I had such a scare the other day--I thought I was going to be a grandmother!
By dragon54u
@dragon54u (31634)
United States
November 13, 2010 11:13am CST
My son called and told me his girlfriend thought she might be pregnant. I'm so proud of the way he reacted--no thought of abortion and he wanted my advice about finances, handling hospital bills, etc., and to ask me if I would move back to his state if they had a child. Of course I would, he could not support a family by himself unless she worked and then strangers would care for the baby.
I found out today that it was a false alarm. They are very careful, so I suspected it might be. But for two days I was thinking about it, mentally throwing possessions out, packing up a very few things I would not part with and figuring how to get rid of my furniture--moving it across the country would be too expensive.
I came to the conclusion that I would just pack up then throw the doors open and invite the neighborhood to take whatever they wanted--dishes, small appliances, furniture, everything.
Have you ever had a "scare" like this with your children? I was upset because my son is only 23 but thrilled at the thought of a grandchild, upset at the logistics of moving and the expense but looking forward to seeing both my sons anytime I wished! What would you think and do?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
17 Nov 10
Hiya Dragon,
What a to do. You must have been over the Moon too just for those two Days. I think I would have been the same also in that moment but later with my cool cap on I would have thought about it in a cooler frame of mind.
But then later I know I would start getting things ready too for what might be. However I too would have waited to see the results of the Yes or No is it or is´nt it?
Never mind they have all the time in this World for that to make you a Grandmother. That Day is not too far away I´m sure of it.
Take care now. Sue.xxx
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
17 Nov 10
It was a real emotional roller coaster! My son had those two days to think hard about what fatherhood would mean and in the future he will be sure that both of them are using protection, not just him. He had a good scare that will help him in the future.
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@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Nov 10
Hiya dragon,
Good scare and a lot emotions too. Boy he must have been shaken up a bit either way. Men usually are more than Women.
It will help in the future yes it surely will. Let´s hope in the near future you have the news again but for certain and you will be able to experience that feeling all over again.
@hofferp (4734)
• United States
14 Nov 10
I don't think I would have packed up and moved to be near my kid. You say you have two sons. What would you do if both had children within months of each other? Which son would you follow? I think children need to be allowed to grow up, become adults. I' just go and visit.
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
My son has been in college for the past two years and had some financial issues that he's trying to catch up on, just now making a dent in them and getting on his feet. My other son lives in the same city. We could all live together! 
They have been out on their own for 3-4 years now and for the most part they deal with their own problems and sometimes call me for advice. Finally, they are listening to my advice! 
In fact, I moved back "home" so that they could be allowed to grow up without my interfering and being constantly there to lean on. It was tough on me but it worked. I was hoping they would move here but I'll probably end up moving back there eventually.
They have been out on their own for 3-4 years now and for the most part they deal with their own problems and sometimes call me for advice. Finally, they are listening to my advice! In fact, I moved back "home" so that they could be allowed to grow up without my interfering and being constantly there to lean on. It was tough on me but it worked. I was hoping they would move here but I'll probably end up moving back there eventually.@hofferp (4734)
• United States
15 Nov 10
I think you made the right decision, even if it was hard on you, to move back "home" and let them grow up. I wouldn't make any move; well, not anytime soon. After the kids get out of college, who knows where their jobs may take them. I'd just make my home "home"; one that the boys always knew was there for them. And it sounds like you've done that...
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
ohh that should have made your heart skip a beat! :)
you should expect them to start a family soon though. hehe goodlucck and well i hope it always turn out for the best for you and your family.
i have had my own share of "scares" in life.. but well of course none of them so far has been life changing as it could be for you with this scare... ;)
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
I don't think they'll be starting a family. 
They broke up last night. She's Mexican and was in the country illegally and moved back. He's been driving down to see her every few weeks but she won't move back here and refuses to leave her family for any length of time. He's heartbroken but dealing with it. Maybe I'll get a grandchild in the future when he finds the woman that's right for him.
They broke up last night. She's Mexican and was in the country illegally and moved back. He's been driving down to see her every few weeks but she won't move back here and refuses to leave her family for any length of time. He's heartbroken but dealing with it. Maybe I'll get a grandchild in the future when he finds the woman that's right for him. 
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I think that's amazing that you would pack and move to be near your son if he had a child! Many parents wouldn't do that! But I am very relieved to hear that it was a false alarm! A grandchild would be wonderful, but your son and his girlfriend are still pretty young and it doesn't sound like they're financially ready for a child yet. But maybe in a few years you'll be blessed with a beautiful grandchild!
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I would do anything for my sons, they know that they can count on me to support them emotionally no matter what. I hope you're right and I am blessed with a grandchild in the future! I think people should wait till at least 25 to marry and have children. I waited till my 30's!
