anger management
bullies
bully
grade school
handle
handling
highschool
physical abuse
social skills
verbal abuse
Bullies
@frontvisions101 (16043)
Philippines
November 15, 2010 11:24am CST
We've encountered bullies at least once in our life and they may have brought out the best of us. in highschool, i've had a number of groups of friends which i consider unfortunate and i might have done things i'm not proud of that's why i'm choosing my friends. peer pressure can really make you do stuff you're not proud of and you might regret in the future. i'm not saying i'm a bully but i did push over the mass pacifists of my time during that time and it's honestly because of peer pressure so in a way, i was also bullied although it's more implied than the traditional physical attacks or verbal abuse. the unfortunate selection of groups changed me and, honestly and regretfully, i never liked myself back then. i tried to change and i'm proud to say that there is a massive improvement in my attitude but that terrible bullying part of me still peeks out once in a while. this discussion isn't about me though, it's more about knowing you guys more. were you bullied earlier in your life? are you being bullied now? how are you handling it or how did you handle it?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@hati3kuro (269)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
I was bullied countless times before, regardless when I was in primary school or in high school.. I won't say that it's all their fault, but part of it has to do with me, since I was so very confident with my eccentric ways..
Being eccentric + easily annoyed at the same time give those bullies the biggest reason ever to start picking on me... and I was really alone at that time... my parents were the only ones who tried to solve this problem of mine, coping with new environments..
As for your question, I really do think that people start bullying others due to several reasons, whether they want to elevate their self esteem, feel good about themselves, or simply because it's that bullied person who is too different to fit by their terms.. especially when they know that you're the person who never fights back ..
Thank God I'm no longer bullied now.. even if people do try to annoy me sometimes, I learned that by being indifferent to what people say to me works very well, they stop after some time and that makes me feel real good
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
Ignorance really is bliss. There are people who just annoys other people and for no reason at all. How do you manage this attitude of yours? Is getting annoyed pretty easily helping you?
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
That's a nice way to put it. Generally, putting yourself into someone else's shoes widens your perspective and gives you flexibility when making decisions. Have you ever tried that?
@hati3kuro (269)
• Malaysia
17 Nov 10
It didn't help me at all, to be honest.
Through the years I tried to "desensitize" myself, as I am quite a sensitive person. To my utter amazement, subtle changes in my attitude really helped me to easily get along with people, and made me feel better about myself.
I still have to make several alterations in my life of course, but so far everything's been working out and I'm really focusing on how do I serve rather than how I got served, from others.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
16 Nov 10
I think bullies are cowards. Like you said, they have problems (peer pressure, pressure from parents, other problems) but they don't know how to fix their own problems so they bring it out on someone they think they can intimidate. I think it's a lame excuse to blame another bully for your bulling because you couldn't stick up to what was right and helped the bully to stop being one and to be a better person. The victims who don't bully back are the ones with the most strength and especially when no one helps them out. They have to carry this trauma for the rest of their life. I've been bullied in the past. In high school, I just held it in and didn't do anything about it. It seemed to scare them away when you don't give any reaction at all, not even a blink. If they were friends or lovers who bullied me, the eventually became neither.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
So you've experienced both physical and verbal. How did that affect your life?
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
I know how to fix my problems back then. It's just that almost all my friends are bullies and they wanted me to be the same as them. How were you bullied specifically? Verbally physically?
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
16 Nov 10
fortunately, i never feel like being bullied my whole life... i feel being intimidated many times by other people who are much better than me in some aspects throughout my life though because i have a low self-confidence... that is what i have to work on until now... my self-confidence so that other people can see what i am capable of and i can become a better person... take care and have a nice day...
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
3 Dec 10
How specifically were you bullied? How did it affect you?
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Several schools have bullies who bully other people. Those kinds of people that bully are in a very low level; other people must never get down to the same level as the bully's. Bullies just enjoy hurting other people. Other people should just ignore bullies. At times bully's look means but has a good heart. Bullies don't have any intimate in their selves so they are trying to build their confidence by bullying. Some bully's think it’s cool to be bad and to bully other people. Bullies don't worth anything. They think they are the coolest and scariest people.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
You have a lot of thoughts about them. Care to share the valuable life experience that comes with it? :)
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
The thing is, bullies only bully those that don't stand for themselves. If they can sniff you that you're a coward, they'll gang up on you like dogs. Confronting them is an option but standing up for yourself is more than enough for a solution.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
No one is blaming the victim here. What i'm saying is a fact. What i've observed back then was, my friends didn't push those who pushed back. It's because they're standing for themselves.
@rovered777 (649)
• United States
16 Nov 10
Bullies have left my life, and have been out for about 8 years. Back when I was in high school, this bully would sit right next to me on the bus. He would constantly tickle, punch and touch me. The only best defense I had was going under the seat and getting into another seat when someone left the bus. He was so cruel that he would take my glasses out of my book bag, and return it during the last day of school. It was a petrifying experience. I have used such experiences to learn the art of karate and kick boxing. If someone wants to bully me now, I have an amazing punch force that can leave the bully with severe injuries. I choose not to inflict severe wounds on others, but have decided to use as much defense that is needed to slow bullies down.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Funny, we've had this survey before. A friend wanted to put up a mixed martial arts studio on an area and we had to do some surveying to know whether the people there would want to learn mixed martial arts. The ones that have said "yes" mostly had the reason "I don't want to be bullied anymore". I've been learning muay thai and the fellows I'm with had the same reason as well. It's weird thing but if you think about it, their decisions are based on past experiences. I'm sure no one would want to hurt you anymore or they're in for a nice surprise. Good decision.
