else especially if the person told me to not really tell. It's not that hard to keep a secret especially if you know that it will be for the best knowing that your friends trusts you.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
All i have to hear from a friend or family member is, "please don't tell anybody" then they can be sure the secret stays with me alone. Like so many have mentioned here already, if someone trusts you enough to be able to confide in you owe it to this person to keep the secret to yourself. and no, it isn't that hard to do,the only time it may be difficult is when it may involve another person or people who would benefit from knowing whatever was kept from. them in a case like this, i would rather not be told about this at all. Thank you for your response.
@wealthymouli (710)
• India
9 Oct 10
Well, in this regard, I am a person who never share MY OWN SECRET(S) to others. Also, Many of my friends, share their secret matters to me because they knew, anything that goes into my ears, will never be out through my mouth. They want to get relieved, or feel kind of proud, in saying their secrets to me. But to MAKE THEIR FAITH AND TRUST ALIVE, i never disclose these matters to any one.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I think it's very important to really know a person you might want to confide in i also rarely confide in anyone unless they're very close to me personally, not because i don't trust anyone, it's just a matter of being selective in who i "know" absolutely will respect my wishes.You also make a very good point when you say a person wants to get "relieved" by letting go of a particular secret to someone they can trust.it shows we are really helping that person with that burden.Thank you for your response.
@paige4evr (118)
• Estonia
9 Oct 10
Yes. I'm very good at it. Though sometimes it's natural to want to tell other people as well, it's just human nature to gossip about others. But I respect the people that trust me so much to tell me these things. And I would never betray their trust, unless it is something that is illegal and harms other people as well. Because that wouldn't be moral. But otherwise I can be trusted 100%.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
"But i respect the people that trust me so much to tell me these things" That's the whole point, obviously whoever is confiding in you already knows or realizes you can be trusted to keep the secret to yourself. Just the fact that it is a "secret" tells you that no one, or very few people could be trusted enough to learn what it was.in any relationship trust is one of the most important things to have.Thank you for your response.
@CarlHalling (3617)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 10
On the whole I think I'm good at keeping confidences. At least, I hope so. That person has entrusted you with information which could make them vulnerable. It is a mark of good character to be able to keep secrets...to keep one's counsel to oneself. A good friend will do this. People who do this with me...who keep my confidences, ensure my deep gratitude and loyalty. I love that they so.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
it's nice to know that the majority of the responses i've received here understand the importance of trust in any relationship.and as you mentioned, it works both ways. There is nothing better than knowing you can trust someone with your feelings, secrets, property, etc..and the fact that someone thinks enough of you to share a personal confidence with you , reveals the regard they have for you as well. Thank you for your response.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
Hi,
If my friends/relatives tell me some news and asked me to
keep it as a secret,then I will do it. Or else, sometimes I may
end up tell other friends/relatives about it.
It is depend on the situation and what kind of news it is.
However,not everyone will tell you a secret and when that person
tell you her secret,it means she trust you .
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
yes, it does depend on who told you the secret and also, how important it is to the person that you keep it to yourself.I admit that sometimes it's hard to do this but it really is a matter of trust and how close you are to the person.Thank you for your response.
@hanuma34 (819)
• India
9 Oct 10
It is tricky. If someone shares some secret with you that means that person trusts you that you do not divulge. On the contrary if you feel the secret is about another person who too trusts you then the clash of interests surface. The decision has to be by weighing pros and cons. I can only say, when somone trusts and shares a secrets with you, let the trust be the deciding factor, unless letting the secret out is in the common interest of the group etc. All this means one has to be discreet, while keeping the secrets shared by trust.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I agree,there really isn't an absolute yes or no to this question and you do have to weigh both sides of the situation. The only time i can say that i would absolutley keep someones secret to myself is, if it's a very personal one the person felt he or she wanted to share with me and also didn't involve anyone else. I would also be flattered that someone trusted me enough to the extentthat i was the only person they could share it with.in this case i would definitely keep it to myself. Thank you for your response.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
I have few personal secrets that I've been keeping to myself since I was a kid until today. I never want to confide it to anyone and I never felt like I needed to. I have friends who often confide their "secret" to me, but they will first usually ask me if I can keep it to myself or not. So this is how I usually reply to them : If they really consider it as a secret then they won't break it to anyone at all, because once it shared and broken, it is not a secret anymore. So they must not expect me to never forgot that it is supposed to be a secret in the future because life is busy and chaotic enough, so I can't promise. They will understand because they could see my point, and I'm glad I don't have to work hard on keeping someone else secret so far
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
We all have our own personal secrets we don't feel the need to share with anyone.but, i think it's very flattering if a friend trusts you enough to tell you something no one else knows. but, you make a good point when you say that you advise your friends not to tell you their secret,it shows your honest enough to admit that you may just forget to keep that promise. Thank you for your response
@holdingfast (117)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
When a friend reveals a secret to me, I see to it that I keep it to myself because I believe that my friend trust me.
@jvculanagF (66)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
I am good in keeping secrets but it depends on what the secret is. I don't want to be a traitor to anyone, but I'm also considerate for the feelings of the others. I kept secrets if my friend or anyone wants me to just keep it, but if it is already beyond the limit, it's time for me to let others know. Specially those person involve on the secret.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
9 Oct 10
yes, if someone else is involved in the secret it's best to tell your friend you would appreciate if they wouldn't tell you at all. You just don't know who you might be offending by keeping these things to yourself. i have to be sure that thesecret is a personal one and does not involve anyone else, if it doesn't , i will keep it to myself, since it was entrusted to me.Thank you for your response
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I think i am good at keeping a secret. i may feel guilty doing it though. Secrets usually have a way of coming out. When they do, you just never know what may happen.
@b3ginn3r (221)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes I am. A lot of my friends have told a lot of secrets to me and not one of it came out from me. Usually after confiding a secret to me, I just store it in the back of my mind and sometimes even forgets about it. I have secrets and I know how difficult it is to keep it to yourself. Sometimes there's this emotion inside that urges you to release that secret of yours to others. Fortunately, I haven't gave in yet.
@sra1reddy (34)
• India
9 Oct 10
well my dear my lotter In world every thing almost in secret.but we always try to find that what is it?,why for it?, ???? something so many doubts are created in our mind due to undefined fear in our strength .
@coarcangelF (54)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
..yah,i always try that,but sometimes it makes you bud if you always keep secret cause you have many things to think so in norder top keep it..i dont like keeping secrets but im good of it
@yufut09 (23)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
If you don't want your secrets revealed then dont trust anybody. I'm not really a talkative person so it's not a real problem for me, the more talkative you are the more chances you're tongue will slip and eventually people will know your secrets.
When the secret is reall hard to bear and you need to channel the burden to something, try doing it with your pets =) at least you know they care for you and they won't spill out what your talking about, they don't respond but they still care for and it will reach them somehow =) try it
@MoTown95 (3)
• Denmark
9 Oct 10
I am not that old of age, but I am amsrt enough to know that when a fellow human being speaks out a secret to you, you better keep it. Surely I have earlier due to being a tween spelled others secrets out loud. but now I know better. In a situation like this I tend to think, What if I were the one telling the secret?