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I turn 25 in a few days, and I definitely don't feel I'm prepared to be a parent! Many of my friends are married and have children already, but I just can't see myself having kids any time soon! Currently my plan is to wait till I'm 30 before I even start to think about having kids... but I have a feeling that when I'm 30 I still won't feel ready for kids! Haha, it's another 5 years though, so we'll see!
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@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
I can only imagine if my mother had a scare like that. You seem really calm about it. That's really supportive of you.
Although frankly, as much as I would like to have my mother near if ever I had a family of my own, I wouldn't dream of having her take care of my children.
I trust in her. But I'd like her to enjoy her freedom. After all she's only found her freedom after taking care of us for so many years. Maybe we could live in the same neighborhood but not near enough that I'd have (or vice versa) control of her schedules.
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
You are so considerate! She must have been a very good mother to you for you to have an attitude like that. Ideally, if I was a grandmother, I would live a few blocks away. Hopefully, by the time that comes, both my sons will be stable financially and established in their profession and I can be an occasional babysitter instead of a household fixture!
@edwarthefamily (42)
• United States
14 Nov 10
I think this could be pretty exciting and scary at the same time! But at 23, would be aleeto bit too early. 27 would be nice. I would also go and aid them. You have very good responsibility for doing so in 2 days! You are one good future grandmother!
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
I'm glad that he won't be a parent this young but I do hope I get to be a grandmother eventually!
Welcome to myLot!! Read the rules so you don't get your discussions deleted--no one line discussions (what's your fave ice cream?) or replies, you don't get paid for those. Make lots of friend requests so you have a base of people who answer your discussions while you answer theirs, then you all have fun and make money. You'll meet people from all over the world here, it's a great place!!
Welcome to myLot!! Read the rules so you don't get your discussions deleted--no one line discussions (what's your fave ice cream?) or replies, you don't get paid for those. Make lots of friend requests so you have a base of people who answer your discussions while you answer theirs, then you all have fun and make money. You'll meet people from all over the world here, it's a great place!! 
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
13 Nov 10
i think you are such a great parent to be willing to support your son so much... not all parents will be willing to do what you are doing to your son... i'm glad that it is just a false alarm and you don't really have to do all that you mention in your post... i never have a scare like this before because i don't have a child yet... but i will be very scared as well if i were in your position... take care and have a nice day...
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
You're the age I was when I conceived my son! It's good to wait, get all your partying and adventures done. 
Some people never want children and that's okay, too. I'll do anything for my children. 
Some people never want children and that's okay, too. I'll do anything for my children. 
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Nov 10
hi dragon I think I would probably have done the same thing as our sons mean so much to us and 23 is so young but he sounds p retty level headed too. I just wish my only son had wanted to marry but he is a confirmed b achelor and I do want him t o be happy so if thats what he wants its okay. I can live without being a grandmother. lol
done the same thing as our sons mean so much to us and 23 is so young but he sounds p retty level headed too. I just wish my only son had wanted to marry but he is a confirmed b achelor and I do want him t o be happy so if thats what he wants its okay. I can live without being a grandmother. lol1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I've always told both my sons to live their own lives as they wish and don't worry about giving me grandchildren. I would love to be a grandmother but not at their expense! I was so proud that he didn't even consider killing the child, just stepped up to take responsibility.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
13 Nov 10
When he was 21 or 22, my son was living on the east coast. He called me and announced that he was going to be a daddy. I heard nothing for a while. The next time I talked with him, he said his girl friend's parent had come after her. I asked about the baby, and he said she had an abortion. I'm sure that the parents though our son wasn't good enough for their daughter. You see, they were moneyed. I won't give their name, but it is a name that is on their product everywhere. My son was a lowly mechanic at the time. My son waited about 10 years before marrying. That union produced 2 exceptionally bright sons. That isn't just grandma bragging, either.
The youngest is being home schooled because the gifted and talented class in the public school was boring. The older one is in college studying to be an engineer, The lowest grade he has ever made was a B.
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Things usually work out as they are supposed to so even though your son's heart was broken he got the wife he deserved. I'm sure his former girlfriend isn't so fortunate, not with karma like that. I'm happy for your family!
@savypat (20216)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I couldn't do this now, but when my kids were having children our home, with just my husband and me was always open to them. I use to tell them that worse than having them leave home was when they came back with families. As it turned out all 3 of my kids came back with their families for a time. The two daughters devorced and brought their kids home to live and my Son got in a terrible accident where he and his wife moved back in so that we could all care for him. I have always been thankful that our home was available to all who needed it.
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@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
13 Nov 10
That is how is should be! I'm glad you were able to help your children and grandchildren, it must have been a joy even with some of the hardship it must have imposed. I will always be there for my children.
